I have always been fascinated by ghosts. We would go on holiday to the Lakes as a kid every year and I remember I had a couple of books on the ghosts of the Lakes. I remember reading these stories and revelling in the unknown and that feeling of fear and mystery. I am not sure this connection of fear has been a good thing for me!
My fascination has continued, sometimes mixed up with scepticism in varying amounts. I love films and stories about them. Medium was one of favourite series and I really enjoyed the earlier series of Ghost Whisperer. Rent-a-ghost was one of my favourite TV programmes as kid. I loved Ghost and The Others.
I attended a spiritualist church for a while a few years back and I found it fascinating, although I struggled a little with the Christian aspects of it. No spirits ever came to talk to me, except a very confused old Roman who I don't remember having an awful lot to say... One day I stopped going.
My growing experiences with journeying and the stories of my teachers show that ghosts are real and they are out there. And as much as I am fascinated by them, they terrify me. I don't want to see them, or hear them or speak to them because ghosts do bad things. The thing is though that ghost is such a broad term.
Lisa teaches that a ghost is a spirit with unresolved issues. They may or may not be an ancestor. She has a lot to say about ghosts and many experiences with them and her blog is full of stories. There are a lot of distinctions, guides may be spirits but they are not bogged down with their unresolve.
I have been learning recently about my fear of ghosts and how I block them. I have been stubbornly digging my heals in about going to a graveyard and opening myself up to the stories in the bones of the dead around me. I am with out a doubt scared.
Then I bumped into the lady I used to go to the church with and we had one of our first chats in years. She informed me in no uncertain terms that I had without a doubt been very much blocking all my spirits from reaching me when I used to go to the church.
In recent times I think I am slowly reaching out a little. Last year my Gran, helped me find a beautiful new strap for the watch she received from her Mother for her 21st birthday so I could wear it to my own wedding. This healed much between us.
More recently I have had issues with an ancestral ghost. He wants his story known and I have done a lot of research into him, he seems to be giving me some space at the moment, because he can see I have commited to his story.
At a recent drum circle we connected with our ancestors and journeyed to find an Ancestral Spirit Guide. I found one called Crow, I don't feel able to share his first name. Several generations back, one of his descendants married into my family. We even chatted about my ghost a little. Crow is definately not a ghost!
Maybe I feel a little safer now I am collecting helpers, my family of totems, an ancestral spirit guide, a guide who resides in the upper world with Big Dog whose name I don't know, a plant allie (periwinkle), the spirits of my childhood home. I would like to think if I got myself into a tricky situation, maybe I have enough helpers to keep me safe now? To give me good advice if I got stuck?
One time we journeyed for a lady who wanted to know about a past life, a past life that is closed to her for good reasons and should remain so, not that we knew this when we journeyed. My Magpie guided me there and because I was flying with Magpie as a bird myself, I was unable to go into the water and follow the spirit, which was just as well. F had a few shadowy, scary glimpses. A tunnel with a locked door that he managed to open and then down there he found a very scary skeletal figure, a big set of carnivorous teeth appeared and threatened the figure so he could leave, and he did ( a first early sign of one of his totems working hard to protect him).
If we can travel to such places and our spirits will help us there in that realm, surely they will also help us in this realm? I do think I need to open up to these things more. Fear is not constructive....
Showing posts with label Pagan Blog Project. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pagan Blog Project. Show all posts
Monday, 9 April 2012
Friday, 30 March 2012
G is for Gang
OK - so I am stretching this to talk about some things I want to talk about.... Basically my Gang. This may not seem overly pagan but my connection to the world around me is a really important part of my spirituality...
I am early to work this morning and I had decided to take a few minutes to sit in my car and listen and watch and enjoy the world around me before I went in. There was no one else around because I was early and it was a lovely moment.
As I pulled into the car park, I saw my three Crows flying across it. As I pulled up I caused the Jackdaws to leave in a flurry of nerves. I could see one of my magpies in a tree, watching, and some other Magpies were in some trees in the area where they often have communal meetings. A Seagull called as it glided across the sky. As I sat there, a Rabbit ran on to the grass bank alongside the car park and then it sat there for a while before it ran off again, white tail flashing.
Such moments leave me feeling very happy, very grounded and so connected to the wonderful world around me. These animals are to me, family. They represent aspets of myself. They are some of the totems I have identified so far and that they choose to show themselves to me makes me feel so good.
In my path Each position of the my Medicine Wheel can have a totem associated with and there are 36 stones. So I have a big family, I just have not met all of them yet. Some I have met but I am not quite sure where they go.
Jackdaw is my totem for the Moon of Affirmation. Rabbit is my totem for the Moon of Drama. Seagull, Magpie and Crow are more central I believe and I think Magpie is the totem for my centre.
During my lunch break I scatter seed on the grassy bank by my car and watch my family come to visit. I started by feeding the Magpies, then the Crows worked it and came to join in. Except Crows are definately the boss and they take charge. The area where I put the seed out is theirs. There are three of them, a dominant male, who struts around and puffs up his neck feathers, a bird I believe to be a mate and then a third much more junior bird who is the most likely one to be by themself. The Crows spread themselves over the whole area I throw seed and try to dominate as much of it as possible. If other birds are already feeding, they will fly in and swoop at them and all the birds seem to be nervous of Crows on the wing - even the Seagulls.
The two Magpie's are nicknamed Mr and Mrs. Mr is fluffier and bigger and bolder. Mrs has longer legs and a sleeker body and she runs. She sounds as if she is bossy and scolding him, the nervous one sitting on the sidelines making sure he does what is needed. The Crows tolerate the Magpies most of all but even so, the Magpies are wary. Sometimes they fly off to defend their territory or to join in with a meeting nearby. They also take food away to bury it.
The Seagulls are so very elegant and powerful on the wing, but on the ground they are clumsy. I used to put out bread and then the gulls would take it on the wing without landing. I was in danger of being mobbed and other birds would not get a look in. Now I use seed the gulls are at a disadvantage as they have to land and gather it. They are at risk from the Crows and the Crows seem much more likely to actually attack gulls rather than just see them off. Even so, there are two seagulls that come sometimes.
The Jackdaws have only recently become part of my family to my knowledge and only recently figured out about the food. They are the least dominant of the birds and the smallest. I see them at odd times of the day looking for the smallest seeds which the other birds have missed. i think they still do pretty well. They are pretty nervy and fly away if I make the slightest movement, my presence still makes them a little unhappy.
Jackdaws, unlike the others, hang around in flocks and roost communally. There is a group of about seven who hang around where I work. Sometimes they use their numbers to get seed because Crows can only chase birds in one direction at a time. They make me smile with their mannerisms - they jump in the air and flap their wings at each other and they call all the time.
I also think rabbits come to feed too as I have noticed that there are more droppings aorund my car sometimes. They never come when I am there though and I wonder if they come when the birds are absent too.
It is still too early to see Wasps although I have seen a couple of Bees. Wasps are the totem for my Moon of Welcome and I am endeavouring to learn to love them. I have respect for them and what they bring to me.
How can time spent watching my Gang fail to cheer me up? A drive where I see a bird of mine fly over gives me a special moment. Opening the back door and hearing a Crow call gives me a secret smile inside.
I am early to work this morning and I had decided to take a few minutes to sit in my car and listen and watch and enjoy the world around me before I went in. There was no one else around because I was early and it was a lovely moment.
As I pulled into the car park, I saw my three Crows flying across it. As I pulled up I caused the Jackdaws to leave in a flurry of nerves. I could see one of my magpies in a tree, watching, and some other Magpies were in some trees in the area where they often have communal meetings. A Seagull called as it glided across the sky. As I sat there, a Rabbit ran on to the grass bank alongside the car park and then it sat there for a while before it ran off again, white tail flashing.
