Some Happy

I am a bit behind with my Happy book so have a couple of ads that made me smile instead!





Now I have never had Beroca but I do love both of these ads!

BIG and small

Now we all know about gremlins that stop us from doing things. Now sometimes we find ourselves in situations where it is not gremlins stopping us but other aspects of ourselves.

I had Glandular Fever followed by Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and although gone, it rumbles on and means I just can not fill my life up as much as other folk. I go to bed early and get very little done after work.

I learnt last year that too much fun over too long a period is just as tiring as working - everything caught up and I walked away from blogging and all the things that come with it for a while. I have learnt to take on less and to graciously walk away when it all becomes too much. Mostly.

I thought BIG and the Happy Book would be alright together but I have had to stop doing so much Happy. Sometimes the Happy tasks are too BIG to fit in a weekend with BIG and still have some energy left. I am getting near the end of BIG and I am so tired now.

But is that tiredness another gremlin? Maybe, but battling on is not the way round it, battling makes it worse. I have to skirt round it, know when to push and when to let it pull. Give and take. So now, other things are going to drop a little, to help me get through BIG, because BIG has a deadline and I made a commitment and I want to finish it.

So less Happy (well, there has been less Happy for a couple of weeks). Less looking at everyone else's BIG progress and commenting. Hopefully I can catch up with that before the Ning group vanishes..... Right now, I am BIG and I am small to.....

A Small Wish to Begin With

I feel a little lacklustre today. F came to bed late and got up early. I stayed up last night until he got in and wasn't able to stay asleep after he left again. I had a half formed plan to do a tourist day for the Happy Book but the weather was awful first thing - absolutely torrential down pour. I was thinking of visiting an area on Bodmin Moor where there is a carved standing stone, stone circles, holy wells, a quoit, a waterfall and a pool reputed to be the home of Excalibur and the Lady of the Lake. But not today - not a day I wanted to outside.

So I painted instead and I painted me.

Then I had a nap.

I have put some washing on - damp clothing from the back of the cupboard that happens to be blue. I started cutting little worms for my future rag rug last night and now I have more material to work on - well I will once it is clean and dry.

I have a vision for my bedroom.... That room I use to sleep in. I have a set of furniture inherited from my Grandma. Big furniture. A set for a big airy room in a grand house. Two wardrobes, a bed, two bedside tables and a dressing table. Dark, big, unsuitable, mouldy. I lvoe it - but not here, not now, not in my bedroom....

I want to buy a modular wardrobe system from Ikea. You fix poles between floor and ceiling and then suspend shelves, drawers and rails between them. This way everything is cleanable, air can circulate and it makes the most of space. I want to hang thin white curtains in front of them and at the window but dye them with blue first so they have three bands, white, light blue and darker blue. I want a white blind to keep the light out.

I want white walls and to paint the floor boards blue. I want a bed with storage underneath and no high footboard. I have an old trunk that went with an Uncle, generations back, to India and back. I want to remove the rust and repaint it to protect the metal. I want to sit in the big window. I want a chair and a lamp in the other corner. I want to feel like there is some space!

I want to get some nice whitish rope and make a net to put above the headboard to put little found things in. I want to make a mobile of shells, sea glass and bits of string found at the beach to hang in the window.

I want a room that is comfortable, practical, relaxing, light and airy. And I want two long thin rag rugs by each side of the bed, to warm our toes and be beautiful in their random variegated blueness

Time of my Life

So..... As Connie has posted, there is a lot going on this November and as much fun as it sounds, just like her, i don't feel like I want or have to do everything. I am really enjoying BIG, mostly, some times it is tough but I so want this.... I am also enjoying the Happy Book with Jamie Ridler but following that a little less thoroughly.

This week for instance is a problem for me - I have a bad memory so remembering which lines in books I loved when I read them before is tricky! This task is one that would be much, much better for me to do gradually over time. The books I am reading at the moment don't lend themselves to lines for the Happy Book either - the Queen Mum's biography and a teen vampire book...

I do however have a whole bunch of projects of my own that are a little on hold. I want to dedicate my time to BIG. This holiday season is going to see few of my family receiving birthday and Christmas presents that I have made..... I just can't face that much jewellery....

I want to make rag rugs, learn to crochet and make felt. I want to paint more silk scarves. I want to make a HAPPY freaky cuddly toy. I want to draw some isolated lines of my body in bright colour. I want to experiment with some filler I have on pieces of small wood board that were excess packaging at work. I want to paint layers of paint on to different textures and then scrap and sand......

The first week of BIG, I wanted to do every exercise a gazillion times. I was very conscious of my lack of recent painting experience and felt that I needed more dedicated time to relax in to BIG. This week I have no leave and the clock change has left me drained. I dedicated Sunday and I have a painting for this week's task but how much do I need to do?

