Another big thing for me recently has been some breakthroughs in tracing my family tree...
My maternal Grandfathers side of the family as always been intriguing. There is mystery there for sure. My Grandfather was a music critic, but a well loved one. He was close to making a breakthrough and writing for one of the national newspapers but he died of Hodgkins leaving a fiance, an ex-wife and two children.
He fought in the Second World War in India and he rode a horse and may possibly have been a PoW. His family was very poor, his Dad dead and he often found himself in a Childrens Home with his brother. There are hints of abuse while in care. There are hints of lots of things to be honest but precious few facts. What is clear though is how respected and loved he was. Years and years later my uncle visited a pub in the town my Grandfather had worked in, and was recognised as a son of my grandfathers...
So it is unclear, the story of my Great Grandfather Owen Edgar, because most of it is just too recent. He was a Furnishing Assistant and fought in the First World War and may have died of TB but I have no idea when... He first appears on a census in 1901 at the age of 8 living with his father William Owen and Annie. When I was able to find his 1911 census record though, things changed. The 1911 census lists the length of the marriage and the number of children born to the woman and how many are still alive and dead. Annie never had any children and had not been married to William Owen long enough to be Owen Edgar's Mother. A pencil written note on the census record confirmed that this was correct and Annie was not Owen Edgar's Mother.
Now this branch of the family has a common surname and lived in London. Finding them was impossible because I had no way to separate them from others. I decided to order Owen Edgar's birth certificate and this gave me an address for them in 1893 and his Mother's maiden name, she was called Kate.
My next step was to find their wedding details and this again was very, very hard. in 1893, they lived within the bounds of Greater London but in 1892, they were based only a few streets away, but it counted as Middlesex. It took me hours of searching to find them, but I did and I finally ordered the wedding certificate and received it last weekend.
I already knew that William Owen was a Draper but I discovered his father was called John and worked as a Millwright and that Kate's father was called Edmond L something and was a Schoolmaster. And I still could not find any of them.
The wedding certificate gave an address for William Owen in 1892, so I decided to hunt through the censuses for that address and see if William or any relative has been living there only a year before. This took some time as the district had nearly 100 sub-sections and I had to wade through, accompanied by a map of London, to find the right area. When I did there was no sign of William Owen or Kate, but there was a Walter Thomas. This was really important, because he appears as a witness on the wedding certificate!
At another dead end, I decided to start a family tree for Walter Thomas and see if it connected at all to either of them. Walter had several brothers but I paid more attention to his sister Caroline because girls change their names. Caroline married an Edward Argent and this was really important because William Owen's second wife, Annie, was an Argent too.
On looking at the census's it becomes clear that Caroline was Edward's third wife and that he had had three children with his first wife. The 1881 census shows the family which includes a daughter Ann and a niece, Kate Davis. So William Owen married Kate, using one of Kate's Uncle's address, Walter Thomas. Kate had been brought up by her Aunt Caroline in the house of her cousin by marriage, Ann. When Kate died, William Owen was married again, but this time to Kate's cousin Ann(ie). This makes sense... Annie would have been the perfect person to keep house and care for Owen Edgar.
So Kate was probably an orphan. I eventually found her both on the 1891 census and the 1871 census, both listing her as being born in Kent, obviously whoever answered the 1881 census in her adopted family was a little fuzzy on exactly where she had been born.
Kate's parents were Edmond Louis and Eliza. Eliza shared the same surname as Walter Thomas and Caroline (before she was maried) and is obviously the family connection but I have been unable to prove the connection. Children appear on one census, disappear off the next one and reappear again. This is a family that was fairly fluid in it's child care because the Father appears to have been bringing them up alone. I have yet to find any trace of Eliza before her marriage.
Edmond Louis is also an interesting enigma. He was in his 40s when he had Kate and appears to have led a very full life but discrepancies make it hard to say that I am dealing with one person who did all these things. Before his marriage he certainly moved around and appears as a visitor and as a lodger on different censuses. Most censuses list him as English but one suggests he may have been born in Ireland. It may have been necessary for him to disguise this within the circles he moved in to.
He began as a General Legal Clerk but then became a Photographist working for Nicholas Henneman. Nicholas Henneman taught Rejlander the photographic process and Rejlander went on to become very important in this field. At Henneman and Co, Edmund sent out photographic supplies to Fox Talbot, another pioneering Photographer, and the letters accompanying these have surivived and are part of the Fox Talbot online archive. In the archive he is listed as President of the London Horticultural Society which later became the Royal Horticultural Society. On the final census before his death, he is listed as a Professor of English and Drawing, which fits with Schoolmaster and also shows a considerable development from Legal Clerk. If all this is true, then he was quite a man, with wide ranging interests and a great deal of success. He may not have been the brightest star, with his own wikipedia entry, but he was very likely their contemporary...
Except he died and left a very young Kate who had no access in all likelihood to his social circles following his death. Living with her much poorer maternal family from such a young age, what friends and connections she would have had, if her father had lived, were considerably reduced, however, she did have a career herself. I found her in 1891 working at Whiteley's, the worlds first department store. The staff lived in and worked 17 hour days, six days a week and a huge number of rules they had to live by. She is listed as a Draper Assistant.
So Kate was a Drapers Assistant in a department store with no fixed address as soon as she married and William Owen was a Draper who required the address of Kate's family in order to get married, before settling in London. Chances are, they met via Whiteleys. William Owen either worked there too or he visited the store in a professional capacity.
What I find really interesting about this family is this cycle of self made intellectual men, parents who do not survive to look after their children, children in the care of others. There is a real link to the creative, to the arts too but they were not the stars, they were the clerks and critics and teachers. Kate, Owen Edgar and my Grandfather all lost a parent or two in childhood and of these, only Owen Edgar did not fall into care, probably because of Annie Argent.
I don't see this cycle in my branch of the family but I do see it in my Uncle's. he too is a brilliant intellectual but not a shining star. He is successful but you are unlikely to hear of him but you would admire his work... He is a Photographer and a Scientist. And his wife died leaving my cousins as children. It seems to me that there is a tangled web of life lessons and karma being unpicked.
I still have a lot of work to do and connections to make, but I think I have the bones of the story.
Showing posts with label Ancestry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ancestry. Show all posts
Friday, 14 December 2012
Friday, 6 July 2012
Moon of Territoriality Review
OK so this is a few days late.... This has not been an easy Moon for me at all. Emotions have not been the issue but the misunderstood territory of my own body. I have been so very tired with it all but despite being able to do very little apart from go to work, I have not generally been down. Illness has previously taught me when to hunker down and not push forward so hard. Acceptance comes much more easily now.
But although I am acceptant of how I feel in the Now, I am not complacent about the future. I have been going to the Doctors, bringing up symptoms, having tests. Sometimes in the past, I have allowed myself to be swept away by the Doctors and have not gotten very far. No saying how far I shall get this time but I am trying to push.
I think because I am overweight it is easy for my issues to be blamed on that rather than for them to see that my weight is just a symptom of some deeper issue that no one has been able to resolve. The lady who I go to for Massages agrees wholeheartedly that some thing is fundamentally wrong with my body.
When I found out I had a virus lurking I immediately booked a massage so she could pummel my lymph and help clear it out of my body and today I feel fragile. I am glad I booked a day off because it meant she was able to go really hard at it.
This Moon has fundamentally been about the only thing any one of us ever really own - our bodies. It has not been about emotions or thinking or even really moving forward in many, many ways. It has just been about being in my own skin.
This beautiful picture here is the one I have choosen for this Moon. I think I look a bit like this in my own head maybe *laugh* but mainly it is about how the woman in the photo is just so very much in their own body. Their territory is their Body.
I don't know if I said about the totem for this Moon.... Having wondered whether or not it was Grasshopper, I waited for some synchronicity. The following day we were at our drumming circle, which was a lovely occasion. The birds were behaving unusually though. It was full daylight and we could hear an Owl calling and I have never heard an Owl call in the day before. And then at the end I could hear a bird that sounded exactly like a Grasshopper! It was a completely new one on me and on the people I was with, including the land owner who used to work in nature conservation. One person told me there was a bird called a Grasshopper Warbler and said it could be one of those. I listened to one online and yes... I think hearing this bird counts as confirmation of my totem for this Moon but it amuses me that it was a bird that confirmed it for me. Birds feature really strongly in my Wheel which surprises me.
