Sunday, 26 February 2012
The Ghost in the Dream
This post is a follow on from a couple of previous posts A Relative Fashion and J Donald.
So the saga continues. Although the depression lifted, the bad sleep and strange dreams have continued. Maybe I should have been making an effort to remember them, but at 4 in the morning when a horrible image is stuck in your head and you have to get back to sleep and go to work the following day, forgetting it as quickly as possible is definately the goal!
One image has stayed with me this week and I have not been able to leave it in the dreaming at all. A sister watching her brother being burned alive. I got to watch it in horrific detail. It took a couple of hours for me to get back to sleep and I could not forget, no matter how hard I tried.
With a nice bit of timing, Wheelkeeper wrote this post about a ghost she had been assisting and with the assistance of Lisa as well, things have become clearer. The ghost can call to us in the dream and call us to a dream realm where we can receive messages and interact, if they are a loved one, a ghost of one of our own past lives or if we are a Keeper of the Dead.
I have no evidence to suggest I am a Keeper of the Dead, this is after all my first ghost. I am not sure if he counts as a loved one, no living relative of mine ever met him after all, he is a Great Great Great Grandfather. Not sure about him being a past life either. Not sure how I would feel if he was a past life.
I mean after all, killing surely acquires a fair bit of bad karma! And he in all likelihood killed a lot of people. Then there is the other side of the coin, he achieved so very much in his life, he came from nothing and climbed his way up, was respected and rewarded for this and was very, very formidable. I admire him but I am not sure I can live up to him. I think he would look at my lack of fitness, my messy house and start barking off orders....
But I found this article on soldiers and karma. It seems that there is a view that intention is key with karma. If your intention is to do your job well and with honour and to protect your country, then that is fine. Intending to go out and kill people, to rape and pillage, to do bad things is going to accrue a lot of bad karma.
I am currently reading a book, Earth Medicine by Jamie Sams with a reading each morning. This mornings reading was all about honour. To honor the deeds of another is to show appreciation for their contribution. To bring honor to our country is to give of ourselves above and beyond what is normally expected. To honor the self requires sacrifice - to make sacred our roles abilities and talents. If we share these gifts with those we serve, without desire for reward and with an open heart, we will receive joy as a reward.
This is such an appropriate reading for today! Because honor is so very much what he was about. He did his job, with all of himself, all of his ability and he was prepared to make the biggest sacrifice. If he was ordered to do terrible things or they were part of battle there is no dishonor. The fact these things haunted him is a credit to him. Maybe there were things he did that he could have done differently, maybe some images would never leave, maybe there was guilt while he was alive, I doubt he would ever have admitted to it. I can see how that guilt would remain as unresolve in some one like him.
Any individual acts he committed and their attendant unresolve is not what he has to deal with now. They will be played out in life, in the relationships he has with those people. It is his guilt he has to accept and let go of.
So the saga continues. Although the depression lifted, the bad sleep and strange dreams have continued. Maybe I should have been making an effort to remember them, but at 4 in the morning when a horrible image is stuck in your head and you have to get back to sleep and go to work the following day, forgetting it as quickly as possible is definately the goal!
One image has stayed with me this week and I have not been able to leave it in the dreaming at all. A sister watching her brother being burned alive. I got to watch it in horrific detail. It took a couple of hours for me to get back to sleep and I could not forget, no matter how hard I tried.
With a nice bit of timing, Wheelkeeper wrote this post about a ghost she had been assisting and with the assistance of Lisa as well, things have become clearer. The ghost can call to us in the dream and call us to a dream realm where we can receive messages and interact, if they are a loved one, a ghost of one of our own past lives or if we are a Keeper of the Dead.
I have no evidence to suggest I am a Keeper of the Dead, this is after all my first ghost. I am not sure if he counts as a loved one, no living relative of mine ever met him after all, he is a Great Great Great Grandfather. Not sure about him being a past life either. Not sure how I would feel if he was a past life.
