I started a blog some time a go. I lvoed it and it spawned two other blogs. I joined yahoo groups. Online book groups. Fashions chase around Bloglandia, read this book, try this, go there. A wealth of ideas, tutorials, competitions, things to do! And I made so many friends, each with their own set of blogs. It was great!
It got too much....
I walked away from it all.
I have done this before. it is something I recognise in myself. i seem unable to notice the warning signs that I am taking on too much, trying too hard, until it all goes boom and I can not even bare to do another miniscule thing. I played the recorder as a kid, I did exams, playe din musical groups. Someone persuaded me to have a go at the Clarinet. Two lots of lessons became too much and then BOOM! i gave it all up....
Same syndrome here.
As I have gotten older, I have learnt that somethings I walk away from when this happens. Some things survive and I come back to them and they become a steady part of my life. A happier, less frantic part.
I used my blog to try and reinvent myself and i slowly wrapped myself up in chains with it. this perfect idea of the life I wanted and the person i wanted to be. I was even sick of my dreams by the time I stopped writing. 101 things to do in 1001 days.... What a beast of a list that was....
In my time of absence, there are some things I really missed. Some things I did that have become things I liked a lot. I loved the list of books I had read that sat on my blog page. I suspect this may be of limited interest to others but I came to rely on it a little. Now I keep a book diary...
I also learnt that I still love to write and this has carried on into others things i do. I still write. i learnt that I miss writing somewhere about my thoughts, feelings and opinions. i learnt that I did not miss the feelings of having to write every day. It became a chore.
So I guess this blog is not a revisiting where I was or a starting in the same place. it is just a space I will write in. I miss my friends here, but you can not pick up and put down people too easily....
I still get a subject or a viewpoint I want to write about and I miss having somewhere to write. You can disagree all you want, but these are my thoughts and feelings, by all means add yours if you want, but be polite while you visit the inside of my head!