The young Warrior picked up the pot and smeared the salve on to his bare skin. With every stroke of his fingers he vanished, every little thing that built over the years, emotion, experience, thought. Until there was nothing left but him, in the moment, stripped bare and coloured blue, with feathers bound in his hair, their inky depths just adding shadows within shadows.
The blue marked the boundary of everything that he was, his animal shell but he was at one with all around him. Then he and his brethren were walking forward through the gloom to wait the men that would come. And whether or not he died here did not matter. He was himself, at one, in the moment and living his fate, with no fear or excitement, just his skill, practiced until it became instinct and his spear and his blue, blue skin.
The Crows gathered in the trees beyond and waited for their time to come. Part of him stayed behind with the Crows and watched. Watched as blue ran red. And black beaks and legs turned red with the magic of blood. In two places at once and then there was only pain as skin left and only feathers remained.
Not what I expected to write... Writing it made me want to cry. Living in this land in ancient times and in some nameless life being a warrior and fighting does not seem unlikely. There is a legend that King Arthur's soul was carried away by a Crow who was transformed in to a Chough, which have red legs and beaks. If King Arthur, why not other commoner fighting men? Given my kinship to the Crows and their Cousins in this life, why not in previous lives too? I am surprised by how much this hurts...
But although I am acceptant of how I feel in the Now, I am not complacent about the future. I have been going to the Doctors, bringing up symptoms, having tests. Sometimes in the past, I have allowed myself to be swept away by the Doctors and have not gotten very far. No saying how far I shall get this time but I am trying to push.
I think because I am overweight it is easy for my issues to be blamed on that rather than for them to see that my weight is just a symptom of some deeper issue that no one has been able to resolve. The lady who I go to for Massages agrees wholeheartedly that some thing is fundamentally wrong with my body.
When I found out I had a virus lurking I immediately booked a massage so she could pummel my lymph and help clear it out of my body and today I feel fragile. I am glad I booked a day off because it meant she was able to go really hard at it.
This Moon has fundamentally been about the only thing any one of us ever really own - our bodies. It has not been about emotions or thinking or even really moving forward in many, many ways. It has just been about being in my own skin.
This beautiful picture here is the one I have choosen for this Moon. I think I look a bit like this in my own head maybe *laugh* but mainly it is about how the woman in the photo is just so very much in their own body. Their territory is their Body.
I don't know if I said about the totem for this Moon.... Having wondered whether or not it was Grasshopper, I waited for some synchronicity. The following day we were at our drumming circle, which was a lovely occasion. The birds were behaving unusually though. It was full daylight and we could hear an Owl calling and I have never heard an Owl call in the day before. And then at the end I could hear a bird that sounded exactly like a Grasshopper! It was a completely new one on me and on the people I was with, including the land owner who used to work in nature conservation. One person told me there was a bird called a Grasshopper Warbler and said it could be one of those. I listened to one online and yes... I think hearing this bird counts as confirmation of my totem for this Moon but it amuses me that it was a bird that confirmed it for me. Birds feature really strongly in my Wheel which surprises me.
The young Warrior picked up the pot and smeared the salve on to his bare skin. With every stroke of his fingers he vanished, every little thing that built over the years, emotion, experience, thought. Until there was nothing left but him, in the moment, stripped bare and coloured blue, with feathers bound in his hair, their inky depths just adding shadows within shadows.
The blue marked the boundary of everything that he was, his animal shell but he was at one with all around him. Then he and his brethren were walking forward through the gloom to wait the men that would come. And whether or not he died here did not matter. He was himself, at one, in the moment and living his fate, with no fear or excitement, just his skill, practiced until it became instinct and his spear and his blue, blue skin.
The Crows gathered in the trees beyond and waited for their time to come. Part of him stayed behind with the Crows and watched. Watched as blue ran red. And black beaks and legs turned red with the magic of blood. In two places at once and then there was only pain as skin left and only feathers remained.
Not what I expected to write... Writing it made me want to cry. Living in this land in ancient times and in some nameless life being a warrior and fighting does not seem unlikely. There is a legend that King Arthur's soul was carried away by a Crow who was transformed in to a Chough, which have red legs and beaks. If King Arthur, why not other commoner fighting men? Given my kinship to the Crows and their Cousins in this life, why not in previous lives too? I am surprised by how much this hurts...
Saturday, 17 March 2012
News
So what news do I have...? Not much really. I am as dippy as usual about things. i texted a friend yesterday to see what time we were meeting, only to find it is next week.... Oops!
Today F and I made the most of the sun and went out. First we went to Smokey's for a fry up. This is a local truck stop / greasy spoon and is a very good place to know about. Doesn't look like much but the car park is always busy and in the Summer the queue stretches out the door.
Then we went to godrevy. Godrevy is the headland at one end of the Gwithian / St Ives Bay. The headland has Godrevy island off it, home to the lighthouse and the headland is rocky with little protected areas of sand. Then as you get further in you reach Godrevy beach, home of surfers where the Red River flows into the sea. There the beach turns into the long sweep, past the old sand escavations, now flooded and home to birds, past the towan (sand dunes) of gwithian, past the sand dunes of Phillack, a little village that sits between Hayle town and the sea, past the black cliffs to the mouth of the Hayle estuary. The other side of the estuary the beaches of Carbis Bay and St Ives glitter in the sun.
We managed to park eventually on the headland and then walked down to the beach. We normally walk around the headland but today we scrambled over rocks. We spent an hour and a half exploring a very small area. Those rocks look like they form a solid plateau from above but in reality water has carved channels through them in every direction. Some have been made by water flowing out of the cliffs, others by the sea and some by both. Some run from land to sea and others run parallel. Some are alley ways and others are little rocky clefts and others are almost caves while some actually are little cavelike tunnels.
It was lovely.
Generally my life does not feel eventful at the moment but that is all good. All the thinking and stuff is going on underneath. I am continuing to learn about my Ancestor, the one who fought in the Crimean. I have just read somebodies diary of the Crimean and it was fascinating. i have however pieced together that he did not suffer the full horror of the war, he arrived after the winter, so starvation, bitter cold and Cholera were not a combination he had to suffer... Instead he was surrounded by Cholera and burning heat... It seems he went and raided the seaside towns before going to the Siege of Sebastopol. I now have a diary of the Indian Mutiny to read and then I also have a book about his regiment coming too.
In other news, F and I have finally booked our honeymoon! we got a fantastic deal on a holiday to Rhodes, one of the Greek islands. I guess tourism must be suffering a little.... I am really lookig forward to it and I have been planning excursions, reading books, buying clothes.... and deciding what books I wish to take for the days we stay cocooned between the sea and the swimming pool.... Can't wait!
Today F and I made the most of the sun and went out. First we went to Smokey's for a fry up. This is a local truck stop / greasy spoon and is a very good place to know about. Doesn't look like much but the car park is always busy and in the Summer the queue stretches out the door.
Then we went to godrevy. Godrevy is the headland at one end of the Gwithian / St Ives Bay. The headland has Godrevy island off it, home to the lighthouse and the headland is rocky with little protected areas of sand. Then as you get further in you reach Godrevy beach, home of surfers where the Red River flows into the sea. There the beach turns into the long sweep, past the old sand escavations, now flooded and home to birds, past the towan (sand dunes) of gwithian, past the sand dunes of Phillack, a little village that sits between Hayle town and the sea, past the black cliffs to the mouth of the Hayle estuary. The other side of the estuary the beaches of Carbis Bay and St Ives glitter in the sun.
We managed to park eventually on the headland and then walked down to the beach. We normally walk around the headland but today we scrambled over rocks. We spent an hour and a half exploring a very small area. Those rocks look like they form a solid plateau from above but in reality water has carved channels through them in every direction. Some have been made by water flowing out of the cliffs, others by the sea and some by both. Some run from land to sea and others run parallel. Some are alley ways and others are little rocky clefts and others are almost caves while some actually are little cavelike tunnels.
It was lovely.
Generally my life does not feel eventful at the moment but that is all good. All the thinking and stuff is going on underneath. I am continuing to learn about my Ancestor, the one who fought in the Crimean. I have just read somebodies diary of the Crimean and it was fascinating. i have however pieced together that he did not suffer the full horror of the war, he arrived after the winter, so starvation, bitter cold and Cholera were not a combination he had to suffer... Instead he was surrounded by Cholera and burning heat... It seems he went and raided the seaside towns before going to the Siege of Sebastopol. I now have a diary of the Indian Mutiny to read and then I also have a book about his regiment coming too.