I mean after all, killing surely acquires a fair bit of bad karma! And he in all likelihood killed a lot of people. Then there is the other side of the coin, he achieved so very much in his life, he came from nothing and climbed his way up, was respected and rewarded for this and was very, very formidable. I admire him but I am not sure I can live up to him. I think he would look at my lack of fitness, my messy house and start barking off orders....
But I found this article on soldiers and karma. It seems that there is a view that intention is key with karma. If your intention is to do your job well and with honour and to protect your country, then that is fine. Intending to go out and kill people, to rape and pillage, to do bad things is going to accrue a lot of bad karma.
I am currently reading a book, Earth Medicine by Jamie Sams with a reading each morning. This mornings reading was all about honour. To honor the deeds of another is to show appreciation for their contribution. To bring honor to our country is to give of ourselves above and beyond what is normally expected. To honor the self requires sacrifice - to make sacred our roles abilities and talents. If we share these gifts with those we serve, without desire for reward and with an open heart, we will receive joy as a reward.
This is such an appropriate reading for today! Because honor is so very much what he was about. He did his job, with all of himself, all of his ability and he was prepared to make the biggest sacrifice. If he was ordered to do terrible things or they were part of battle there is no dishonor. The fact these things haunted him is a credit to him. Maybe there were things he did that he could have done differently, maybe some images would never leave, maybe there was guilt while he was alive, I doubt he would ever have admitted to it. I can see how that guilt would remain as unresolve in some one like him.
Any individual acts he committed and their attendant unresolve is not what he has to deal with now. They will be played out in life, in the relationships he has with those people. It is his guilt he has to accept and let go of.
Saturday, 25 February 2012
D is for Dream
Dreams are a huge subject for me right now becuase I am trying to learn to be a Dreamer.
We have lost the concept of the Dreamer in much of Western society but it was once an important and sacred role. This goes back millenia. Malta has megalithic temples older than the pyramids, currently the oldest are believed to have been built around 3500 BC. The statue above was found in one of these temples. She is a Dreamer.
So what is a Dreamer?
This is my understanding so far, I have a long way to go though! A Dreamer is someone who uses Dreams to access alternative realities with control and they may do so for guidance and healing among other reasons. We all dream and have some degree of ability but it is control that makes a Dreamer, as well as a natural ability I guess too.
My Hubby hardly ever remembers his dreams and gains very little from them. I remember a large number of dreams and am able to interpret them (with the help of friends!) and have gained a large amount of assistance from them but even so, I do not consider myself a Dreamer, yet.
Dreamers are lucid, or awake within their dreams so that they can navigate them at will. They can re-enter a dream to gain additional understanding and can even enter other peoples dreams to assist them. To them, Dreams are as much of a gateway to other realities as a journey with a drum. They are also able to interpret dreams.
This is not just something that happens at night though. The Dream is always there with every breath and a skilled Dreamer can pass into it at will, awake or asleep. Synchronicity is also an aspect of the Dream. Follow them....
I am a long way from being a Dreamer. I am semi-lucid in that I am actively thinking within the dream but I am not fully aware or in control. My dream interpretation skills need a lot of work! I can occasionally re-enter a dream, but only if I have not woken up very much.
So how did I find Dreaming? Well, I have long been interested in dreams and every so often I would have a strong dream, one just so full of meaning that I could not ignore it. One day I had a dream where there was a book, it was a huge old book of knowledge, like a prospectus and I was shown several pages within the book. I could only remember two of the pages when I woke and these were Dreaming and Cooking but it was Dreaming that made my heart skip a beat in excitement.
I began to read about dreaming and one day my friend Suzi introduced me to the blog of Wapeyit, who is an Indigenous Dreamer and my learning continues.
Soetimes I wonder if I am meant to be a Dreamer, but I guess things have been made pretty clear to me. Shortly after the dream I had to paint an intuitive picture of myself for a class called BIG. The image came very strongly to mind. A blue woman lying on her side, the image in my mind was of a pretty fat woman but I couldn't bring myself to paint myself that fat, so the lady in my painting is pretty curvy. Although she is obviously asleep, people on the course felt it looked somehow like she was swimming, moving.