Such moments leave me feeling very happy, very grounded and so connected to the wonderful world around me. These animals are to me, family. They represent aspets of myself. They are some of the totems I have identified so far and that they choose to show themselves to me makes me feel so good.
In my path Each position of the my Medicine Wheel can have a totem associated with and there are 36 stones. So I have a big family, I just have not met all of them yet. Some I have met but I am not quite sure where they go.
Jackdaw is my totem for the Moon of Affirmation. Rabbit is my totem for the Moon of Drama. Seagull, Magpie and Crow are more central I believe and I think Magpie is the totem for my centre.
During my lunch break I scatter seed on the grassy bank by my car and watch my family come to visit. I started by feeding the Magpies, then the Crows worked it and came to join in. Except Crows are definately the boss and they take charge. The area where I put the seed out is theirs. There are three of them, a dominant male, who struts around and puffs up his neck feathers, a bird I believe to be a mate and then a third much more junior bird who is the most likely one to be by themself. The Crows spread themselves over the whole area I throw seed and try to dominate as much of it as possible. If other birds are already feeding, they will fly in and swoop at them and all the birds seem to be nervous of Crows on the wing - even the Seagulls.
The two Magpie's are nicknamed Mr and Mrs. Mr is fluffier and bigger and bolder. Mrs has longer legs and a sleeker body and she runs. She sounds as if she is bossy and scolding him, the nervous one sitting on the sidelines making sure he does what is needed. The Crows tolerate the Magpies most of all but even so, the Magpies are wary. Sometimes they fly off to defend their territory or to join in with a meeting nearby. They also take food away to bury it.
The Seagulls are so very elegant and powerful on the wing, but on the ground they are clumsy. I used to put out bread and then the gulls would take it on the wing without landing. I was in danger of being mobbed and other birds would not get a look in. Now I use seed the gulls are at a disadvantage as they have to land and gather it. They are at risk from the Crows and the Crows seem much more likely to actually attack gulls rather than just see them off. Even so, there are two seagulls that come sometimes.
The Jackdaws have only recently become part of my family to my knowledge and only recently figured out about the food. They are the least dominant of the birds and the smallest. I see them at odd times of the day looking for the smallest seeds which the other birds have missed. i think they still do pretty well. They are pretty nervy and fly away if I make the slightest movement, my presence still makes them a little unhappy.
Jackdaws, unlike the others, hang around in flocks and roost communally. There is a group of about seven who hang around where I work. Sometimes they use their numbers to get seed because Crows can only chase birds in one direction at a time. They make me smile with their mannerisms - they jump in the air and flap their wings at each other and they call all the time.
I also think rabbits come to feed too as I have noticed that there are more droppings aorund my car sometimes. They never come when I am there though and I wonder if they come when the birds are absent too.
It is still too early to see Wasps although I have seen a couple of Bees. Wasps are the totem for my Moon of Welcome and I am endeavouring to learn to love them. I have respect for them and what they bring to me.
How can time spent watching my Gang fail to cheer me up? A drive where I see a bird of mine fly over gives me a special moment. Opening the back door and hearing a Crow call gives me a secret smile inside.
Sunday, 25 March 2012
F is for Falconry
F has told me what he wants for his next birthday. He wants to go and do a half day session on Falconry at a local sanctuary. Now this sounds like a fairly normal and cool thing to do for your birthday. Certainly something I can talk about with the guys at work. I may talk with them about ghosts and dreams but I do not talk with them about drumming, what dreaming means to me and my spirituality in general.
The thing is though, it is the intent behind something that makes it spiritual, that makes it something deeper and meaningful. Washing Up can be an exercise in grounding, or a meditation to take you far away, or a prayer of service and giving back to your family. We can not see the spiritual dimensions to why people do the things they do, we just see what they do. I like this. I like that the whole of life can be one big spiritual event, deeping our connectedness to all that is.
So F is still very new to all this. He has not been finding the visualization aspects of drum journeys easy. He has not found it easy to connect to helpers or totems. He had a sense of a cat once, a big one and one time when we were gathering our totems I saw a cat sat at his feet, a wolf sat by his side and a falcon type bird sat on his shoulder. I didn't see them well. It was a misty glimpse, but they were there.
The Cat we were expecting and Wolf was not much of a surprise as we are a very doggy couple. The Falcon just bore out what I had been saying on the way to the session. As I drive around I see Crows and Magpies, Jackdaws and Seagulls. I see them everywhere, all the time. I never see Hawks of any sort unless F is with me and on the way to that Drumming Session I saw three. F has started to see a lot more of them too as he has begun paying attention, he even saw one coming out of a hedge with a rabbit.
So for him, this birthday trip is not only interesting, cool and fun, it is spiritual. He wants to do this, over anything else, because he wants to connect with his totem and wants to spend time with it. He is doing them honour.
It is important to connect with our totems. if we don't we can lose them. They offer us so much understanding of ourselves, both our strengths and weaknesses. They become like family and as I drive around, seeing them flying past, it makes me feel good. A simple drive to work is a special thing now. And as for my bird feeding at lunch at work....
So here's to Falconry and connecting.
The thing is though, it is the intent behind something that makes it spiritual, that makes it something deeper and meaningful. Washing Up can be an exercise in grounding, or a meditation to take you far away, or a prayer of service and giving back to your family. We can not see the spiritual dimensions to why people do the things they do, we just see what they do. I like this. I like that the whole of life can be one big spiritual event, deeping our connectedness to all that is.
So F is still very new to all this. He has not been finding the visualization aspects of drum journeys easy. He has not found it easy to connect to helpers or totems. He had a sense of a cat once, a big one and one time when we were gathering our totems I saw a cat sat at his feet, a wolf sat by his side and a falcon type bird sat on his shoulder. I didn't see them well. It was a misty glimpse, but they were there.
The Cat we were expecting and Wolf was not much of a surprise as we are a very doggy couple. The Falcon just bore out what I had been saying on the way to the session. As I drive around I see Crows and Magpies, Jackdaws and Seagulls. I see them everywhere, all the time. I never see Hawks of any sort unless F is with me and on the way to that Drumming Session I saw three. F has started to see a lot more of them too as he has begun paying attention, he even saw one coming out of a hedge with a rabbit.
So for him, this birthday trip is not only interesting, cool and fun, it is spiritual. He wants to do this, over anything else, because he wants to connect with his totem and wants to spend time with it. He is doing them honour.
It is important to connect with our totems. if we don't we can lose them. They offer us so much understanding of ourselves, both our strengths and weaknesses. They become like family and as I drive around, seeing them flying past, it makes me feel good. A simple drive to work is a special thing now. And as for my bird feeding at lunch at work....
So here's to Falconry and connecting.
Saturday, 17 March 2012
F is for Fear
When I first got my Medicine Cards I pulled out my totems as per the book. The one that caused me an eek moment was Rabbit... Rabbit is the fear-caller. Rabbit fears everything and all the things it fears happen to it. It gets knocked down by cars, trapped, poisoned, eaten by snakes, eaten by hawks, eaten by foxes, eaten, well by everything really.... Rabbits saving grace is it's fertility!
But fear - who wants to have the ability to manifest all the things they are scared of? Not a happy thing. But one you can learn a lot from! if you choose to. Luckily, I am not a particuarly fearful.... But I look around me and I have begun to realise that an awful lot of people are...