In other news, F and I have finally booked our honeymoon! we got a fantastic deal on a holiday to Rhodes, one of the Greek islands. I guess tourism must be suffering a little.... I am really lookig forward to it and I have been planning excursions, reading books, buying clothes.... and deciding what books I wish to take for the days we stay cocooned between the sea and the swimming pool.... Can't wait!
Sunday, 12 February 2012
Work
OK, so not one thing has been knocked off my list of things to do. But one thing is nearly there...
Most of this year so far I have not felt much like working away on my Ancestry. I don't why exactly but just working on my Ancestry is pretty draining in itself. I work on a computer all day, every day pretty much but et, a couple of days on my Ancestors and I am tired. I just have not had the energy so far this year.
Well, I promised the Uncle I wish to write the letter to, that I would send him the tree. So these last few days I have been working on the tree so it is not in an online state and I can print it off easily. This is to be the sugar to coat the letter I intend to send. Hopefully enough sugar will distract him from any potential bitterness....
Putting this info on the computer has another benefit though. I can flick through it more easily now. I can add notes and tick people off so as I explore different branches I can note where I have been. The tree has just gotten too darn big and complicated to keep track of and this has not helped me work on it because I just can not remember what I have and have not done.
So I started this Friday and had almost finished when the computer crashed. Immediately I realised I could do a better job, that it was confusing and complicated and I could simplify it. This is what I have done these last two days. And now it is done, all I need to do it print it off, write the letter and send it off.
Yesterday I took time out to eat pasties and walk on the beach in the sun. It was low tide and the beach we went to is part of a huge sandy bay. We walked by the mouth of an estuary. It was so very beautiful.
Now, for the little bit of weekend remaining, chilling really is in order....
Most of this year so far I have not felt much like working away on my Ancestry. I don't why exactly but just working on my Ancestry is pretty draining in itself. I work on a computer all day, every day pretty much but et, a couple of days on my Ancestors and I am tired. I just have not had the energy so far this year.
Well, I promised the Uncle I wish to write the letter to, that I would send him the tree. So these last few days I have been working on the tree so it is not in an online state and I can print it off easily. This is to be the sugar to coat the letter I intend to send. Hopefully enough sugar will distract him from any potential bitterness....
Putting this info on the computer has another benefit though. I can flick through it more easily now. I can add notes and tick people off so as I explore different branches I can note where I have been. The tree has just gotten too darn big and complicated to keep track of and this has not helped me work on it because I just can not remember what I have and have not done.
So I started this Friday and had almost finished when the computer crashed. Immediately I realised I could do a better job, that it was confusing and complicated and I could simplify it. This is what I have done these last two days. And now it is done, all I need to do it print it off, write the letter and send it off.
Yesterday I took time out to eat pasties and walk on the beach in the sun. It was low tide and the beach we went to is part of a huge sandy bay. We walked by the mouth of an estuary. It was so very beautiful.
Now, for the little bit of weekend remaining, chilling really is in order....
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Castle Connections
There is a hill near here. A big long ridge with three high points with the St Michael leyline running all along it. One high point has been topped with a memorial and another with a folly castle that is now a restaurant. F asked me to marry him on a cold, claer, bright winters morning sat on a granite stack near the monument and we celebrated our wedding years later in that castle.
Ever since I first came here that hill top has fascinated me. I found an obscure track along it's side to a vantage point on it's side my first week down here, house hunting. When I moved here, I was taken my the more normal road to it's top within days. I sat in lectures gazing out at it. It watches me as I live and work.
My Dad told me at my wedding that he thought he had been there before but not inside. I promptly forgot this!
So I was very suprised when looking at old family photos belonging to my Grandmother, to see a familiar building... In fact I found two photos.
This first photo shows my Father with my Grandmother and Grandfather sat in front of the castle on some of the granite stacks. This photo is probably around fifty years old. And so, despite the two photos not looking at all the same, I left it at that. (oh how silly - and prehaps a little ego in there? *laugh*)
This second photo is clearly older and the men on the castle walls are wearing bowler hats. It also says on the back Dad at ****, in my Grandmother's writing. It was nagging at my Dad and he came back to it and figure it out.... This photo is of my Great Grandfather, also at the castle! He died in 1914 so this photo is at least 100 years old and shows I have some sort of connection this palce going back through four generations over a hundred years, even though there is no obvious reason why my non-Cornish family should have been drawn here....
Now since my wedding people have delighted in telling me things about the place... One friend told me they had heard the owner had been given large amounts of money by people from a now defunct base so they could hold completely private parties there overnight. My conspiracy friend has delighted in telling me that the St Mary line and St Michael line spiral around each other across the land and that the St Michael line is polluted and bad and favoured by Satanists. I do not agree, the line is not bad, it may have been put to selfish uses, but that is human, not the line itself...
However....
One night as I was on my way home I was casting out thoughts that I wanted to learn things, to know. A Voice answered and said 'we can show you everything'. Of course I was interested! I told me to go to ****. So later that evening, Little Dog and i went there. It was pitch dark as it was the New Moon. I made it to the top and sat on granite admiring the view.
Nothing happened. Well, not till I closed my eyes anyway... At once there was a circle of shadowy figures around me. And having seen them, I knew who these entities were who offered me knowledge, and power too. They were of Crowley's ilk. Crowley was intimately connected with Cornwall and while he may not have been one of these spirits, they were of his line. Not the sort I wish to have anything to do with. Not my path. not anything I wish to have in my life. So I politely declined and walked away.
And since then my path and learning has done nothing but speed up, but it a gentler, kinder direction, one full of heart and soul, that seeks to work with spirit, for it. Not to understand it and control it. But it does all make me wonder at the exact nature of my families connection with this place.... Why have we all been drawn here? and how strange that four generations of my family have all loved this place, hundreds of miles from where we lived....
For my part it is all about love and a connection to the land and to my ancestors. What drew them there I shall never know.
Ever since I first came here that hill top has fascinated me. I found an obscure track along it's side to a vantage point on it's side my first week down here, house hunting. When I moved here, I was taken my the more normal road to it's top within days. I sat in lectures gazing out at it. It watches me as I live and work.
My Dad told me at my wedding that he thought he had been there before but not inside. I promptly forgot this!
So I was very suprised when looking at old family photos belonging to my Grandmother, to see a familiar building... In fact I found two photos.
This first photo shows my Father with my Grandmother and Grandfather sat in front of the castle on some of the granite stacks. This photo is probably around fifty years old. And so, despite the two photos not looking at all the same, I left it at that. (oh how silly - and prehaps a little ego in there? *laugh*)
This second photo is clearly older and the men on the castle walls are wearing bowler hats. It also says on the back Dad at ****, in my Grandmother's writing. It was nagging at my Dad and he came back to it and figure it out.... This photo is of my Great Grandfather, also at the castle! He died in 1914 so this photo is at least 100 years old and shows I have some sort of connection this palce going back through four generations over a hundred years, even though there is no obvious reason why my non-Cornish family should have been drawn here....Now since my wedding people have delighted in telling me things about the place... One friend told me they had heard the owner had been given large amounts of money by people from a now defunct base so they could hold completely private parties there overnight. My conspiracy friend has delighted in telling me that the St Mary line and St Michael line spiral around each other across the land and that the St Michael line is polluted and bad and favoured by Satanists. I do not agree, the line is not bad, it may have been put to selfish uses, but that is human, not the line itself...
However....
One night as I was on my way home I was casting out thoughts that I wanted to learn things, to know. A Voice answered and said 'we can show you everything'. Of course I was interested! I told me to go to ****. So later that evening, Little Dog and i went there. It was pitch dark as it was the New Moon. I made it to the top and sat on granite admiring the view.
Nothing happened. Well, not till I closed my eyes anyway... At once there was a circle of shadowy figures around me. And having seen them, I knew who these entities were who offered me knowledge, and power too. They were of Crowley's ilk. Crowley was intimately connected with Cornwall and while he may not have been one of these spirits, they were of his line. Not the sort I wish to have anything to do with. Not my path. not anything I wish to have in my life. So I politely declined and walked away.