A while later, Suzi recommended I read Supernatural by Graham Hancock. This book really blew my mind wide open. It linked varous experiences I had had with a whole bunch of things others have experienced that I just could not credit as being local or real and linked it all up somehow with my scientific understanding of certain things and voila, I was able to believe in alternate realities and Shamanism. It was not an easy read and it is probably the slowest I have ever read a book that gripped me so!
The book contains several pictures painted by Pablo Amaringo who painted the journeys he took while under the influence of Ayahuasca. They are very beautiful and compelling. The very first colour image in the book was very full but in one corner there was a lady I recognised, for all that she was green this time. A fat sleeping lady on her side, in pretty much exactly the same pose. I began to wonder if my BIG painting had drawn on some pre-existing archetype and I suspected she was a dreaming.
Very recently F and I started looking at honeymoons. After something my Mum said, I started looking at Malta. I have been there before, about 20 years ago, so it astounded me that having previously done the tours, I had never even heard of the megalithic temples there! I have no idea why these things seem to have been kept so quiet... I brought a book, only a rough guide, but it mentioned an enigmatic statue of a sleeping Goddess. And I had a suspicion right then.
I was right, and there she is at the top of the post. Fatter than the green ayahuasca lady and a lot fatter than the lady I let myself paint but recognisable. And she Dreams.
Saturday, 18 February 2012
J Donald
I always knew I had a Scottish ancestor called Donald, who dropped the Mc from his name when he left Scotland. Half remembered family lore has that he came from the Cairngorms but we know for sure he settled near Ipswich. Although my Gran does not remember him she eventually chose to move back to that same area and now lives a short walk away from his old home. I think she spent the first few years of her life round there too.
So as I went back, I was not surprised to find him. I am not surprised he seems to have left a strong legacy in my family because one thing is for sure, he was a strong man. This is his story, as much of it as I know anyway.
He was born in Scotland in 1828, probably in the Cairngorms which are one of the few remaining true wildernesses left in the UK. Vast (by UK standards), empty, they are a range of mountains far to the north where reindeer have been reintroduced successfully to the UK.
He would probably have had some education as given his later life, it is likely that he he could read and write. He was a member of the MacDonald clan (according to family lore and his surname) and the fact that because of this, we could trace our heritage back to Robert de Bruce was passed on down through the family.
He left Scotland though to become a soldier in the 72nd Highlanders. He probably spent some time at Colchester as it is likely that this is where he met his future wife E. By the age of 26 (when I can first find him) he was already a Sergeant and based in Ireland. The year was 1854 and he was posted to the Crimean during this year, but before he went, he married E in Cork.
Who knows if she had been living with him unmarried before they married or whether being sent to war caused her to travel over there to marry sooner than they had planned.
In the Crimean he fought at Sebastopol. The Crimean was a grim war but somehow he survived and returned to Ireland where he had and Elizabeth had their first child J R (my great great Grandfather) in 1856. In 1857 E gave birth to their second child, T J but he was born in Wollwich and J Donald left for the Indian Mutiny.
He fought at the Siege of Kotah as well as (no idea if I have spelt thes right as I can not read the handwriting very well) the Battle of Burnass & Oodeypore. While he was gone E and the two children moved to Colchester.
I found a little more information on Oodeypore and it is quite a story. 100 men of the 72nd were mounted on camels and joined with 275 sabres of cavalry and two 9 pounder guns to form a small column. They were ordered to pursue with utmost speedthe rebels under Rao Sahib and Tantia Topee. They left on 23rd of November 1858 and marched 241 miles in nine days with the last part being through dense jungle. They surprised 3500 mutineers and caused them considerable losses and the mutineers dispersed following this. They rejoined the main forces in May of 1859 after 17 months under canvas and traveling over 3000 miles. See here and here.
On his return he remained a soldier and they had three further boys, all born in Kingston. He was still a soldier at the age off 33 in 1861 but by 1871 the family was living at Portsea and he was a Prison Warder. This was again a grim task as conditions in prisons were very bad at this time, but even so, it was a good job for a retired soldier.