OK, so I have lived in fear - over a decade ago I suffered from agoraphobia. bad things happened and made me scared of the world. Terrified in fact. But I didn't want to be like that. I read a very good book called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. basically, the things that you fear, accept that they scare you, don't push that fear away, quietly accept the feeling - and then do it anyway. A powerful book and a powerful message....
But I see so many people living in fear, one way or another. The girl with the panic attacks, the wife whose family can not go abroad because she will not fly or go on a boat, not to mention, fellow sufferers of agoraphobia. Fear is everywhere, but that Rabbit, he just gets on out there and eats the grass, knowing that there may well be a Fox lurking in the hedge. But Rabbit provides for everyone, and most of the time, life is pretty good being a Rabbit, sitting there, eating that grass and generally being pretty cute....
Rabbit seems to be linked to this, the third Moon, the Moon of Drama. I found a piece of Rabbit fur by my car in the grass the other day. Not very often something like that happens.... And I am seeing rabbits everywhere right now. Two ran in front of our car ont he way home. I am not sure yet what having Rabbit linked to my Moon of Drama means as yet but I still have plenty of time this moon to figure it out, and if I don't then there is always next time....
But fear - who wants to have the ability to manifest all the things they are scared of? Not a happy thing. But one you can learn a lot from! if you choose to. Luckily, I am not a particuarly fearful.... But I look around me and I have begun to realise that an awful lot of people are...
OK, so I have lived in fear - over a decade ago I suffered from agoraphobia. bad things happened and made me scared of the world. Terrified in fact. But I didn't want to be like that. I read a very good book called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. basically, the things that you fear, accept that they scare you, don't push that fear away, quietly accept the feeling - and then do it anyway. A powerful book and a powerful message....
But I see so many people living in fear, one way or another. The girl with the panic attacks, the wife whose family can not go abroad because she will not fly or go on a boat, not to mention, fellow sufferers of agoraphobia. Fear is everywhere, but that Rabbit, he just gets on out there and eats the grass, knowing that there may well be a Fox lurking in the hedge. But Rabbit provides for everyone, and most of the time, life is pretty good being a Rabbit, sitting there, eating that grass and generally being pretty cute....
Rabbit seems to be linked to this, the third Moon, the Moon of Drama. I found a piece of Rabbit fur by my car in the grass the other day. Not very often something like that happens.... And I am seeing rabbits everywhere right now. Two ran in front of our car ont he way home. I am not sure yet what having Rabbit linked to my Moon of Drama means as yet but I still have plenty of time this moon to figure it out, and if I don't then there is always next time....
E is for Eyes
Eyes have been cropping up a little for me recently. My last Full Moon Dreamboard (a collage of things that I find in magazines and the like that I do each Full Moon) was full of them. Eyes closed, eyes open, eyes behind sunglasses. Then last moons picture was eyes too....
Then there has been eyes in songs - M83's Midnight City has children with strange glowy blue eyes and interesting abilities and there is something I like very much about this song... Then there is Gotye's Eyes Wide Open. Both of these songs speak strongly to me right now.
A theme earlier on in the year was listening and seeing, being fully aware of what goes on around us. They are still things I am working on. Eyes obviously are very much about seeing... but they are windows too, it goes both ways, people can see us in our eyes and they can see themselves reflected back.
Trying to live as a Dreamer means trying to listen to these messages, these synchronicities, to follow the things that come up. Synchronicity is the dream in our waking life and they offer important insigts into things. Anything that keeps coming up like this in so many ways is something important to me and my development right now. I am continuing to sit with it, to work on it, until I figure it out...
But there is huge symbolism behind eyes- Christians have the all seeing eye of God who sees into your soul. Egyptians had the Eye of Ra which is a symbol of life and protection. Occult traditions often see the left eye as lunar and the right as solar. Then there is the third eye which is all about intuition, spirituality and seeing things from the cosmic perspective. There is also a link to prophesy.
The most interesting part of the above link to me though was what it says about eyes in dreaming. Here eyes mean an opening into a new dimension, in fact, I am just going to copy and paste....
the meaning of eyes indicates an opening into a new dimension. This is symbolic of your vision clearing and focusing in on a new direction. It may also indicate your ability to see past what is common and spiritually arrive to the point where your inner vision perceives all things in their divine glory - even the simplest of things become imbued with an exquisite quality inherent in all nature.
Oooh..... So if you take everything together it is all about an opening to other dimensions and realities. Time is a dimension too. Everything is connected so an all seeing eye would be able to see, well, everything.
So maybe my eyes are a warning that things are about to change, maybe they are a suggestion to try and see more...
Then there has been eyes in songs - M83's Midnight City has children with strange glowy blue eyes and interesting abilities and there is something I like very much about this song... Then there is Gotye's Eyes Wide Open. Both of these songs speak strongly to me right now.
A theme earlier on in the year was listening and seeing, being fully aware of what goes on around us. They are still things I am working on. Eyes obviously are very much about seeing... but they are windows too, it goes both ways, people can see us in our eyes and they can see themselves reflected back.
Trying to live as a Dreamer means trying to listen to these messages, these synchronicities, to follow the things that come up. Synchronicity is the dream in our waking life and they offer important insigts into things. Anything that keeps coming up like this in so many ways is something important to me and my development right now. I am continuing to sit with it, to work on it, until I figure it out...
But there is huge symbolism behind eyes- Christians have the all seeing eye of God who sees into your soul. Egyptians had the Eye of Ra which is a symbol of life and protection. Occult traditions often see the left eye as lunar and the right as solar. Then there is the third eye which is all about intuition, spirituality and seeing things from the cosmic perspective. There is also a link to prophesy.
The most interesting part of the above link to me though was what it says about eyes in dreaming. Here eyes mean an opening into a new dimension, in fact, I am just going to copy and paste....
the meaning of eyes indicates an opening into a new dimension. This is symbolic of your vision clearing and focusing in on a new direction. It may also indicate your ability to see past what is common and spiritually arrive to the point where your inner vision perceives all things in their divine glory - even the simplest of things become imbued with an exquisite quality inherent in all nature.
Oooh..... So if you take everything together it is all about an opening to other dimensions and realities. Time is a dimension too. Everything is connected so an all seeing eye would be able to see, well, everything.
So maybe my eyes are a warning that things are about to change, maybe they are a suggestion to try and see more...
Sunday, 4 March 2012
E is for Elder
Elder is a stage of life, the last stage before death. This period of life sits in the North East of the Medicine Wheel as we are born / reborn in the East. In Native American culture, Elders were venerated and respected. They were looked after and valued. They remained a part of their families and their experience and wisdom was a treasure for their community.
I look around and I don't see so much of this in the community I live in. I don't see much of it in my life either. Well I guess, as much as I hate saying it, my parents and their friends are passing into Elder territory and I very much respect and like them.... But the generation before....
Both my Grandfathers died before I was born and I would love to have known both of them very much. Neither one of my Grandmothers has been a strong role model for good. G was a difficult lady, at least for family, non-family did not see that side so much. She caused a great deal of heartache and difficulty and she was definately a trouble maker. At her funeral we were asked to spend a moment in a good memory of being with her. I was horrified to realise I could not find one memory that made me happy, one that was not tainted with the memory of how she was.
This has become easier over time and last year, G and I reached a point of forgiveness. She was at my wedding with me and I was honoured to wear the watch that her own Mother had given her for her 21st. The watch had a bad strap and needed replacing but the style of watch made it very hard to find a leather strap that could be fitted to it. My jeweller friend buys scrap gold and that week, while he had my watch and was trying to figure out what to do with it, someone brought iin a beautiful old watch which was damaged and only the strap could be saved, and it was so perfect and so beautiful.... It was my wedding gift from her...