And since then my path and learning has done nothing but speed up, but it a gentler, kinder direction, one full of heart and soul, that seeks to work with spirit, for it. Not to understand it and control it. But it does all make me wonder at the exact nature of my families connection with this place.... Why have we all been drawn here? and how strange that four generations of my family have all loved this place, hundreds of miles from where we lived....
For my part it is all about love and a connection to the land and to my ancestors. What drew them there I shall never know.
Home of my Heart
I grew up in an enchanted house. The house began as two one up, one down cottages for farm labourers. Over time the house grew and the two became one. Over 400 years old, with no foundations, it was a house intimately connected the environment around it. A huge old willow has grown so big that it's roots rest under the house, cradling it. As the tree moves and the seasons change and the earth moves, so does the house. In most places the walls are one brick thick and cracks appear and disappear, as does the chance to see light....
I grew up knowing the creak of every piece of wood. The house itself would sing to me as it settled and warmed up. I could tell where people were by the sounds the house made. From my bed I could 'see' people on the path to the front door by their reflections on my ceiling. Clematis grew in my window, water bubbled up through the stone floor after rain, and wind sang through the branches of the trees outside. Fire warmed the house and the kitchen was the heart.
I grew up climbing trees, walking barefoot and squelching clay mud through my toes, sitting under one of the huge lime trees in hot summers, or in the cool long grass of the orchard. I would lie on my back on the grass watching clouds or the bats dancing in the twilight. At night owls would sing me to sleep, hunting mice in the orchard. My parents for years have put large amounts of bird food out and watching Woodpeckers while washing up is a regular occurance.
Nothing could really hurt us there. Not that things were perfect but the bad stuff could not get in. Not really.
At College I had my things stolen one time, including a house key and my address. I told my parents and they changed the locks. A few weeks later they went on holiday leaving me in the house (I was 17 and my Mum had secretly, at least from my Dad anyway, arranged for my boyfriend to stay). When they returned my Dad found that the strand of barbed wire on the fence had been cut and pealed back. While I had been alone, the robbers had visited my home and found their keys did not fit. They obviously decided that it was not worth robbing as well....
Another time, I had a black thing following me for a time, which is an entire other story. When I went home I could feel it watching from the gate but it could not cross over. I understood intuitively from that time that that land was protected.
I also had my spiritual awakening on that land. A moment of such beauty as the rising rays of light shone through the empty grass seed heads in the field behind making the field glow with light. It was so very, very beautiful.....
My parents moved us in on my first birthday and now we have all moved on and they are alone there. They are in poor health and wish to move on as the responsibility of the house and gardens is becoming hard for them. I had not been home in a couple of years. Last year we went on holiday with them and this year they came here for the wedding. The thought of not getting to see the house one last time was unbearable.
Luckily for me it has not sold as yet and I was able to have one last Christmas there with my family and I am so very grateful for that.
In the garden there is a patch of ground that was the vegetable patch. it became neglected and was not mowed so that trees were able to start growing on it. I remember the first time we saw the twig above the grasses with a handful of distintive leaves. I watched that oak tree grow and it is a special friend to me. When I moved to Cornwall, I wrote my wishes down and buried them int he roots of that tree and they have come true, I found my soulmate. I also use that tree as the starting point for my journeying.
So last time I went drumming, for our second journey, we were asked to go to our special place and conenct with the spirits of that place. I was alarmed as i knew this would be hard for me and emotional, because of the house selling and lose of my heart home. This is what happened....
I wandered through the gardens away from the oak tree, unable to find someone. Eventually I found an old lady sat under one of the huge lime trees, knitting. To begin with I just cried in her lap and she stroked my hair. An utter outpouring of my grief at losing this place that has been so important and loved within my life.
In time we talked. She told me that it was time to let go and in time she sends all her children out into the world. That we no longer needed this place and it was time for someone else to benefit. That it was time F and I grew our own heart home and started work on building a place that would grow through the generations such as this one had. She said I could visit in spirit and she told me something would be waiting under the tree for me and explained that I should leave a toe nail and a finger nail, bound with my hair and touched by a drop of my blood there too.
Because I had already said Good Bye and dealt with much of the emotion, I was able to go home and enjoy the stay and do what needed to be done without it spoiling my visit. For this I am very grateful. My grief would have been a burden to my parents as this move is very hard for them too....
I went to the tree and could see nothing so I went away and came back a couple of days later. i was more determined to find something the second time. I could not see anything. Then I saw an old weathered snail shell but it was so fragile, i could not have taken it with me. So I stood. And then I saw it. How I could have missed it I have no idea.... It would have been there the first time too. A large black raggedy feather. Probably a Crow's feather as it has no white and no irridescence.
Now this made me smile.... Sometime ago, i discovered I have Crow ancestors, my Great Great Grandmother was called Crow. So when I had to setup a new password at work, Grandma Crow popped in to my head. except I found myself talking to Grandma Crow once or twice and she sounded like the spirit of my home. Grandma Crone is one of her names too and she is very much the Crone and of the land. I met her husband too. A man who speaks with his eyes not words, who says just as much with a glance and a nod of his head between the fall sof his hammer as he works on hot metal....
One evening I was sat with my family and my Mum started talking about a couple who are their best friends. They recently moved and the wife was finding it very hard to let go of the house so she had a shaman come to the house to work with the spirits there. It sold soon after. (don't you just love messages from spirit?). My Dad was dismissive but I told my Mum I had been sending out anti-selling vibes as I was desperate to visit once more but now I would be sending out selling vibes.
I made my little bundle, although I had trouble with the blood. I don't bleed easily and I couldn't cut myself. So I cheated and got my Mum to do it! I got her to test my blood sugar (she is diabetic) and even with her special device, she had to have more than one go to get a tiny drop of blood... There was enough to smear on the little bundle I held hidden under the finger of my other hand.
I found each parent in turn and hugged them and had a brief conversation about letting go of the house and they both replied that they were ready to go. (Although by Dad sounded more grudging!). i took the bundle outside to the tree and left it there asking the spirits to relinquish my families guardianship of the land there and thanking them. I asked them to help my family to find it's new home quickly and that their new guardians would be called to the land there soon and be good guardians.
As I walked the garden one last time I spoke with Grandma Crow and this is what she said.
I taught you to walk on my earth
You grew breathing my air and I sang you to sleep
I bade you drink of my soul and strength
You sat by my fire and I warmed your heart
I feel blessed that this will never be Good Bye for me but I am unsure what role I have taken on with regards to that land. But that comes into another one of the posts I have to write today or over the next few days..... And Grandma Crow is my friend and is always there for a chat. Sometimes I hear the clack of her knitting needles as I feed the Crows at work and they peck up the bird seed....
I grew up knowing the creak of every piece of wood. The house itself would sing to me as it settled and warmed up. I could tell where people were by the sounds the house made. From my bed I could 'see' people on the path to the front door by their reflections on my ceiling. Clematis grew in my window, water bubbled up through the stone floor after rain, and wind sang through the branches of the trees outside. Fire warmed the house and the kitchen was the heart.
I grew up climbing trees, walking barefoot and squelching clay mud through my toes, sitting under one of the huge lime trees in hot summers, or in the cool long grass of the orchard. I would lie on my back on the grass watching clouds or the bats dancing in the twilight. At night owls would sing me to sleep, hunting mice in the orchard. My parents for years have put large amounts of bird food out and watching Woodpeckers while washing up is a regular occurance.
Nothing could really hurt us there. Not that things were perfect but the bad stuff could not get in. Not really.
At College I had my things stolen one time, including a house key and my address. I told my parents and they changed the locks. A few weeks later they went on holiday leaving me in the house (I was 17 and my Mum had secretly, at least from my Dad anyway, arranged for my boyfriend to stay). When they returned my Dad found that the strand of barbed wire on the fence had been cut and pealed back. While I had been alone, the robbers had visited my home and found their keys did not fit. They obviously decided that it was not worth robbing as well....
Another time, I had a black thing following me for a time, which is an entire other story. When I went home I could feel it watching from the gate but it could not cross over. I understood intuitively from that time that that land was protected.
I also had my spiritual awakening on that land. A moment of such beauty as the rising rays of light shone through the empty grass seed heads in the field behind making the field glow with light. It was so very, very beautiful.....