By 1881 though the family had moved to Ipswich where E originally came from and J Donald was working as a Storekeeper at an Iron Works. He was 53 and was still in this job at 73, only five years before he died.
He was undoubtably a tough man, mentally and physically. He appears to have walked away from his family and his past when he left Scotland as no town is ever listed on the censuses. He must have been quite charismatic for E to travel to ireland and marry him there. She outlived him and lived by herself for her last few years, a few doors from her youngest son.
He had a very varied set of careers and this seems to have inspired his sons - all of whom worked but each seemed to emulate a different aspect of his working life. The eldest was a builders clerk and became the manager of a brickworks. The second eldest became a Drill Sergeant at a Royal naval school. The third started as an Iron Driller at the iron works (not sure what happened to him yet. The fourth became a teacher and later a Headmaster. The youngest was a steam engine fitter and then later on he was an Engineering Storeman.
He must have seen and done some dreadful things and survived some awful situations too. I don't get the sense that he was nasty man or difficult. He seems to have been well looked after since leaving the forces and his sons all went in very different directions and made a success of themselves. I fully intend to keep researching his life because there is just so much of interest.
So as I went back, I was not surprised to find him. I am not surprised he seems to have left a strong legacy in my family because one thing is for sure, he was a strong man. This is his story, as much of it as I know anyway.
He was born in Scotland in 1828, probably in the Cairngorms which are one of the few remaining true wildernesses left in the UK. Vast (by UK standards), empty, they are a range of mountains far to the north where reindeer have been reintroduced successfully to the UK.
He would probably have had some education as given his later life, it is likely that he he could read and write. He was a member of the MacDonald clan (according to family lore and his surname) and the fact that because of this, we could trace our heritage back to Robert de Bruce was passed on down through the family.
He left Scotland though to become a soldier in the 72nd Highlanders. He probably spent some time at Colchester as it is likely that this is where he met his future wife E. By the age of 26 (when I can first find him) he was already a Sergeant and based in Ireland. The year was 1854 and he was posted to the Crimean during this year, but before he went, he married E in Cork.
Who knows if she had been living with him unmarried before they married or whether being sent to war caused her to travel over there to marry sooner than they had planned.
In the Crimean he fought at Sebastopol. The Crimean was a grim war but somehow he survived and returned to Ireland where he had and Elizabeth had their first child J R (my great great Grandfather) in 1856. In 1857 E gave birth to their second child, T J but he was born in Wollwich and J Donald left for the Indian Mutiny.
He fought at the Siege of Kotah as well as (no idea if I have spelt thes right as I can not read the handwriting very well) the Battle of Burnass & Oodeypore. While he was gone E and the two children moved to Colchester.
I found a little more information on Oodeypore and it is quite a story. 100 men of the 72nd were mounted on camels and joined with 275 sabres of cavalry and two 9 pounder guns to form a small column. They were ordered to pursue with utmost speedthe rebels under Rao Sahib and Tantia Topee. They left on 23rd of November 1858 and marched 241 miles in nine days with the last part being through dense jungle. They surprised 3500 mutineers and caused them considerable losses and the mutineers dispersed following this. They rejoined the main forces in May of 1859 after 17 months under canvas and traveling over 3000 miles. See here and here.
On his return he remained a soldier and they had three further boys, all born in Kingston. He was still a soldier at the age off 33 in 1861 but by 1871 the family was living at Portsea and he was a Prison Warder. This was again a grim task as conditions in prisons were very bad at this time, but even so, it was a good job for a retired soldier.
By 1881 though the family had moved to Ipswich where E originally came from and J Donald was working as a Storekeeper at an Iron Works. He was 53 and was still in this job at 73, only five years before he died.
He was undoubtably a tough man, mentally and physically. He appears to have walked away from his family and his past when he left Scotland as no town is ever listed on the censuses. He must have been quite charismatic for E to travel to ireland and marry him there. She outlived him and lived by herself for her last few years, a few doors from her youngest son.