I contribute to all the discussions, comment on blog posts and pictures and am fully part of the process.... but how much painting do I need to do? I think I need to start another one for this week to keep in the flow but I have no idea what... Maybe I should just turn up at the blank page and see what happens.....

Comfort

So this weeks's Happy Book post is all about Comfort. What brings me comfort...

It boils down to having all my needs met at one time. So being warm, well fed, comfortable, emotionally content.... So what makes me feel this?

Snuggling my man and my dog in bed
Hugging my Mum
Eating chocolate
Watching a fire
A quilt made by my Mum
A hot bath with a good book and a bar of chocolate
Feeling well fed and sleepy and warm....
That feeling as you wake after a good dream in a nice warm bed
Sitting on the sofa, doing whatever, TV watching, surfing the net on my laptop, making jewellery, but with the all important dog snuggled up.

So there you go, comfort is a simple thing.

I am sooo tired. 12 days of work with no break. Some very long days. Some bad nights sleep.

And here I am, at the weekend and I have so many things I want to do. I have not switched my Wii on in days and I have cheap shops to scour for paint and brushes. I did find some today three with the largest being 1" and I have plenty of small brushes but..... if I find some more cheap ones.... a nice big one maybe....

And paints... more colours of ready mix maybe...

I found a nice book for my BIG journaling with butterflies on the cover and the pages.

I want to set up some paper, tape up my plastic, I want to splash some paint and see what comes out.

I also want to finish my Happy Book stars page. I have to do some thank you letters, which would tidy up an old Happy task I failed to do. There is one or two of them lurking around, unfinished things.

But right now, I am just so tired and I can not wait for a lie in

Happy in the Now

This is a little Time Machine for the future so I can look back on my Happy in the Now, that was then...

So, it's the 9th October 2010 and the weather is odd. Supposedly we are having a mini heat wave but I think it is hitting further up (from what one colleague said yesterday, possibly only a few miles further up). It is windy. A bit dull. We have had early cold weather and our first ground frost but it is still pretty mild....

I am wearing a pair of black leggings and a black vest - slobbing aorund the house clothes...

Most played iPod songs - hmmmm. Well Linkin Park's a Thousand Suns has been getting a lot of play. And I am still loving the Twilight Eclipse soundtrack. My latest purchase is Frank Black's Frank Black which I am getting into but can not listen to when I am tired, just tooo hectic!

Movies.... I watched 27 Dresses the other night, a nice gentle cheery frolic. What did I love recently? I have no idea! but I love House and Strictly Come Dancing. Anne Widdicombe just danced a fantastic Salsa and House and Cuddy got together....

I am in love with F and I don't expect that to change anytime soon. I also love my girly college friends, my folks, my sister, my niece and nephew, S and last but not least, the lovely fluffy Little Dog.

I wish I owned the winning lottery ticket! (Maybe I should check my numbers sometime?)

Holiday destination? No idea? Maybe a honeymoon?

I am worried about... My friend in an unhappy relationship, My parent's dog with cancer, my dripping tap, how well I will sleep tonight as the Chinese I just ate sparked my allergies, the overtime I have to do over the next week.....

Most recent best moment - watching Anne Widdicombe do the salsa *grin* I love her!

The upcoming year - to get married, to have plenty and to get thinner.....

A Happy Future

One thing I really noticed about writing about the future was that my dreams seem to be a lot of looking back. They are things I have always dreamed of, things I have done in the past that I want to do again. My dreams were pretty predictable, pretty much like a lot of other peoples....

I want a nice life. A nice house. Money. To be fit and healthy. Family and friends.... Is that really surprising? How I want to get there though, that's the happy bit...

So here we go....!

Rose is a talented craftsperson, beloved wife and bad mother of three lives her ethos of 'behaving well is no fun, life should never be boring!' to the full. Her hair changes colour with the moon and she is curvy and athletic wearing funky but practical clothing. She loves a wide variety of things including arts and crafts, the natural world, sustainable and practical living and music.

Her life is full of activity, walking with her beloved dogs and children, tai chi, kayaking and horse riding feature heavily. Her home on the banks of one of the flooded river valleys of Cornwall is perfectly placed giving her access to the wooded creeks to ride and explore, with the sea only a short paddle away.

Her house and home are full of plants, her cupboards are stacked with the fruits of her kitchen and garden. Dinner is often cooked for friends and their children, including old college friends and ex-workmates, from the days she had to work. F is there in all aspects of her life, enjoying her crazy uniqueness!

The influence of science and the world around her is clear within all aspects of her life. Her family are at the centre of all she does.


OK - so where woud I find the time to do all that with three children under the age of five?

Reasons to be Happy (Mostly - not the wing thing though)

I am feeling warm and snuggly. I am sat with my legs up on the sofa, with a duvet over me. Little Dog is asleep between my legs, once of which is bent up to support my laptop above Little Dog's head. She is lovely and warm and whenever I wish I can reach over and caress a silky ear.