My parents moved us in on my first birthday and now we have all moved on and they are alone there. They are in poor health and wish to move on as the responsibility of the house and gardens is becoming hard for them. I had not been home in a couple of years. Last year we went on holiday with them and this year they came here for the wedding. The thought of not getting to see the house one last time was unbearable.
Luckily for me it has not sold as yet and I was able to have one last Christmas there with my family and I am so very grateful for that.
In the garden there is a patch of ground that was the vegetable patch. it became neglected and was not mowed so that trees were able to start growing on it. I remember the first time we saw the twig above the grasses with a handful of distintive leaves. I watched that oak tree grow and it is a special friend to me. When I moved to Cornwall, I wrote my wishes down and buried them int he roots of that tree and they have come true, I found my soulmate. I also use that tree as the starting point for my journeying.
So last time I went drumming, for our second journey, we were asked to go to our special place and conenct with the spirits of that place. I was alarmed as i knew this would be hard for me and emotional, because of the house selling and lose of my heart home. This is what happened....
I wandered through the gardens away from the oak tree, unable to find someone. Eventually I found an old lady sat under one of the huge lime trees, knitting. To begin with I just cried in her lap and she stroked my hair. An utter outpouring of my grief at losing this place that has been so important and loved within my life.
In time we talked. She told me that it was time to let go and in time she sends all her children out into the world. That we no longer needed this place and it was time for someone else to benefit. That it was time F and I grew our own heart home and started work on building a place that would grow through the generations such as this one had. She said I could visit in spirit and she told me something would be waiting under the tree for me and explained that I should leave a toe nail and a finger nail, bound with my hair and touched by a drop of my blood there too.
Because I had already said Good Bye and dealt with much of the emotion, I was able to go home and enjoy the stay and do what needed to be done without it spoiling my visit. For this I am very grateful. My grief would have been a burden to my parents as this move is very hard for them too....
I went to the tree and could see nothing so I went away and came back a couple of days later. i was more determined to find something the second time. I could not see anything. Then I saw an old weathered snail shell but it was so fragile, i could not have taken it with me. So I stood. And then I saw it. How I could have missed it I have no idea.... It would have been there the first time too. A large black raggedy feather. Probably a Crow's feather as it has no white and no irridescence.
Now this made me smile.... Sometime ago, i discovered I have Crow ancestors, my Great Great Grandmother was called Crow. So when I had to setup a new password at work, Grandma Crow popped in to my head. except I found myself talking to Grandma Crow once or twice and she sounded like the spirit of my home. Grandma Crone is one of her names too and she is very much the Crone and of the land. I met her husband too. A man who speaks with his eyes not words, who says just as much with a glance and a nod of his head between the fall sof his hammer as he works on hot metal....
One evening I was sat with my family and my Mum started talking about a couple who are their best friends. They recently moved and the wife was finding it very hard to let go of the house so she had a shaman come to the house to work with the spirits there. It sold soon after. (don't you just love messages from spirit?). My Dad was dismissive but I told my Mum I had been sending out anti-selling vibes as I was desperate to visit once more but now I would be sending out selling vibes.
I made my little bundle, although I had trouble with the blood. I don't bleed easily and I couldn't cut myself. So I cheated and got my Mum to do it! I got her to test my blood sugar (she is diabetic) and even with her special device, she had to have more than one go to get a tiny drop of blood... There was enough to smear on the little bundle I held hidden under the finger of my other hand.
I found each parent in turn and hugged them and had a brief conversation about letting go of the house and they both replied that they were ready to go. (Although by Dad sounded more grudging!). i took the bundle outside to the tree and left it there asking the spirits to relinquish my families guardianship of the land there and thanking them. I asked them to help my family to find it's new home quickly and that their new guardians would be called to the land there soon and be good guardians.
As I walked the garden one last time I spoke with Grandma Crow and this is what she said.
I taught you to walk on my earth
You grew breathing my air and I sang you to sleep
I bade you drink of my soul and strength
You sat by my fire and I warmed your heart
I feel blessed that this will never be Good Bye for me but I am unsure what role I have taken on with regards to that land. But that comes into another one of the posts I have to write today or over the next few days..... And Grandma Crow is my friend and is always there for a chat. Sometimes I hear the clack of her knitting needles as I feed the Crows at work and they peck up the bird seed....
Saturday, 12 November 2011
Remembering
I feel that bearing witness is an important thing. The stories of the lives of those who went before us should be told. I have started to learn many of them and find them endlessly fascinating. Here are a few. Some direct ancestors, some a side step away....
JRD
JRD was a career soldier who left Scotland to join the 72nd Highlanders and thoroughly left his past behind him. He served in Ireland and was sent from there to the Crimean where he survived Sebastopol. He progressed to the level of Sergeant and continued to serve, heading off to India where he survived the Siege of Kotar and the Battle of Burnass. He led a full life and inspired his sons in to a wide range of careers, including one who became a Drillmaster.
TC
TC was very poor, an agricultural labourer at the time of the Industrial Revolution. He lived with his brother and sister and all three had trouble with the law. His older brother was without work for 17 weeks one time and survived three days on one penny's worth of bread. He was so hungry he stole a loaf and served one month. TC himself stole and assaulted a Police Officer. TC joined the local militia, formed to cover duties left vacant by those serving in the Crimean, probably because he was desperate for the money offered. He later tried to desert and was caught and sentenced to a month. A book on this militia said that some had been illegaly signed up and managed to get them released. I am not sure if he was released or went with the unit to Ireland.
TGC
TGC served in the First World War. He joined the Reserve at the age of 17 in 1912. He became a driver and served in France, Salonika and Egypt. He was obviously good at what he did and enjoyed it as he stayed in the forces after the war .
ABC
TGC's younger brother was too young to fight in the First World War but did join up for the Second. He had a badly broken leg and was not fit for overseas duty and was probably a little too old for it as well. He also served as a driver, based in London.
POJ
POJ served in the Second World War and was posted to India. Apparently he wa sin the Pay Corp and also helped build roads.
OEJ
OEJ served in the First World War but I have no idea what he did as the image qulity s poor and I can not make out a thing!
EVJ
EVJ Served in France during the First World War. He survived a cun shot wound to the back and returned home soon after. He was serving as an instructor and was one of three people at his camp trained to make bombs, the others being a Fitter and a Captain. Unfortunately the fitter one day forgot to drill a fuse hole before putting together a bomb. He put the bomb down to get the drill but the bomb rolled off the table and exploded. The Fitter and the Captain survived. EVJ took two days to die.
I am sure there are more tales I could add to this list but all of these people should be remembered and I am rememering them as few of them would have anyone who rememebrs them alive left living.
JRD
JRD was a career soldier who left Scotland to join the 72nd Highlanders and thoroughly left his past behind him. He served in Ireland and was sent from there to the Crimean where he survived Sebastopol. He progressed to the level of Sergeant and continued to serve, heading off to India where he survived the Siege of Kotar and the Battle of Burnass. He led a full life and inspired his sons in to a wide range of careers, including one who became a Drillmaster.
TC
TC was very poor, an agricultural labourer at the time of the Industrial Revolution. He lived with his brother and sister and all three had trouble with the law. His older brother was without work for 17 weeks one time and survived three days on one penny's worth of bread. He was so hungry he stole a loaf and served one month. TC himself stole and assaulted a Police Officer. TC joined the local militia, formed to cover duties left vacant by those serving in the Crimean, probably because he was desperate for the money offered. He later tried to desert and was caught and sentenced to a month. A book on this militia said that some had been illegaly signed up and managed to get them released. I am not sure if he was released or went with the unit to Ireland.
TGC
TGC served in the First World War. He joined the Reserve at the age of 17 in 1912. He became a driver and served in France, Salonika and Egypt. He was obviously good at what he did and enjoyed it as he stayed in the forces after the war .
ABC
TGC's younger brother was too young to fight in the First World War but did join up for the Second. He had a badly broken leg and was not fit for overseas duty and was probably a little too old for it as well. He also served as a driver, based in London.
POJ
POJ served in the Second World War and was posted to India. Apparently he wa sin the Pay Corp and also helped build roads.
OEJ
OEJ served in the First World War but I have no idea what he did as the image qulity s poor and I can not make out a thing!