He had a very varied set of careers and this seems to have inspired his sons - all of whom worked but each seemed to emulate a different aspect of his working life. The eldest was a builders clerk and became the manager of a brickworks. The second eldest became a Drill Sergeant at a Royal naval school. The third started as an Iron Driller at the iron works (not sure what happened to him yet. The fourth became a teacher and later a Headmaster. The youngest was a steam engine fitter and then later on he was an Engineering Storeman.
He must have seen and done some dreadful things and survived some awful situations too. I don't get the sense that he was nasty man or difficult. He seems to have been well looked after since leaving the forces and his sons all went in very different directions and made a success of themselves. I fully intend to keep researching his life because there is just so much of interest.
A Relative Fashion
I have an issue at the moment, just a little one, much less of a problem now I am trying to look it square in the eye. Or should I say much better now I am trying to look him square in the eye!
I have a Ghost.
This all started way back last year when I started researching my family tree. During this time, one of my colleagues had a dream in which there was a nasty ghost causing trouble and I told her it was my Grandfather. Apparently I got quite cross with the ghost. My colleague woke up quite scared.
I have had snippets of dream warnings too, but nothing so clear, but then my colleague and I work differently. She has previously seen a ghost for instance whereas I never have. Although I am beginning to think I may have felt their emotions in the past.
My snippets have been things like a warning that the ground water was dangerous, a dream where there was lots of chickens ready to cook but one of them had gone off and attracted lots of flies. And then this last week I had a much more focused dream. In it there was a train that stopped outside a town and when it did shadowy arms started reaching up through the floor and dragging the passengers down.
So I wondered about a ghost a few months back but I had no answers, nothing firm. So I waited. I didn't research my family tree over Christmas at all and I picked it up for the first time in quite a while, just last weekend. I only looked at my Mother's side as I was preparing a tree for my maternal Uncle. The following night I had the train dream and trains are like snakes, one of their meanings is ancestry, DNA and family.
I remembered that the train had been catching me at the crossing a lot the last few days. I had been going that way to work last year, taking a Colleague and we never got caught by the train once. A road is closed so I have started going that way again and been caught three times already, in just a few days. Also out of the blue, my colleague brought up having seen a ghost once. That was all I needed to confirm that indeed, I did have a ghost.
I did know that the depression I have been feeling this week wasn't entirely my own. I have learnt enough to know when stuff is mine or not, thankfully. When you feel others feelings it is very easy to get swallowed up in them, to believe they are your own. I wonder how much of my past depression has been other peoples emotions that I have been unable to deal with.
Lisa suggested I ask what the ghost wanted of me and watch for synchronicity, so I did. I am getting better at asking questions and listening for replies although I find it hard still to believe entirely the words I get back and not change them slightly. I got back that he just wanted to be remembered.
The only reference to the dead at work yesterday came out of the blue. We had put some AC/DC on and one of my colleagues said to me something along the lines of 'that'll wake the dead'. Waking the Dead is a TV programme all about uncovering the stories of the dead, typically those that died in an unpleasant way but it is this idea of uncovering the stories of the dead. So I knew I was right...
So I am going to be featuring a male ancestor each week on my blog, so I can put it out there and see what comes back. Maybe I can help them. Ghosts are spirits with unresolved issues. But this ghost is an Ancestor too. But this ghost may not be all about himself... There were a few other unexpected synchronicities yesterday.
A colleague's wife brought their baby in yesterday. And she was so lovely. I loved holding her and was left feeling quite broody. F and I decided a long time ago, 2007 to be precise, that if we had a girl we would call her Ruby. This was in part due to the song Ruby by the Kaiser Chiefs. Mostly it was because we loved the name. So I was sat there thinking about babies when this song came on the radio. Being an old song now it doesn't get played much. So then I am thinking about babies even more when an ad comes about a joint venture between the radio station and a baby accessories shop. It kind of burst through my thoughts with a 'don't you dare ignore me. I know you were not listening to the radio but I am important!' sort of a shout.