My other Grandmother N is still alive but again she is not an easy woman, but in a completely different way. Where G lived on our doorstep and meddled in our day to day life, N is distant, in more ways than one. N was distant as a Mother too and I don't think life was always easy for my Mother, particularly after the divorce when her Father had to move away for work and her new Step-Father was not as easy man.
I think N lives in the past, it is as if her Wheel got stuck at some point and there she is, reliving and dreaming of the times before it all went wrong, when she was beautiful and desired by affluent and influential men, before she allowed herself to be trapped into marriage with a poor journalist... It is as if she has slowly being emptying and returning, shrinking in on herself.
She does not still live in the town she raised her family in, instead, before I was born, her and her husband moved to an obscure village, really out of the way and a very long way from all of her family. She lives in the middle of nowhere and relies on friends to take her shopping and the like, she will never move.
I guess there was a part of me that resented that, that she made herself so difficult to look after. Researching my family tree has helped me understand though. She has gone back to happy days in her childhood, staying in a house a short walk away from where she now lives, with her Grandparents.
So neither of my Elders was / is a strong model of wisdom that has been easy to respect and love. But there have been others who were. One of my cousins and his wife (somehow I never realised how old they were and never thought of them as Elders). A man from the village I knew through church as a child. F's Dad.
But the truth is, Elders are not integrated in our communities. And we do not seek to grow in wisdom throughout our lives. Sometimes our Elders do not work towards family and not happy people. It can be hard to respect Elders in our society.
This has the unfortunate consequence that we do not value becoming old ourselves. All around society makes it very clear how much age is a negative attribute. Arlene Philips was removed from the judging panel of Strictly Come Dancing and replaced by a younger lady who lacked the depth of experience completely. So often older people are not respected for their unique contribution.
We also do not allow them to live with the rhythms of their life, we expect them to work as hard as younger people. In the recent strikes by Unison (Teachers, Medical staff etc) workers, one comment made by Nurses as to why they could not possibly increase the retirement age was that it becomes much harder to work shifts as you get older.... A guy nearing retirement who I work with never slows down and is always ill as a result....
Some people though, find the beauty in ageing. I myself can feel myself becoming more rooted and happier as I get older. I am getting things figured out for myself. I don't care about the wrinkles that are appearing and grey hair doesn't bother me - I had some before I started dying my hair outrageous colours ( a sign of being more comfortable in my own skin).
In order for our communities to function well, we need to respect ageing as a process and the good it can bring and we need to respect our Elders and bring them back into our communities. Maybe the truth is, we fear our Elders because they remind us of death and death is the ultimate fear of our society....
I look around and I don't see so much of this in the community I live in. I don't see much of it in my life either. Well I guess, as much as I hate saying it, my parents and their friends are passing into Elder territory and I very much respect and like them.... But the generation before....
Both my Grandfathers died before I was born and I would love to have known both of them very much. Neither one of my Grandmothers has been a strong role model for good. G was a difficult lady, at least for family, non-family did not see that side so much. She caused a great deal of heartache and difficulty and she was definately a trouble maker. At her funeral we were asked to spend a moment in a good memory of being with her. I was horrified to realise I could not find one memory that made me happy, one that was not tainted with the memory of how she was.
This has become easier over time and last year, G and I reached a point of forgiveness. She was at my wedding with me and I was honoured to wear the watch that her own Mother had given her for her 21st. The watch had a bad strap and needed replacing but the style of watch made it very hard to find a leather strap that could be fitted to it. My jeweller friend buys scrap gold and that week, while he had my watch and was trying to figure out what to do with it, someone brought iin a beautiful old watch which was damaged and only the strap could be saved, and it was so perfect and so beautiful.... It was my wedding gift from her...
My other Grandmother N is still alive but again she is not an easy woman, but in a completely different way. Where G lived on our doorstep and meddled in our day to day life, N is distant, in more ways than one. N was distant as a Mother too and I don't think life was always easy for my Mother, particularly after the divorce when her Father had to move away for work and her new Step-Father was not as easy man.
I think N lives in the past, it is as if her Wheel got stuck at some point and there she is, reliving and dreaming of the times before it all went wrong, when she was beautiful and desired by affluent and influential men, before she allowed herself to be trapped into marriage with a poor journalist... It is as if she has slowly being emptying and returning, shrinking in on herself.
She does not still live in the town she raised her family in, instead, before I was born, her and her husband moved to an obscure village, really out of the way and a very long way from all of her family. She lives in the middle of nowhere and relies on friends to take her shopping and the like, she will never move.
I guess there was a part of me that resented that, that she made herself so difficult to look after. Researching my family tree has helped me understand though. She has gone back to happy days in her childhood, staying in a house a short walk away from where she now lives, with her Grandparents.
So neither of my Elders was / is a strong model of wisdom that has been easy to respect and love. But there have been others who were. One of my cousins and his wife (somehow I never realised how old they were and never thought of them as Elders). A man from the village I knew through church as a child. F's Dad.
But the truth is, Elders are not integrated in our communities. And we do not seek to grow in wisdom throughout our lives. Sometimes our Elders do not work towards family and not happy people. It can be hard to respect Elders in our society.
This has the unfortunate consequence that we do not value becoming old ourselves. All around society makes it very clear how much age is a negative attribute. Arlene Philips was removed from the judging panel of Strictly Come Dancing and replaced by a younger lady who lacked the depth of experience completely. So often older people are not respected for their unique contribution.
We also do not allow them to live with the rhythms of their life, we expect them to work as hard as younger people. In the recent strikes by Unison (Teachers, Medical staff etc) workers, one comment made by Nurses as to why they could not possibly increase the retirement age was that it becomes much harder to work shifts as you get older.... A guy nearing retirement who I work with never slows down and is always ill as a result....
Some people though, find the beauty in ageing. I myself can feel myself becoming more rooted and happier as I get older. I am getting things figured out for myself. I don't care about the wrinkles that are appearing and grey hair doesn't bother me - I had some before I started dying my hair outrageous colours ( a sign of being more comfortable in my own skin).
In order for our communities to function well, we need to respect ageing as a process and the good it can bring and we need to respect our Elders and bring them back into our communities. Maybe the truth is, we fear our Elders because they remind us of death and death is the ultimate fear of our society....
Friday, 17 February 2012
D is for Drum
A core bellief of Shamanism is that there are other realities. Some people have gifts that allow them to access these realities more easily than others but over the course of thousands of years a variety of techniques have been found. Everybody thinks of drugs but while these certainly work they are not the route I choose to take. People also fast and dance until they are exhausted as well but this is hard for most people holding down a 9 to 5 job....
The drum might not seem like a promising route to other realities but it is. There is something about the vibration of a drum and when it is played at a specific sort of speed it helps induce a trance-like state and from there you can Journey.
I tried to journey using CDs to begin with but had very limited success. I think the actual vibration of it is hard to replicate in a CD. So i found a drumming circle and that has really helped me to journey. And the more I journey the easier it becomes.
Each time I go it is as if I get a little better at finding my way around, although I have explored such a tiny fraction of all that is out there. So now I find it easier to journey at other times too, because I know the way. I have journeyed to my own heartbeat as well.
Not everyone takes to journeying straight away, some people take years to get the way of it. My other half has only just started doing these sorts of things and he has not gotten into it yet. Different senses will be stronger in the journey for different people to begin with.
I love journeying and although I have only recently started it, I can't imagine not doing it.
I recently had a drum dream and now that there is a spirit who would like to be in my drum, one is being made for me, as a home for this spirit. This is a huge thing for me. The drum is sacred and very personal. In the dream a reindeer was dying and I was told it was giving itself for my drum. Honouring that spirit is very important and I can not wait to hear it's voice and get to know it better.