EVJ
EVJ Served in France during the First World War. He survived a cun shot wound to the back and returned home soon after. He was serving as an instructor and was one of three people at his camp trained to make bombs, the others being a Fitter and a Captain. Unfortunately the fitter one day forgot to drill a fuse hole before putting together a bomb. He put the bomb down to get the drill but the bomb rolled off the table and exploded. The Fitter and the Captain survived. EVJ took two days to die.
I am sure there are more tales I could add to this list but all of these people should be remembered and I am rememering them as few of them would have anyone who rememebrs them alive left living.
Friday, 4 November 2011
Time Comes Loop
I don't know how many months thos painted pallets have been sat in our bedroom waiting to be put together... Must be getting on for six months. They have become features in their own right, festooned with clothes and other accoutrements.
F noticed last weekend that with the change in weather and our bed currently being against an outside wall with no headboard, that our breathing and sweating is causing condensation to form between the bed and the wall. We have promised ourselves that the bed will go up this weekend and we will sort the bedroom out.
I think the tide has turned now Samhain is done with. It needs to have turned because there are things we have been putting off but need to accomplish. Maybe I should right a list... Maybe I should try not to get sucked into family trees and the past.
If I won the lottery I would spend a fair bit of time researching. there are so many records out there. A lot is on the internet these days but if you can go to local records offices you can find out so very much more and I love it..... It brings history alive. It also explains things within my family in some cases. Events that happened generations past do rumble on down through the generations, whether we see it or not.
My Great Great Great Grandfather was a little on the dodgy side, he served time for breakig hedges, stealing wood and stealing hurdles. He had three children. The oldest, J also served time and for more serious things than his Father too. Assaults, maliciously attacking doors and then heartbreakingly, in 1851 he was sentenced to one month for stealing a loaf of bread. Much information is available on this, including his short defence. He was hungry, he had had no work for 17 weeks and had survived the last three days on 1 penny's worth of bread. Viva the Industrial Revolution.....
J lived with his sister and brother and they obviously did their best to look after each other, but even so. S was the next oldest and she had an illegitimate child. I am not sure if it was the baby's father or someone else but she set fire to this man's house, with him and several other people in it....
The younger brother, my great great grandfather was a rat catcher and not surprisingly was also in trouble with the law. He even has his photo attached to his records.... He took the money offered to join the local militia. The militias were being raised to cover the duties at home that the regular forces could not complete as they were fighting in the Crimean. He deserted and was sentenced. However, there is a book that says some were recruited illegaly and had to be released. Some of these however later took a second financial bribe and signed back up again. I would loe to know where he fit in in all of this and one day I shall find the appropriate records.... See where he did go and what he did do. i bet he only signed up through hunger as well...
My Great Great Grandfather's children all put him down as various professions on their marriage certificates - the most amusing being gamekeeper! The though of a gamekeeper keeping rats tickles my sense of humour! They all left and bettered themselves and my Great Great gained a trade, a wife and a whole bunch of kids. He obviously knew he was ill before he died - his eldest son requested discharge from the Army six months before he died. He also obviously extracted promises from my Grandfather. Look after your sisters, it is your duty to do right by them, let them follow their hearts and marry as they will and when they will.... They did. My Grandfather was not free himself to follow his own desires for many a year and did not marry until he was in his forties.
My Grandfather died himself when my Father was only just old enough to take on the business and would have known he was dying. I bet he asked my Dad to look after his Mother and my Dad did, although thankfully she didn't live with us! And my Dad to this day looks after all of us. He works hard and does his best to provide.
My family has for generations looked after everyone as best it can, brothers and sisters, down through the generations, even those too poor to even really look after themselves.
F noticed last weekend that with the change in weather and our bed currently being against an outside wall with no headboard, that our breathing and sweating is causing condensation to form between the bed and the wall. We have promised ourselves that the bed will go up this weekend and we will sort the bedroom out.
I think the tide has turned now Samhain is done with. It needs to have turned because there are things we have been putting off but need to accomplish. Maybe I should right a list... Maybe I should try not to get sucked into family trees and the past.
If I won the lottery I would spend a fair bit of time researching. there are so many records out there. A lot is on the internet these days but if you can go to local records offices you can find out so very much more and I love it..... It brings history alive. It also explains things within my family in some cases. Events that happened generations past do rumble on down through the generations, whether we see it or not.
My Great Great Great Grandfather was a little on the dodgy side, he served time for breakig hedges, stealing wood and stealing hurdles. He had three children. The oldest, J also served time and for more serious things than his Father too. Assaults, maliciously attacking doors and then heartbreakingly, in 1851 he was sentenced to one month for stealing a loaf of bread. Much information is available on this, including his short defence. He was hungry, he had had no work for 17 weeks and had survived the last three days on 1 penny's worth of bread. Viva the Industrial Revolution.....
J lived with his sister and brother and they obviously did their best to look after each other, but even so. S was the next oldest and she had an illegitimate child. I am not sure if it was the baby's father or someone else but she set fire to this man's house, with him and several other people in it....
The younger brother, my great great grandfather was a rat catcher and not surprisingly was also in trouble with the law. He even has his photo attached to his records.... He took the money offered to join the local militia. The militias were being raised to cover the duties at home that the regular forces could not complete as they were fighting in the Crimean. He deserted and was sentenced. However, there is a book that says some were recruited illegaly and had to be released. Some of these however later took a second financial bribe and signed back up again. I would loe to know where he fit in in all of this and one day I shall find the appropriate records.... See where he did go and what he did do. i bet he only signed up through hunger as well...
My Great Great Grandfather's children all put him down as various professions on their marriage certificates - the most amusing being gamekeeper! The though of a gamekeeper keeping rats tickles my sense of humour! They all left and bettered themselves and my Great Great gained a trade, a wife and a whole bunch of kids. He obviously knew he was ill before he died - his eldest son requested discharge from the Army six months before he died. He also obviously extracted promises from my Grandfather. Look after your sisters, it is your duty to do right by them, let them follow their hearts and marry as they will and when they will.... They did. My Grandfather was not free himself to follow his own desires for many a year and did not marry until he was in his forties.
My Grandfather died himself when my Father was only just old enough to take on the business and would have known he was dying. I bet he asked my Dad to look after his Mother and my Dad did, although thankfully she didn't live with us! And my Dad to this day looks after all of us. He works hard and does his best to provide.
My family has for generations looked after everyone as best it can, brothers and sisters, down through the generations, even those too poor to even really look after themselves.
Monday, 24 October 2011
Family Feud
I guess every family has one, or two, or maybe even more, if you go back far enough. This one concerns a Great Grandfather (D) and his two sons, E the Elder and Y the Younger. D had a trade and he worked in that trade for most of his life but at some point he bought the business he worked for. He had two sons and many daughters. Instead of leaving it to the eldest son, he left it to the younger son with the expectation that his son would support the remaining daughters and look after them.
This should be the end of the story, but of course it isn't. E was bitter about this and I think one or more of the older sisters may have supported him, sisters who had left home and made their own way in life and stood to gain nothing, and lose nothing. Not surprsingly the different branches of the family went their own ways until I was a teenager, when we got back in contact and arranged to meet.
I remember this meeting through a fog of time. There was odd undercurrents and the bitterness was still apparent, having been passed down the generations. Odd how people see things, the business was as much a burden as a blessing at times. It was nursed through recessions and required long, long hours. Often to see my Dad, we had to go to work. He is retired now, but all that hard graft has taken it's toll and he has never really had the health to fully enjoy his retirement.
Tracing my family tree has explained a few things though. I can kind of understand why E was so bitter. You see E was in the Army. In 1911 he was an Errand Boy at the tender age of 17 probably working for the same company as his fatherand living at home. In 1912 however he was called to join the reserves and was now in a different trade, probably not anything to do with the company his father worked for.
Later on he was called up and became a soldier, a driver and in 1916 he married and was no longer living at his family home. In fact he must have moved out some time between 1912 and 1916 because the lady he married lived on the same street as he now lived on. So he was no longer living at home and probably no longer contributing to his parents and sisters support.
he fought the good fight around the world and actually went career. He was obviously good at what he did because his army records clearly show him being transferred from unit to unit as they were disbanded at the end of the war. He must have enjoyed it too.
In 1919 however he left the army, with a free discharge at his own request. Later that year his Father died. He had probably received word of his Fathers ill health and returned home. He probably expected to inherit the family business as the eldest son. His Father did differently though. He left it to Y who was only 17.