I am also pretty tired. I did a bit of Wii before work and a bit after. I have doodled a little. Work is on downtime s i started a spiral based doodle on an A4 sheet. A looong way to go with that! I like them. I find them quite satisfying.

I received some beautiful yellow beasties in the post today and a Happy Birthday banner, all drawn by the beautiful and talented Savannah! Thank you lovely lady!

I bought some dragonfly stickers to add to a happy sticker page in the Happy Book. The stickers did not however make me very happy. They were very hard to remove from the backing, rumpling wings and carapaces and even ripping the occasional wing. I am not sure I will ever be able to look at those stickers without thinking of ripped wings *sigh*

I also decided I didn't like my purple page. It did not give me pleasure.. So I found a chocolate foil wrapper - the inner one with no printing on it - in a lovely purple colour which will be my new purple page....

I like dragonflies... they look a bit like fairies and they are named after dragons.... They also come in some of the most beautiful jewel colours.

One more day and I have a day off...... Yay!

Play

I started talking about work and trying to explain stuff but there is no point. Those moments are gone and I have no desire to hold on to them.

I was sat with F earlier, with the TV up loud to cover up the sound of banging of a bulding sort from next door. Then we heard the tumble of stone into our fire place... F got up and had a look and ended up having a chat with the guy net door through a little hole!

I went over to say Hi which was interesting... I got to see inside my wall and explore the current causes of damp. But mostly they seemed nice and the whole thing was amusing. The hole will be swiftly filled up and they will no longer look for fireplaces! They don't have any!

I have been playing with my Happy Book a fair bit, on and off. Not just the pages we are doing in the book group. I have stickered pages, finger painted, listed games, talked about where I want to be five years from now... Some stuff I will post properly but I wanted to talk about games a bit....

I realized writing out a list of games I liked as a kid, how many games we used to play. Very few of these were computer based, even though we had a BBC computer. These games were also pretty social. Many of them were for large groups, some for four or less, a few for two and only a couple for one. It made me realise how social games should be. The more solitary the game, the more puzzle-like it is.... Patience, Solitaire, Mahjong....

As kids, games bind us together, they are how we have fun, how we learn. Why do we stop playing games? Or rather, why do we start playing different games? Do we change as adults or has the nature of games changed? Games are becoming more complex and computers are evolving so that they can also be highly social.

We all need a little fun in our lives here and there.... Where is the fun in mine? Often it feels like it missing.... I feel bored. I don't have to do anything... This weekend I did finger painting for the hell of it.... We all need to play to have fun. This is the fine line with craft - when is it play and when is it work?

Play... I need to play more....

Last night I started doodling...

This Week's Happy

I often read a few blogs before I go to work so I went to work having already seen the Happy Challenge for Week 4. I like this week's challenge, it feels like a happier, less daunting one for me. I struggled with this week's. Anything a little tricky, I seem to have to sit on for a day or two and then the weekend is done and I then struggle to feel awake enough to do tricky things after work.

So... gratitude letters.... sounds easy right? Maybe I like to make things too fancy and complicated. Maybe I need to keep things simple and straightforward. I will get too this task, just not quite yet.... I like the idea of putting together a collection of happy packages for my sister with a difficult life, more than I like the idea of thanking her for instance (She is a single Mum with two beautiful, very non-average children and an ex who pays her nothing so she works as well - not an uncommon situation, true, but few would claim it was easy or expect it to never get them down)

But the music.... I can do this. So at work, I asked a colleague (young, pretty, hectic life) what song really makes her happy and want to dance. The answer was Insomnia by Faithless.



Only thing was, then she wanted to know why...

So I told her.

Which led to me telling her about Mina and the trip to the supermarket and the cheese display. (last week's happy offering)

Which led to Wreck This Journal and taking my journal for a walk through muddy puddles and all, tied on a piece of string.

I had her in hysterics.

And then two other colleagues came in and she was like, tell them, tell them....

So I did (the four of us are quite close and lucky unpleasnat bullying Boss was no where close so I didn't mind)

They too, were in hysterics. It was a good afternoon.

But they also told me their favourite happy dance around like a noonar songs of the moment Crash by The Primitives (40 something ex Goth / Armed Forces guy) ....



...and I Know You Want Me by Pitbull (40 something rocker). OK so the second one seems an odd choice but the reason he chose this song is that he last played it while his daughter was over and danced around to it and embarassed her a lot and everyone had a great time. (including the daughter, not that she would admit it!)



So, after all that fun, here is my favourite dance around happily song, one of my special happy songs. Something Good by the Utah Saints



And the delectable F chose Katrina and the Wave's, Walking on Sunshine. He actually played this to to me, when we first woke up after the first night I stayed at his place. (He doesn't remember, this is unusual for us, me to remember something and him not...)