If you want to read more about drums my teacher Lisa wrote this post.
The drum might not seem like a promising route to other realities but it is. There is something about the vibration of a drum and when it is played at a specific sort of speed it helps induce a trance-like state and from there you can Journey.
I tried to journey using CDs to begin with but had very limited success. I think the actual vibration of it is hard to replicate in a CD. So i found a drumming circle and that has really helped me to journey. And the more I journey the easier it becomes.
Each time I go it is as if I get a little better at finding my way around, although I have explored such a tiny fraction of all that is out there. So now I find it easier to journey at other times too, because I know the way. I have journeyed to my own heartbeat as well.
Not everyone takes to journeying straight away, some people take years to get the way of it. My other half has only just started doing these sorts of things and he has not gotten into it yet. Different senses will be stronger in the journey for different people to begin with.
I love journeying and although I have only recently started it, I can't imagine not doing it.
I recently had a drum dream and now that there is a spirit who would like to be in my drum, one is being made for me, as a home for this spirit. This is a huge thing for me. The drum is sacred and very personal. In the dream a reindeer was dying and I was told it was giving itself for my drum. Honouring that spirit is very important and I can not wait to hear it's voice and get to know it better.
If you want to read more about drums my teacher Lisa wrote this post.
Saturday, 11 February 2012
C is for Climbing Trees
I always climbed trees as a kid. I loved it, I felt at home in trees. I was acknowledged as being the best tree climer in my year. This was because I was larger than most of the others in my build, a little stronger. However this did not translate into sports, I have never been a quick mover!
Climbing trees though does not require quick movement. It requires planning and understanding to see where the branches are, the footholds and the branches you can pull yourself up on. You also have to be able to judge where you should and where you should not climb. No tree climber wishes to damage the tree they climb...
I was never scared of heights and I never felt like I would fall. I always felt like the trees had me.
At home I grew up in an old house with about an acre of garden which contained a lot of trees. A lot of old trees to, many of them fruit trees, planted to feed the house. I used to climb the apple and pear trees, the big plum tree and the nest of tangled Yews. I didn't climb the thorn trees, or the pines or the Limes.
The Limes are ancient and the first branches are well above my head even now. My Dad is well over 6 foot and one time he lifted me up into the lowest branches, but even then, I could barely reach the next branches up. All the branches though form a canopy that comes close to the ground and the huge leaves provide a beautiful cool green shelter from the Summer sun.
At school, I was lucky that some ancient resident had collected trees from all over. I had many non-native trees to climb and admire. Not all trees grow to be giants but in every group of trees, there would always be one ancient one that towered upwards it seemed.
This all reminded me of something I read long along, so I just dug the book out and I looked up the author on amazon too. The book is Flat Rock Journal by Ken Carey and it is the journal of a spiritual walk. Now I have just realised that as much as I love this book, I don't much like the other book by the author I have attempted to read - it was a channeled book and I just don't like the language and feel. In fact I posted the book off to someone I thought might like it only last week....
Anyway, one of the many things he talks about in this book is a vision he has for the future of trees, based on a conversation he had with a tree. It seems that trees need to be mature enough to have the circuitry in place to act as the grand sentient presences that we should have in our forests. By allowing selected trees to mature, the consciousness of the entire forest develops. This is because trees have two types of consciousness, individual and collective.
My teacher Lisa was talking on her blog about what it is to be a shaman in answer to someone's question. In it she talks about how being a Shaman is a title given by a community in recognition of an energy you embody. She says that not only people are called, but trees, animals and rivers as well. Many Shaman are marked young but they don't necessarily become Shaman until they are a little older. Why not the same with Tree Shaman? It fits with Ken Carey's vision.
I often wondered why different woods felt different. Where I grew up, the weather is gentler in some ways than in Cornwall. The winds are quieter, it rains hard when it rains and there is plenty of sun and warmth in the Summer. The land is a patchwork of fields and small woods and wild areas with larger woods inbetween.
I spent a lot of time walking the land around me as a teen with a variety of dogs as company. The local farmer had left areas of wood nearby. One area of wood was full of small trees, a lot of them thorny. It was not a wood you walk through as there was just no room and it never had that depth of atmosphere of some other woods. But driving past it at night, there would often be animals around that wood
A bit further away there was an area of ancient wood with some truly old trees and the atmosphere was very different there. However, I never once met another person walking in that wood for all it's status as a nature reserve. It was quite out of the way, but I don't think that was it. I loved that wild atmosphere...
Another nearby wood was very large with well developed pathways that almost spearated the wood into smaller woods, so that in many ways you were not walking amongst the trees. That wood was always full, at least those big wide paths were. The little paths that took off into the dark of the older parts of the wood were far less visited.
Many of our managed woods have plantation areas. Rows of quick growing trees, harvested in turn. These too have a different feel again. I have to say, I like the idea of keeping some trees to full maturity, not clear cutting whole areas.
I like the idea of there being tree shaman too. I like that there are still woods that are truly wild.
Climbing trees though does not require quick movement. It requires planning and understanding to see where the branches are, the footholds and the branches you can pull yourself up on. You also have to be able to judge where you should and where you should not climb. No tree climber wishes to damage the tree they climb...
I was never scared of heights and I never felt like I would fall. I always felt like the trees had me.
At home I grew up in an old house with about an acre of garden which contained a lot of trees. A lot of old trees to, many of them fruit trees, planted to feed the house. I used to climb the apple and pear trees, the big plum tree and the nest of tangled Yews. I didn't climb the thorn trees, or the pines or the Limes.
The Limes are ancient and the first branches are well above my head even now. My Dad is well over 6 foot and one time he lifted me up into the lowest branches, but even then, I could barely reach the next branches up. All the branches though form a canopy that comes close to the ground and the huge leaves provide a beautiful cool green shelter from the Summer sun.
At school, I was lucky that some ancient resident had collected trees from all over. I had many non-native trees to climb and admire. Not all trees grow to be giants but in every group of trees, there would always be one ancient one that towered upwards it seemed.
This all reminded me of something I read long along, so I just dug the book out and I looked up the author on amazon too. The book is Flat Rock Journal by Ken Carey and it is the journal of a spiritual walk. Now I have just realised that as much as I love this book, I don't much like the other book by the author I have attempted to read - it was a channeled book and I just don't like the language and feel. In fact I posted the book off to someone I thought might like it only last week....
Anyway, one of the many things he talks about in this book is a vision he has for the future of trees, based on a conversation he had with a tree. It seems that trees need to be mature enough to have the circuitry in place to act as the grand sentient presences that we should have in our forests. By allowing selected trees to mature, the consciousness of the entire forest develops. This is because trees have two types of consciousness, individual and collective.
My teacher Lisa was talking on her blog about what it is to be a shaman in answer to someone's question. In it she talks about how being a Shaman is a title given by a community in recognition of an energy you embody. She says that not only people are called, but trees, animals and rivers as well. Many Shaman are marked young but they don't necessarily become Shaman until they are a little older. Why not the same with Tree Shaman? It fits with Ken Carey's vision.
I often wondered why different woods felt different. Where I grew up, the weather is gentler in some ways than in Cornwall. The winds are quieter, it rains hard when it rains and there is plenty of sun and warmth in the Summer. The land is a patchwork of fields and small woods and wild areas with larger woods inbetween.