Y had been too young to go to war and stayed home, probably worked with his Father and been steady and hard working. He knew the business and lived at home with no wife. I can image D extracted some promises from Y about taking care of his sisters, having them life at home and not sending them off to work as servants etc and letting them marry in their own time. E would not have been a good bet for such assurances - he had already been managing a second home and had a wife and he had been away from the family for many years and did not know the business as well. I suspect the moving out and working in a different trade would have caused rows too.... A hard choice....
No wonder E was bitter - he had given all for his country and sacrificed his career for his family and now he had been cheated by a little brother....
But the thing is, Y did not marry until he was in his 40s. The younger sisters stayed home and they all married in their own good time. He obviously looked after them. They obviously felt no bitterness about how things worked out - one branch of the family is still good friends to this day and some of the members of this branch were at my tiny wedding. The youngest sister was someone we used to visit when I was little, but I remember very little about her.
But I feel like I understand now, a lot better.... I wonder if E would have done any different if he had had to make that choice?
This should be the end of the story, but of course it isn't. E was bitter about this and I think one or more of the older sisters may have supported him, sisters who had left home and made their own way in life and stood to gain nothing, and lose nothing. Not surprsingly the different branches of the family went their own ways until I was a teenager, when we got back in contact and arranged to meet.
I remember this meeting through a fog of time. There was odd undercurrents and the bitterness was still apparent, having been passed down the generations. Odd how people see things, the business was as much a burden as a blessing at times. It was nursed through recessions and required long, long hours. Often to see my Dad, we had to go to work. He is retired now, but all that hard graft has taken it's toll and he has never really had the health to fully enjoy his retirement.
Tracing my family tree has explained a few things though. I can kind of understand why E was so bitter. You see E was in the Army. In 1911 he was an Errand Boy at the tender age of 17 probably working for the same company as his fatherand living at home. In 1912 however he was called to join the reserves and was now in a different trade, probably not anything to do with the company his father worked for.
Later on he was called up and became a soldier, a driver and in 1916 he married and was no longer living at his family home. In fact he must have moved out some time between 1912 and 1916 because the lady he married lived on the same street as he now lived on. So he was no longer living at home and probably no longer contributing to his parents and sisters support.
he fought the good fight around the world and actually went career. He was obviously good at what he did because his army records clearly show him being transferred from unit to unit as they were disbanded at the end of the war. He must have enjoyed it too.
In 1919 however he left the army, with a free discharge at his own request. Later that year his Father died. He had probably received word of his Fathers ill health and returned home. He probably expected to inherit the family business as the eldest son. His Father did differently though. He left it to Y who was only 17.
Y had been too young to go to war and stayed home, probably worked with his Father and been steady and hard working. He knew the business and lived at home with no wife. I can image D extracted some promises from Y about taking care of his sisters, having them life at home and not sending them off to work as servants etc and letting them marry in their own time. E would not have been a good bet for such assurances - he had already been managing a second home and had a wife and he had been away from the family for many years and did not know the business as well. I suspect the moving out and working in a different trade would have caused rows too.... A hard choice....
No wonder E was bitter - he had given all for his country and sacrificed his career for his family and now he had been cheated by a little brother....
But the thing is, Y did not marry until he was in his 40s. The younger sisters stayed home and they all married in their own good time. He obviously looked after them. They obviously felt no bitterness about how things worked out - one branch of the family is still good friends to this day and some of the members of this branch were at my tiny wedding. The youngest sister was someone we used to visit when I was little, but I remember very little about her.
But I feel like I understand now, a lot better.... I wonder if E would have done any different if he had had to make that choice?
Thursday, 15 September 2011
Circle Closing
I am in an odd place with regards to this blog right now. I have not left it, but I am in flux. I have had a single focus for so long that I feel a little focus-less right now. Normally my multiple interests wax and wane independently and there is always something. And there is things, but there is only so much I can write about my ancestors right now.
The infuriating search to try and discover more of my forebear who left some random part of Scotland, became a soldier, married a woman from East Anglia while in Ireland before maybe (a huge maybe based on dates) fighting in the Crimean, who may have then gotten his wife pregnant the second he returned to her in Ireland, staying there long enough to have that child born in Ireland before touring the country with kids being born all over the place.
*sigh* There was a fire in Ireland many years ago which destroyed most of their records including all their censuses. I only know about the marriage through others work and have no proof of even that. And junior was apparently born in some random part of ireland he wishes to make no reference to. I can't even work out what part of the forces my ancestor was in......
Anyway, so yes I have stuff going on. I am also planning and formulating things. I intend to spend a lot more time honouring my health and my body and I will have a lot more to say on that. I am still intending to attend my first ever shamanic drumming circle. I still have all the wedding stuff to finalise and to post here as well as post to individuals (including my family). I have a lot I will be writing about, just not much I feel the urge to write about now....
Also, this is the end of the year for me.... My own personal year. My birthday approaches and this always seems to be a time of gentle closure / rapid new growth. So yes lots going on and this blog will surely see it......
The infuriating search to try and discover more of my forebear who left some random part of Scotland, became a soldier, married a woman from East Anglia while in Ireland before maybe (a huge maybe based on dates) fighting in the Crimean, who may have then gotten his wife pregnant the second he returned to her in Ireland, staying there long enough to have that child born in Ireland before touring the country with kids being born all over the place.
*sigh* There was a fire in Ireland many years ago which destroyed most of their records including all their censuses. I only know about the marriage through others work and have no proof of even that. And junior was apparently born in some random part of ireland he wishes to make no reference to. I can't even work out what part of the forces my ancestor was in......
Anyway, so yes I have stuff going on. I am also planning and formulating things. I intend to spend a lot more time honouring my health and my body and I will have a lot more to say on that. I am still intending to attend my first ever shamanic drumming circle. I still have all the wedding stuff to finalise and to post here as well as post to individuals (including my family). I have a lot I will be writing about, just not much I feel the urge to write about now....
Also, this is the end of the year for me.... My own personal year. My birthday approaches and this always seems to be a time of gentle closure / rapid new growth. So yes lots going on and this blog will surely see it......
Saturday, 10 September 2011
Digging in the Dirt (and planting seeds)
Life moves on and the wheel keeps turning whether I am here or not. Often, my absence here means something has grabbed my interest and this is definitely true right now....
I signed up to Ancestry and started tracing my family tree. Oh how fascinating!
My Dad's Dad's side is not too tricky, an unusual surname and a helping had in the form of a pretty good idea of first names as my Dad has already put in a lot of work on this. Eventually I will get his tree in the post and that will help even more. I have already found things he didn't know though - finding where a lady has gotten married can be tricky without national searches...
My Dad's Mum's side has not even gotten a look in yet.... but it wil...
My Mum's Mum's side is what I have been looking at most recently and is proving to be fascinating but tricky. My Great great great Grandfather was from Scotland and he suddenly appears in the part of the country the family then stuck to through generations. Unfortunately he has not put which part of Scotland on any census. To add to the difficulties but also to make him more interesting, he appears to have been a soldier and it looks as if he was posted to Ireland where he married my great great great Grandma, then a few years later had my Great great grandfather in Ireland before touring all over the place. They eventually settled in the family location, which is where his wife was from originally. So how did they meet? Why did she go to Ireland as an unmarried person and then stay there? I believe the sudden marriage and then delay before the first child is down to the Crimean War, they married just before he left but she did not get pregnant until he returned. I feel an urge to start an interest in military history of the time..... Maybe I can deduce some stuff.....
My Mum's Dad's side has been fascinating but tricky. The paternal branch is just impossible! They moved around and have a common name and some things appear to have happened so they just jump and then they can not be plucked out from all the others of the same name.... but the maternal branch.... very fascinating! My great great grandfather was a commercial traveller / manager / office speciality, whatever that all adds up to, but he did travel, he even went to Chicago, but I have no idea why.... My great great great Grandma was it seems of mixed English and French descent and hails from Guernsey....
So you never know what you are going to find for sure and it is addictive.....
As well as all this, i came down with a cold. Last night I was craving hot comfort food so I stewed pork belly with tomatoes, onions and corn, flavoured with sun dried tomatoes, porcini mushrooms and chipototles. It was lovely and it burned and i feel better for it.