It kind of makes sense that an Ancestor might be a little interested in the next generation as well... And the truth is, i desperately want babies. F and I had even decided to start trying after the wedding. But I am fat and the thought of being pregnant with all this weight just scares me. But I know Ruby has been patiently waiting for a little while now (if I do get pregnant and I have a boy I am going to be so surprised! *laugh*) and she has been a feature in a few dreams and stories in one way or another.
So there we go....
Oh and as soon as I admitted there was a Grandfather lurking around the depression lifted. Now my baby related nerves and longings are more to the fore...
I have a Ghost.
This all started way back last year when I started researching my family tree. During this time, one of my colleagues had a dream in which there was a nasty ghost causing trouble and I told her it was my Grandfather. Apparently I got quite cross with the ghost. My colleague woke up quite scared.
I have had snippets of dream warnings too, but nothing so clear, but then my colleague and I work differently. She has previously seen a ghost for instance whereas I never have. Although I am beginning to think I may have felt their emotions in the past.
My snippets have been things like a warning that the ground water was dangerous, a dream where there was lots of chickens ready to cook but one of them had gone off and attracted lots of flies. And then this last week I had a much more focused dream. In it there was a train that stopped outside a town and when it did shadowy arms started reaching up through the floor and dragging the passengers down.
So I wondered about a ghost a few months back but I had no answers, nothing firm. So I waited. I didn't research my family tree over Christmas at all and I picked it up for the first time in quite a while, just last weekend. I only looked at my Mother's side as I was preparing a tree for my maternal Uncle. The following night I had the train dream and trains are like snakes, one of their meanings is ancestry, DNA and family.
I remembered that the train had been catching me at the crossing a lot the last few days. I had been going that way to work last year, taking a Colleague and we never got caught by the train once. A road is closed so I have started going that way again and been caught three times already, in just a few days. Also out of the blue, my colleague brought up having seen a ghost once. That was all I needed to confirm that indeed, I did have a ghost.
I did know that the depression I have been feeling this week wasn't entirely my own. I have learnt enough to know when stuff is mine or not, thankfully. When you feel others feelings it is very easy to get swallowed up in them, to believe they are your own. I wonder how much of my past depression has been other peoples emotions that I have been unable to deal with.
Lisa suggested I ask what the ghost wanted of me and watch for synchronicity, so I did. I am getting better at asking questions and listening for replies although I find it hard still to believe entirely the words I get back and not change them slightly. I got back that he just wanted to be remembered.
The only reference to the dead at work yesterday came out of the blue. We had put some AC/DC on and one of my colleagues said to me something along the lines of 'that'll wake the dead'. Waking the Dead is a TV programme all about uncovering the stories of the dead, typically those that died in an unpleasant way but it is this idea of uncovering the stories of the dead. So I knew I was right...
So I am going to be featuring a male ancestor each week on my blog, so I can put it out there and see what comes back. Maybe I can help them. Ghosts are spirits with unresolved issues. But this ghost is an Ancestor too. But this ghost may not be all about himself... There were a few other unexpected synchronicities yesterday.
A colleague's wife brought their baby in yesterday. And she was so lovely. I loved holding her and was left feeling quite broody. F and I decided a long time ago, 2007 to be precise, that if we had a girl we would call her Ruby. This was in part due to the song Ruby by the Kaiser Chiefs. Mostly it was because we loved the name. So I was sat there thinking about babies when this song came on the radio. Being an old song now it doesn't get played much. So then I am thinking about babies even more when an ad comes about a joint venture between the radio station and a baby accessories shop. It kind of burst through my thoughts with a 'don't you dare ignore me. I know you were not listening to the radio but I am important!' sort of a shout.
It kind of makes sense that an Ancestor might be a little interested in the next generation as well... And the truth is, i desperately want babies. F and I had even decided to start trying after the wedding. But I am fat and the thought of being pregnant with all this weight just scares me. But I know Ruby has been patiently waiting for a little while now (if I do get pregnant and I have a boy I am going to be so surprised! *laugh*) and she has been a feature in a few dreams and stories in one way or another.