I spent a lot of time walking the land around me as a teen with a variety of dogs as company. The local farmer had left areas of wood nearby. One area of wood was full of small trees, a lot of them thorny. It was not a wood you walk through as there was just no room and it never had that depth of atmosphere of some other woods. But driving past it at night, there would often be animals around that wood
A bit further away there was an area of ancient wood with some truly old trees and the atmosphere was very different there. However, I never once met another person walking in that wood for all it's status as a nature reserve. It was quite out of the way, but I don't think that was it. I loved that wild atmosphere...
Another nearby wood was very large with well developed pathways that almost spearated the wood into smaller woods, so that in many ways you were not walking amongst the trees. That wood was always full, at least those big wide paths were. The little paths that took off into the dark of the older parts of the wood were far less visited.
Many of our managed woods have plantation areas. Rows of quick growing trees, harvested in turn. These too have a different feel again. I have to say, I like the idea of keeping some trees to full maturity, not clear cutting whole areas.
I like the idea of there being tree shaman too. I like that there are still woods that are truly wild.
Friday, 27 January 2012
B is for Bagua
The Bagua is one of those things that appears very simple at first but the more you look at it, the more you learn about it, the more it just appears to be a key. Keys can be simple but unlock an awful lot! I have come across the Bagua a couple of times, reading about Feng Shui and I Ching.
In Feng Shui the idea is to generate positive energy of qi by ordering things according to the laws of Heaven and Earth. So buildings are properly designed and orientated to act within their environment, such as a famous building with a hole in it, designed according to feng shui to allow the dragon in the mountain behind access to the sea. Within homes, feng shui allows things to be placed and ordered to allow us to manage energy and create the energies we wish for and aid balance.
This image is from Wikipedia
The map that helps with this is the Bagua. Each of the eight trigrams deals with a specific concept and has certain attributes. The bagua is overlain on your house, and can be pulled into shape to match and orientated by a compass. All this is explained in any feng shui book.
The eight symbols are the basis of I Ching which is most simply understood as a method of divination. An unbroken line is Yang and a broken line is Yin and each trigram has three lines. Divination has been conducted in various ways such as with yarrow stalks or with three coins.
The bagua itself is often turned into a decoration such as a mirror. This is used on the outside of buildings as a powerful antidote to negative energies caused by the position of the building. This may be beacuse the building is at T junction with a road pointing at it; some sort of offending and badly placed structure such as a tree, electrical transformer or wall; or just because the building is attracting negative energies such as vandalism or theft.
I am beginning to see though that all this is something more than home decorating and divination - it is a system for living, just like many other sacred circles, such as the Medicine Wheel. This has taken much pointing out to me! It is philosophical and highly complex and I do not even begin to claim to understand it. This system has been around for at least 3000 years and has been developed and studied by Chinese scholars, and more recently in other countries too.
It's roots are both magical and mathematical (Math for Mystics by Renna Shesso). Emperor Yu the Great, also known as the Sage King lived around 3000BCE. One day he found a turtle by a river and recognized it as a creature of magic. The dots on it's back were clustered and of two different colours. This pattern of numbers assumed a great significance and this pattern of numbers from this turtle shell are the root of the I Ching and Feng Shui, but also the Square of Saturn and the Lo Shu (Lo River Writing).
The numbers form a magic square which has many mathematical tricks up it's sleeve. Each individual row and column adds up to 15 as does each diagonal. Each edge pair adds up to 10 (4 & 6, 9 & 1, 2 & 8 and 7 & 3). 5 is the only number that does not have a pair, but 5 doubled is 10 as well.
This square was used by the Mayans, prehistoric French and Northern Africans. The Babylonians used it and it was the basis for the Star of Ishtar. It was used in India for divination and associated with the planets in Islamic lands by 983 CE.
So these numbers are a key and the Bagua is one development of the key, a more sophisticated version that opens many doors. Sacred mathematics is obviously a very full and complicated subject and Ancient Civilizations were very sophisticated in it's use and it's subtelties.
In Feng Shui the idea is to generate positive energy of qi by ordering things according to the laws of Heaven and Earth. So buildings are properly designed and orientated to act within their environment, such as a famous building with a hole in it, designed according to feng shui to allow the dragon in the mountain behind access to the sea. Within homes, feng shui allows things to be placed and ordered to allow us to manage energy and create the energies we wish for and aid balance.
The map that helps with this is the Bagua. Each of the eight trigrams deals with a specific concept and has certain attributes. The bagua is overlain on your house, and can be pulled into shape to match and orientated by a compass. All this is explained in any feng shui book.
The eight symbols are the basis of I Ching which is most simply understood as a method of divination. An unbroken line is Yang and a broken line is Yin and each trigram has three lines. Divination has been conducted in various ways such as with yarrow stalks or with three coins.
The bagua itself is often turned into a decoration such as a mirror. This is used on the outside of buildings as a powerful antidote to negative energies caused by the position of the building. This may be beacuse the building is at T junction with a road pointing at it; some sort of offending and badly placed structure such as a tree, electrical transformer or wall; or just because the building is attracting negative energies such as vandalism or theft.
I am beginning to see though that all this is something more than home decorating and divination - it is a system for living, just like many other sacred circles, such as the Medicine Wheel. This has taken much pointing out to me! It is philosophical and highly complex and I do not even begin to claim to understand it. This system has been around for at least 3000 years and has been developed and studied by Chinese scholars, and more recently in other countries too.
It's roots are both magical and mathematical (Math for Mystics by Renna Shesso). Emperor Yu the Great, also known as the Sage King lived around 3000BCE. One day he found a turtle by a river and recognized it as a creature of magic. The dots on it's back were clustered and of two different colours. This pattern of numbers assumed a great significance and this pattern of numbers from this turtle shell are the root of the I Ching and Feng Shui, but also the Square of Saturn and the Lo Shu (Lo River Writing).
4 9 2
3 5 7
8 1 6
3 5 7
8 1 6
The numbers form a magic square which has many mathematical tricks up it's sleeve. Each individual row and column adds up to 15 as does each diagonal. Each edge pair adds up to 10 (4 & 6, 9 & 1, 2 & 8 and 7 & 3). 5 is the only number that does not have a pair, but 5 doubled is 10 as well.
This square was used by the Mayans, prehistoric French and Northern Africans. The Babylonians used it and it was the basis for the Star of Ishtar. It was used in India for divination and associated with the planets in Islamic lands by 983 CE.
So these numbers are a key and the Bagua is one development of the key, a more sophisticated version that opens many doors. Sacred mathematics is obviously a very full and complicated subject and Ancient Civilizations were very sophisticated in it's use and it's subtelties.
Friday, 20 January 2012
B is for Boundaries
This has been a really important topic for me over the last few years, and to be honest, for a lot longer than that. My Boss has a difficult life and is often very negative and seems to enjoy others being miserable too. Working with her has made me very much more conscious of the energies we pick up from others and boundaries. This is what I have learnt from all sorts of places and acts as a summary of where I am now...
So...
I believe that the boundaries we maintain are really important but that it is wrong to make these boundaries so strong nothing can get through. It is also important they are flexible and can change. The stronger we get, the less we need boundaries at all, but while we are gettig there, techniques for maintaining and reasserting our boundaries are really, really important.
Many years ago I lived in the city. I found this quite hard and when I travel to other more urban areas oof the country I find myself re-erecting the barriers I needed there and becoming harder and more vigilant. In the city you do need to be aware of what is going on around you and there is just so much going on!
I remember one time I was in the city centre and I was sat having a drink. There were two young guys and I realised they were paying attention to me and I was able to pick up the gist of it, although I think it was more in the way of gestures than words. One of them was teaching the other to pick pockets or some such and the student had picked me out as an easy target. The Teacher took one look at me, found me watching back and told his pupil no and they moved on.