A friend found this great idea called Graze.com where they send you four punnets of natural foods to graze on, randomly selected from their range according to certain options and likes and dislikes etc. I love this idea and hope it might help me little... I have ordered my first box and sent a gift one to my Mum as well. Anyone else in the UK wanting to try, let me know, I have a promo code I can email....
The magpies are doing well. befor ethe wedding they had been looking scraggly and their feathers were a mess, with a great ring of them missig round the neck. I was even worried they might not survive the winter! I returned though to find their moulting complete and they are resplendent in their winter plummage now and happy to wait by my car for the odd snack as normal.
The wedding seems to have seen the last of the Summer warmth. Autumn has come crashing in with a chill in the air. My bug has left me feeling cold and right now I feel out of sync. My body too tired from the wedding to keep up with the sudden change. I shall catch up.
Oh and I found a website entitled Society for Shamanic Practitioners. It only lists seven drumming circles for the whole of the UK. There is one in Cornwall and I am really hoping it is my end.... I have enquired... I think this would be a very good thing for me....
Also thinking of setting up a blog just for my dreams....
I signed up to Ancestry and started tracing my family tree. Oh how fascinating!
My Dad's Dad's side is not too tricky, an unusual surname and a helping had in the form of a pretty good idea of first names as my Dad has already put in a lot of work on this. Eventually I will get his tree in the post and that will help even more. I have already found things he didn't know though - finding where a lady has gotten married can be tricky without national searches...
My Dad's Mum's side has not even gotten a look in yet.... but it wil...
My Mum's Mum's side is what I have been looking at most recently and is proving to be fascinating but tricky. My Great great great Grandfather was from Scotland and he suddenly appears in the part of the country the family then stuck to through generations. Unfortunately he has not put which part of Scotland on any census. To add to the difficulties but also to make him more interesting, he appears to have been a soldier and it looks as if he was posted to Ireland where he married my great great great Grandma, then a few years later had my Great great grandfather in Ireland before touring all over the place. They eventually settled in the family location, which is where his wife was from originally. So how did they meet? Why did she go to Ireland as an unmarried person and then stay there? I believe the sudden marriage and then delay before the first child is down to the Crimean War, they married just before he left but she did not get pregnant until he returned. I feel an urge to start an interest in military history of the time..... Maybe I can deduce some stuff.....
My Mum's Dad's side has been fascinating but tricky. The paternal branch is just impossible! They moved around and have a common name and some things appear to have happened so they just jump and then they can not be plucked out from all the others of the same name.... but the maternal branch.... very fascinating! My great great grandfather was a commercial traveller / manager / office speciality, whatever that all adds up to, but he did travel, he even went to Chicago, but I have no idea why.... My great great great Grandma was it seems of mixed English and French descent and hails from Guernsey....
So you never know what you are going to find for sure and it is addictive.....
As well as all this, i came down with a cold. Last night I was craving hot comfort food so I stewed pork belly with tomatoes, onions and corn, flavoured with sun dried tomatoes, porcini mushrooms and chipototles. It was lovely and it burned and i feel better for it.
A friend found this great idea called Graze.com where they send you four punnets of natural foods to graze on, randomly selected from their range according to certain options and likes and dislikes etc. I love this idea and hope it might help me little... I have ordered my first box and sent a gift one to my Mum as well. Anyone else in the UK wanting to try, let me know, I have a promo code I can email....
The magpies are doing well. befor ethe wedding they had been looking scraggly and their feathers were a mess, with a great ring of them missig round the neck. I was even worried they might not survive the winter! I returned though to find their moulting complete and they are resplendent in their winter plummage now and happy to wait by my car for the odd snack as normal.
The wedding seems to have seen the last of the Summer warmth. Autumn has come crashing in with a chill in the air. My bug has left me feeling cold and right now I feel out of sync. My body too tired from the wedding to keep up with the sudden change. I shall catch up.
Oh and I found a website entitled Society for Shamanic Practitioners. It only lists seven drumming circles for the whole of the UK. There is one in Cornwall and I am really hoping it is my end.... I have enquired... I think this would be a very good thing for me....
Also thinking of setting up a blog just for my dreams....
Sunday, 21 August 2011
Meet the Ancestors
I thought I ought to post all the ancestral wedding photos, just in the sake of fairness! There is quite a gap in time between some of the photos....
If / when Fand I are lucky enough to have kids, these will be their ancestors
Saturday, 13 November 2010
Sometimes I find the internet very furstrating. Sometimes you find a fascinating subject and a snippet of information but there is no internet trail to help you learn more. Instead all you find is a barrage of marketing info.
I decided to read a little more about the Picts. The lovely Mel has a fascination with them so I thought I would learn more. I guess specifically because I have a thing about blue hair and I wondered if their liking for dying themselves blue included their hair to. It seems scientific opinion has changed and they no longer think they used woad but copper or iron based pigments.
Woad took me to Pict and Pict took me here (got to love Wikipedia). Painted pebbles.... ooooh! This caused an um in my soul. I have been thinking of painting pebbles recently and here I am discovering that some of my ancestors would have used them for,.... well something.
I have an ancestor who left the Cairngorms for work In East Anglia, dropped the Mc from his surname and married a local farmers daughter. We Brits may have been a tribal folk but those tribes have long since forgotten their boundaries and moved around. A hodge podge. But knowing I have Scottish blood in my veins pretty much ensures I had at least one Pictish ancestor.
I also have Welsh and a good deal of fenland blood (or thereabouts) on both sides of my tree. Maybe this is why I love swamps, mires, meres, bogs, marsh, willow carr.... any of those landscaapes which are gently half water, half land....?
Anyway, the pebbles. They suspect they were used as charms. They have lines, wiggly and otherwise and dots in the main but also pentacles, crescents, circles and triangles. I failed to find out much else except that some work has been done on these symbols and there is now a believe that these are the writing of the Picts, a tribe believed to be illiterate.
The charm thing seems particularly likely as they have been used as such in this area in living memory.... Soooo cold stones or charm stones, kinda interesting!
A slightly better search shows that a charm stone has been found and registered by the Cornwall Archeaological Unit. This kind of suggests that their use was widespread across the British Isles but was more persistent in Scotland - maybe because of the link to language there?
I found an interesting old book that had been scanned and placed on the internet here. It seems there was a history of curing stones that would be placed in water and on drinkign the water the patient would be healed. Apparently they were also used in Wales (did I mention I also have Welsh ancestry?) and called Adder Beads or Snake Stones.
I might have to paint some stones, rather than just think about it....
I decided to read a little more about the Picts. The lovely Mel has a fascination with them so I thought I would learn more. I guess specifically because I have a thing about blue hair and I wondered if their liking for dying themselves blue included their hair to. It seems scientific opinion has changed and they no longer think they used woad but copper or iron based pigments.
Woad took me to Pict and Pict took me here (got to love Wikipedia). Painted pebbles.... ooooh! This caused an um in my soul. I have been thinking of painting pebbles recently and here I am discovering that some of my ancestors would have used them for,.... well something.
I have an ancestor who left the Cairngorms for work In East Anglia, dropped the Mc from his surname and married a local farmers daughter. We Brits may have been a tribal folk but those tribes have long since forgotten their boundaries and moved around. A hodge podge. But knowing I have Scottish blood in my veins pretty much ensures I had at least one Pictish ancestor.
I also have Welsh and a good deal of fenland blood (or thereabouts) on both sides of my tree. Maybe this is why I love swamps, mires, meres, bogs, marsh, willow carr.... any of those landscaapes which are gently half water, half land....?
Anyway, the pebbles. They suspect they were used as charms. They have lines, wiggly and otherwise and dots in the main but also pentacles, crescents, circles and triangles. I failed to find out much else except that some work has been done on these symbols and there is now a believe that these are the writing of the Picts, a tribe believed to be illiterate.
The charm thing seems particularly likely as they have been used as such in this area in living memory.... Soooo cold stones or charm stones, kinda interesting!
A slightly better search shows that a charm stone has been found and registered by the Cornwall Archeaological Unit. This kind of suggests that their use was widespread across the British Isles but was more persistent in Scotland - maybe because of the link to language there?
I found an interesting old book that had been scanned and placed on the internet here. It seems there was a history of curing stones that would be placed in water and on drinkign the water the patient would be healed. Apparently they were also used in Wales (did I mention I also have Welsh ancestry?) and called Adder Beads or Snake Stones.
I might have to paint some stones, rather than just think about it....
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