So there we go....
Oh and as soon as I admitted there was a Grandfather lurking around the depression lifted. Now my baby related nerves and longings are more to the fore...
Friday, 17 February 2012
D is for Drum
A core bellief of Shamanism is that there are other realities. Some people have gifts that allow them to access these realities more easily than others but over the course of thousands of years a variety of techniques have been found. Everybody thinks of drugs but while these certainly work they are not the route I choose to take. People also fast and dance until they are exhausted as well but this is hard for most people holding down a 9 to 5 job....
The drum might not seem like a promising route to other realities but it is. There is something about the vibration of a drum and when it is played at a specific sort of speed it helps induce a trance-like state and from there you can Journey.
I tried to journey using CDs to begin with but had very limited success. I think the actual vibration of it is hard to replicate in a CD. So i found a drumming circle and that has really helped me to journey. And the more I journey the easier it becomes.
Each time I go it is as if I get a little better at finding my way around, although I have explored such a tiny fraction of all that is out there. So now I find it easier to journey at other times too, because I know the way. I have journeyed to my own heartbeat as well.
Not everyone takes to journeying straight away, some people take years to get the way of it. My other half has only just started doing these sorts of things and he has not gotten into it yet. Different senses will be stronger in the journey for different people to begin with.
I love journeying and although I have only recently started it, I can't imagine not doing it.
I recently had a drum dream and now that there is a spirit who would like to be in my drum, one is being made for me, as a home for this spirit. This is a huge thing for me. The drum is sacred and very personal. In the dream a reindeer was dying and I was told it was giving itself for my drum. Honouring that spirit is very important and I can not wait to hear it's voice and get to know it better.
If you want to read more about drums my teacher Lisa wrote this post.
The drum might not seem like a promising route to other realities but it is. There is something about the vibration of a drum and when it is played at a specific sort of speed it helps induce a trance-like state and from there you can Journey.
I tried to journey using CDs to begin with but had very limited success. I think the actual vibration of it is hard to replicate in a CD. So i found a drumming circle and that has really helped me to journey. And the more I journey the easier it becomes.
Each time I go it is as if I get a little better at finding my way around, although I have explored such a tiny fraction of all that is out there. So now I find it easier to journey at other times too, because I know the way. I have journeyed to my own heartbeat as well.
Not everyone takes to journeying straight away, some people take years to get the way of it. My other half has only just started doing these sorts of things and he has not gotten into it yet. Different senses will be stronger in the journey for different people to begin with.
I love journeying and although I have only recently started it, I can't imagine not doing it.
I recently had a drum dream and now that there is a spirit who would like to be in my drum, one is being made for me, as a home for this spirit. This is a huge thing for me. The drum is sacred and very personal. In the dream a reindeer was dying and I was told it was giving itself for my drum. Honouring that spirit is very important and I can not wait to hear it's voice and get to know it better.
If you want to read more about drums my teacher Lisa wrote this post.
Sunday, 12 February 2012
Books
I love books.
It goes just beyond loving the contents. I love the feel and the smell of them too (apart from in my house when they get a little too damp *sigh*).
My reading habits have changed greatly over the years. When I was young, I was voracious and I had ambition. I was catching up with all that had gone before and I was happy to fight with a book to get through. I loved Sci Fi and Fantasy most of all and so I battled with the greats too including some of H G Wells heavier books for istance.
As I have gotten older I have found that when I want to stretch, I read non-fiction. I like my fiction to be escapist. Easy. With a happy ending. Not to say I don't want the odd difficult or interesting concept though, I do.
I have been collecting books for years and yes I have purged occasionally but I find that i have kept a lot of books out of nostalgia. Take Anne McCaffery for instance. My favourite author for at least ten years of my life. I can't remember the last time I read one of her books now. I have certain books and series of books that are still all time favourites but others are more filler. I could fill a shelf with her books alone but do I really need to? Maybe I should just accpe that some of those series are ones I will never ever re-read.