Being aware makes it harder for people to target you. Being unaware makes it easier to become a victim. Your boundaries have to allow you to be aware of what is going on, the question is how aware do you need to be? I had to leave the city without fail at least once a month, because even the parks were too crowded - I needed to be further from people. The city is too much for me.
Many people who have been victims work on making their barriers bigger and stronger. They become harder, more cynical, more dangerous in some ways. They are trying to deal with threats on the term of the threat. I had a bad experience many years ago and I remember making a choice mentally that I did not want to become hard and cynical. I wanted to be open to future relationships and happiness without being a victim or a perpetrator of nastiness.
One time, there was a black energy that was following me. I have no idea where it came from, but it used to un-nerve me when I felt it - often at night. I told a friend over the phone one time and then she felt it too, that night at least. In order to feel safe, I would cast a circle and call the elements and ask them to watch me as I slept and keep me safe. Then I could sleep.
I remember one time I traveled to stay with family at a very special place and I could feel the thing at the gate, stuck, unable to come in. And there was no physical barrier there other than the fact the positive energy of the place was such that it could not enter. I think this is how our energy boundaries should be - they exist because of the strength of what is inside, us. But being spiritually wonderful is not somewhere very easy to get to, and quite often we need to clear space in order to learn to even begin getting there.
These are some of the tricks I have learnt...
Visualisation
Grounding
However you ground it is always a good way of allowing negativity to flow out and good energies to flow in. I like to connect myself upwards to the sky and down to the ground and breathe the energies in both directions.
Policing Your Mind
It is easy to get trapped in negative thoughts - don't! They just make you feel negative. Don't repress them, feel them, express them, journal, do art, whatever, just don't let them become a track round and round inside your head, because this is a trap. Change the subject, make yourself think of other things, do other things, distract yourself. Don't dwell.
Meditate and practice thinking nothing at all....
Doing
Protections
Kyanite is a great crystal to carry, as is Smokey Quartz.
Carry any talisman of positivity and contentment that works for you.
I don't believe 'Happy' is a good goal - happy is a momentary feeling and implies you will be sad in the future. Contented is where you want to be - it allows space for happy without being sad un-necessarily. And we all need sad sometimes, it can be a very healing emotion, and it should be expressed - otherwise it turns to depression. It is depression really that we are fighting here I think...
But contentment is something you practice. If you work at being contented, eventually, some chemical trigger in your head might just get the point and suddenly that glass will be half full. And really, that's all you need to change... I have a book called the Happy Book which is a book of prompts to turn the book into a collection of stuff that makes you happy. Lists of memories, smells, objects, people. ideas of happy things to do... So that whenever you are feeling negative you can get out the book and see all the things that make you feel better. A lovely idea.
And that thing about something switching around in your head, well I guess that is what happened for me. Now I find I need to think about clearing my boundaries less. I don't even have to consider sleeping inside a circle - I have not had to do this in years! i don't feel like a victim but when bad stuff happens, I am more able to feel it with out getting stuck in it...
Now don't go thinking I know all of this and I am never negative... I have just learnt how to deal with it better than I ever used too. I still have lots to learn. There is always so much to learn.... But making sure you are not carrying around other peoples emotions makes it easier to do the work on yourself and we have to work on ourselves. If we don't, we have nothing to give anyone else....
p.s. Just read a post which gave a very timely reminder, there will always be situations where you should make your boundaries really, really strong. For instance when healing. Sometimes you just should not take things in to your self or put things out of yourself. I guess it is about adjusting yourself so that you are in balance with the situation you are in... Flexible but strong boudaries!
So...
I believe that the boundaries we maintain are really important but that it is wrong to make these boundaries so strong nothing can get through. It is also important they are flexible and can change. The stronger we get, the less we need boundaries at all, but while we are gettig there, techniques for maintaining and reasserting our boundaries are really, really important.
Many years ago I lived in the city. I found this quite hard and when I travel to other more urban areas oof the country I find myself re-erecting the barriers I needed there and becoming harder and more vigilant. In the city you do need to be aware of what is going on around you and there is just so much going on!
I remember one time I was in the city centre and I was sat having a drink. There were two young guys and I realised they were paying attention to me and I was able to pick up the gist of it, although I think it was more in the way of gestures than words. One of them was teaching the other to pick pockets or some such and the student had picked me out as an easy target. The Teacher took one look at me, found me watching back and told his pupil no and they moved on.
Being aware makes it harder for people to target you. Being unaware makes it easier to become a victim. Your boundaries have to allow you to be aware of what is going on, the question is how aware do you need to be? I had to leave the city without fail at least once a month, because even the parks were too crowded - I needed to be further from people. The city is too much for me.
Many people who have been victims work on making their barriers bigger and stronger. They become harder, more cynical, more dangerous in some ways. They are trying to deal with threats on the term of the threat. I had a bad experience many years ago and I remember making a choice mentally that I did not want to become hard and cynical. I wanted to be open to future relationships and happiness without being a victim or a perpetrator of nastiness.
One time, there was a black energy that was following me. I have no idea where it came from, but it used to un-nerve me when I felt it - often at night. I told a friend over the phone one time and then she felt it too, that night at least. In order to feel safe, I would cast a circle and call the elements and ask them to watch me as I slept and keep me safe. Then I could sleep.
I remember one time I traveled to stay with family at a very special place and I could feel the thing at the gate, stuck, unable to come in. And there was no physical barrier there other than the fact the positive energy of the place was such that it could not enter. I think this is how our energy boundaries should be - they exist because of the strength of what is inside, us. But being spiritually wonderful is not somewhere very easy to get to, and quite often we need to clear space in order to learn to even begin getting there.
These are some of the tricks I have learnt...
Visualisation
- Clean your aura (I take a brush and give mine a good clean out).
- Snipping energy links to other people (we don't need their energy and they don't need ours, not set up as permanent links like this anyway... healing is different but should not be a permanent drain...)
- Visualising an 'energy' cloak all around you as a shield
Grounding
However you ground it is always a good way of allowing negativity to flow out and good energies to flow in. I like to connect myself upwards to the sky and down to the ground and breathe the energies in both directions.
Policing Your Mind
It is easy to get trapped in negative thoughts - don't! They just make you feel negative. Don't repress them, feel them, express them, journal, do art, whatever, just don't let them become a track round and round inside your head, because this is a trap. Change the subject, make yourself think of other things, do other things, distract yourself. Don't dwell.
Meditate and practice thinking nothing at all....
Doing
- Dance or listen to music
- Do physical activities that don't give you space to dwell
- Nature... being with nature is for me, the best balm in the entire word. The wind blowing salt and sand into my face is one of my favourites for making me feel alive and good.
- Love - taking a moment to really feel love for those around us, so that it bubbles up through us.
Protections
Kyanite is a great crystal to carry, as is Smokey Quartz.
Carry any talisman of positivity and contentment that works for you.
I don't believe 'Happy' is a good goal - happy is a momentary feeling and implies you will be sad in the future. Contented is where you want to be - it allows space for happy without being sad un-necessarily. And we all need sad sometimes, it can be a very healing emotion, and it should be expressed - otherwise it turns to depression. It is depression really that we are fighting here I think...
But contentment is something you practice. If you work at being contented, eventually, some chemical trigger in your head might just get the point and suddenly that glass will be half full. And really, that's all you need to change... I have a book called the Happy Book which is a book of prompts to turn the book into a collection of stuff that makes you happy. Lists of memories, smells, objects, people. ideas of happy things to do... So that whenever you are feeling negative you can get out the book and see all the things that make you feel better. A lovely idea.