So there are themes, certain authors who are just the best as far as I am concerned. But even with their books, there are gaps in my collection. I need to stop buying filler fiction in the supermarket and buy my favourites....
Part of the problem has been remembering which books I have from the title alone - some of the books have more than one title and the descriptions can be confusing. So many of my books have been in boxes for years. They are scattered around the house on different book shelves too, so pulling together an entire series can be tricky too....
So here is a list of the ones I really love...
Charles de Lint
Sharon Shinn
Sheri S Tepper
Jean Auel
Laurell K Hamilton
Stephanie Meyer
Charlaine Harris
Katherine Kerr
David Brin
Sarah Addison Allen
David Zindell
Raymond Feist
So I have let go all my Asimov books except the Foundation series. And I am looking at David Eddings Belgariad and Mallorean and wondering... Looking at all those Anne McCaffery books and wondering if I want all of the dragon books and every other series.... Do I want to keep all the teen pulp books I have been reading, even when I know I will still be buying the next book in the series - what happens if I forget the previous books?
As it is, I think a whole bunch of books will be making their way into work to see if my book reading colleagues wish to have any. And there are some real gems amongst the....
But you have to let go, to allow new books in. And I can only keep ones I really am going to re-read. I may find I have gotten it wrong - I have on occasions had to re-buy books, but the second hand books market is so cheap, it isn't exactly an issue. And really, i have not gotten it wrong very often and it was easily corrected. (I have only rebrought two books...)
but it is a big thing this letting go....
It goes just beyond loving the contents. I love the feel and the smell of them too (apart from in my house when they get a little too damp *sigh*).
My reading habits have changed greatly over the years. When I was young, I was voracious and I had ambition. I was catching up with all that had gone before and I was happy to fight with a book to get through. I loved Sci Fi and Fantasy most of all and so I battled with the greats too including some of H G Wells heavier books for istance.
As I have gotten older I have found that when I want to stretch, I read non-fiction. I like my fiction to be escapist. Easy. With a happy ending. Not to say I don't want the odd difficult or interesting concept though, I do.
I have been collecting books for years and yes I have purged occasionally but I find that i have kept a lot of books out of nostalgia. Take Anne McCaffery for instance. My favourite author for at least ten years of my life. I can't remember the last time I read one of her books now. I have certain books and series of books that are still all time favourites but others are more filler. I could fill a shelf with her books alone but do I really need to? Maybe I should just accpe that some of those series are ones I will never ever re-read.
So there are themes, certain authors who are just the best as far as I am concerned. But even with their books, there are gaps in my collection. I need to stop buying filler fiction in the supermarket and buy my favourites....
Part of the problem has been remembering which books I have from the title alone - some of the books have more than one title and the descriptions can be confusing. So many of my books have been in boxes for years. They are scattered around the house on different book shelves too, so pulling together an entire series can be tricky too....
So here is a list of the ones I really love...
Charles de Lint
Sharon Shinn
Sheri S Tepper
Jean Auel
Laurell K Hamilton
Stephanie Meyer
Charlaine Harris
Katherine Kerr
David Brin
Sarah Addison Allen
David Zindell
Raymond Feist
So I have let go all my Asimov books except the Foundation series. And I am looking at David Eddings Belgariad and Mallorean and wondering... Looking at all those Anne McCaffery books and wondering if I want all of the dragon books and every other series.... Do I want to keep all the teen pulp books I have been reading, even when I know I will still be buying the next book in the series - what happens if I forget the previous books?
As it is, I think a whole bunch of books will be making their way into work to see if my book reading colleagues wish to have any. And there are some real gems amongst the....
But you have to let go, to allow new books in. And I can only keep ones I really am going to re-read. I may find I have gotten it wrong - I have on occasions had to re-buy books, but the second hand books market is so cheap, it isn't exactly an issue. And really, i have not gotten it wrong very often and it was easily corrected. (I have only rebrought two books...)
but it is a big thing this letting go....
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