And that thing about something switching around in your head, well I guess that is what happened for me. Now I find I need to think about clearing my boundaries less. I don't even have to consider sleeping inside a circle - I have not had to do this in years! i don't feel like a victim but when bad stuff happens, I am more able to feel it with out getting stuck in it...
Now don't go thinking I know all of this and I am never negative... I have just learnt how to deal with it better than I ever used too. I still have lots to learn. There is always so much to learn.... But making sure you are not carrying around other peoples emotions makes it easier to do the work on yourself and we have to work on ourselves. If we don't, we have nothing to give anyone else....
p.s. Just read a post which gave a very timely reminder, there will always be situations where you should make your boundaries really, really strong. For instance when healing. Sometimes you just should not take things in to your self or put things out of yourself. I guess it is about adjusting yourself so that you are in balance with the situation you are in... Flexible but strong boudaries!
Saturday, 14 January 2012
A is for Animism
1866, reintroduced by Eng. anthropologist Sir Edward Burnett Taylor (18321917), who defined it (1871) as the "theory of the universal animation of nature," from L. anima "life, breath, soul."
I like that, universal animation of nature. Nature is alive. All of it. We all know that plants and animals are alive. Not everyone believes they have souls. I was recently shocked to discover that my Mother doesn't think they do, and she doesn't think they feel emotion either. It just goes to show that you can never be entirely sure what anyone else believes...
I think everything has soul.
I am beginning to understand that everything has spirit too. I am a newcomer to shamanism and I would not call myself a Shaman. The thing I love the most is that you get to learn and experience it all yourself. So you don't have to take anybody else#s word that these things exist... but you do find yourself realisig that it is not a good idea to disagree with someone else's experiences because the universe is a very large and very strange place - there is room for everything we can possibly image and more.
So recently, I got to meet the spirits of my childhood home on a journey. And now that I have met them I can see their presence throughout my life.
It seems though that two concepts are closely related, Animism and Totemism. Animists believe in the power of individual spirits to bring about life whereas Totemists believe there is a primary source such as Ancestors or the Land. Sort of like the one God versus many Gods viewpoints.
Personally I am not sure it matters. I think both are true in different ways. I think there is a primary source which is Everything but within that everything there are energies that can be separated out as archetypes.
So am I an Animist or a Totemist? I have no idea....
I like that, universal animation of nature. Nature is alive. All of it. We all know that plants and animals are alive. Not everyone believes they have souls. I was recently shocked to discover that my Mother doesn't think they do, and she doesn't think they feel emotion either. It just goes to show that you can never be entirely sure what anyone else believes...
I think everything has soul.
I am beginning to understand that everything has spirit too. I am a newcomer to shamanism and I would not call myself a Shaman. The thing I love the most is that you get to learn and experience it all yourself. So you don't have to take anybody else#s word that these things exist... but you do find yourself realisig that it is not a good idea to disagree with someone else's experiences because the universe is a very large and very strange place - there is room for everything we can possibly image and more.
So recently, I got to meet the spirits of my childhood home on a journey. And now that I have met them I can see their presence throughout my life.
It seems though that two concepts are closely related, Animism and Totemism. Animists believe in the power of individual spirits to bring about life whereas Totemists believe there is a primary source such as Ancestors or the Land. Sort of like the one God versus many Gods viewpoints.
Personally I am not sure it matters. I think both are true in different ways. I think there is a primary source which is Everything but within that everything there are energies that can be separated out as archetypes.
So am I an Animist or a Totemist? I have no idea....
Friday, 6 January 2012
A is for Avebury
So starting this a little late and posting retrosepctively....
I remember very well the first, and only time, I have been to Avebury. I had a call shortly after work one Friday evening from a friend, saying lets go on a trip. We bundled ourselves up into his van and he took me to Avebury.
It was dark when we got there and we parked in a layby near Silbury Hill, which we then climbed in the dark. Afterwards we played Crib in the back of his van, comfortably outfitted with a mattress, and nearly suffocated ourselves with fumes from his parafin lamp....
In the morning, shortly after dawn we walked to the Long Barrow and I remember being so amazed... We met a man who had spent the entire night in the barrow, and I was bemused by this, I was so very young and pagan things were skirting around the edges of my life back then. We gave him a lift into the village and before he left he took out a battered set of cards with the names of animals on them and asked us to choose one each. I chose Otter and my friend chose Deer.
I remember looking around the stones in the early morning and we had it all to ourselves, no body else had even stirred...
I wish I remembered more of the trip but my memory is notoriously poor, but I remember Avebury with great fondness and would love to visit again. And this time I would be more thorough in my visit.
I have just been reading about Avebury recently and it's sad history of abuse and destruction. As much as some of the stones have been removed and destroyed, the underlying energy structure of Avebury is still intact. The St MAry line passes through a pair of stones to Windmill Hill, loops round to Avebury stone circle, down to Silbury Hill, the Swallowhead Spring and finally the Long Barrow bwfore passing through the Sanctuary.
The St Michael Line crosses the St Mary line at Windmill Hill before passing through Winterbourne Monkton and then crossing the St Mary line again in the stone circle before leaving through the West Kennet stone Avenue and then crossing the St Mary line again at the Sanctuary.
I find it curious that my friend took me to three of the places on the St Mary line and I can't help but wonder if he even knew of the others at that time. When I go again, I shall take a good map and visit all of the sites, and hopefully I shall get to spend some quiet time at each so I can really feel them....
There is one further place called Knoll Down that I would visit, but then, one look at the map for this area and there are so very many stones, tumuli, barrows and earthworks, I think you could spend a long time in this one place....
I remember very well the first, and only time, I have been to Avebury. I had a call shortly after work one Friday evening from a friend, saying lets go on a trip. We bundled ourselves up into his van and he took me to Avebury.
It was dark when we got there and we parked in a layby near Silbury Hill, which we then climbed in the dark. Afterwards we played Crib in the back of his van, comfortably outfitted with a mattress, and nearly suffocated ourselves with fumes from his parafin lamp....
In the morning, shortly after dawn we walked to the Long Barrow and I remember being so amazed... We met a man who had spent the entire night in the barrow, and I was bemused by this, I was so very young and pagan things were skirting around the edges of my life back then. We gave him a lift into the village and before he left he took out a battered set of cards with the names of animals on them and asked us to choose one each. I chose Otter and my friend chose Deer.
I remember looking around the stones in the early morning and we had it all to ourselves, no body else had even stirred...
I wish I remembered more of the trip but my memory is notoriously poor, but I remember Avebury with great fondness and would love to visit again. And this time I would be more thorough in my visit.
I have just been reading about Avebury recently and it's sad history of abuse and destruction. As much as some of the stones have been removed and destroyed, the underlying energy structure of Avebury is still intact. The St MAry line passes through a pair of stones to Windmill Hill, loops round to Avebury stone circle, down to Silbury Hill, the Swallowhead Spring and finally the Long Barrow bwfore passing through the Sanctuary.
The St Michael Line crosses the St Mary line at Windmill Hill before passing through Winterbourne Monkton and then crossing the St Mary line again in the stone circle before leaving through the West Kennet stone Avenue and then crossing the St Mary line again at the Sanctuary.
I find it curious that my friend took me to three of the places on the St Mary line and I can't help but wonder if he even knew of the others at that time. When I go again, I shall take a good map and visit all of the sites, and hopefully I shall get to spend some quiet time at each so I can really feel them....
There is one further place called Knoll Down that I would visit, but then, one look at the map for this area and there are so very many stones, tumuli, barrows and earthworks, I think you could spend a long time in this one place....
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