Feel the happy! XXX

Reasons to be Happy

I don't much like my job. Mostly because of my boss but some days it just is so routine and dull. If nothing exciting happens, I spend my days entering data. Today I feel really tired, not sure why, but things are fine...

I have many reasons to be happy.

1) My Boss was absent today! Yay and yay again!

2) My Happy Book finally arrived and it is lovely..... So many lovely ideas and things to do and think about. So much joy within one book....

3) I spoke to F earlier in the day and knew he was doing tea. I had no idea what he would cook. When I met F over 7 years ago, he didn't really cook. I can take no credit for his learning, he is a pretty determines sort of a chap! So what did he cook? Lasagne... Not with sauces out of a jar or anything, he cooked the sauces! he made a white sauce! I so have noooo idea how to do that.... It was so lovely!

4) There is left over lasagne so that I can have some for lunch as well! Yay!

5) My Mum found my trollbead bracelet (no beads as yet but a lovely bracelet, tree troll catch and safety chain). I thought I had lost it but it seems I left it in a pot on the dressing table in the spare room.

6) My dog is all cute and cuddly and keeping my feet warm.

7) My hair isn't showing orange quite yet...

Oh and have some cows! These made me smile today!

The Magnificent Adventures of Mina the Mouse

I started a little late so I decided to combine both exercises in one, with my lovely little friend, Mina the Mouse!

Mina had to spend a lot of time in my bag while I worked, because she just didn't have the security things sorted out... By the end of the week, she confided in me, that she felt more at home in my bag than in her own bed....


One night after work we decided to visit the beach.... She was amazed how big the sky is over the sea! (That is her pointing at the sky in the bottom left)


Mina discovered that cliffs have toes (yes they do!)


She played in the sand and made a beautiful circle out of pebbles with a sand spiral in the middle.


We admired the way the sparkle of the sea...


She was feeling a bit hot and sandy after all that so she had a little paddle, but it was a bit fresh! (It may not look like it, but the sea is trying to whisk Mina away! She was a little scared but she won't admit it...)

(As I walked back across the beach, I had to giggle a little as I realised a wet, sandy mouse tail was hanging out of my bag)

Back at the house, she was feeling full of salt and sand so she decided to have a nice bath to relax and get clean...

***

Mina even visited the supermarket with me! She was overcome with awe when we reached the refrigerated aisle. All that cheese! Yum! She had to go and touch the packets and have a sniff to make sure it was all real... (Oh my did I find this one embarassing! I was not sure that I would not wimp out)

***

We went for another walk, another evening. Along the cliffs in the gloaming to enjoy the wind. Little Dog raced around with the wind up her tail. Mina loved it too! Although she found the trees a little startling! The wild winds keep them small and these thorn trees have not dared to grow very tall at all. They are either buckthorn, blackthorn or hawthorn. She had to climb a thorn tree lining the path.... (It was not as dark as it looks)


When we returned home, Little Dog and Mina had a cuddle on the sofa.... Isn't that just full of heart?

***

So this morning, Mina woke up quite early and did her normal morning things. She ate her cheese and drank her milk and curled up in her nice warm bed to read the Mouse Times, her favourite newspaper. She was a little distraught to hear the moon has no cheese, as confirmed by some valiant mouse explorers and she was angered when she read the theory that cats had gotten there first (Little Dog offered to help Mina hunt cats as revenge). Mina then noticed the photo of Miss Glamour Mouse 2010! And so began Mina's photo shoot!


Miss Mina Mouse and her treasure! Cheese! She was very polite about the jewels but she was very firm that cheese is where it is at...


Um... Probably the less said about this picture the better... It's red... The items she is posing with are probably what you think they are... Yes she is surfing and er.... Mina is a very liberated female mouse whom the sufragettes would have been proud of! (This photo made me giggle, I hope it does you to!)


Mina gave me a big hug to celebrate her week (although she is a little glad to retreat to her shelf, with her books, where she can watch everything.... Can you see her smile?

***

Go see what everyone else has been up to this week!

Time Out

Not sure I have much to say but for some reason, when I blog, I feel I have to check in everyday.... This is a bad habit. I ended up feeling like I had to post and then BOOM! I stopped altogether. I do seem to have a boom or bust personality. All or nothing. Frequently, nothing.

I did have a little fun today. I took my Happy Book mascot, Mina the Mouse to the beach (more on that later this week). The bit that amused me the most was as I was leaving the beach. I suddenly realised that the bag on my shoulder had a long damp, sandy mouse tail hanging out....

I realised on the beach that I have not spent enough time, stepping out of time. That bit of time at the beach was separate, No pressure, no stress. Just sun, sand and sea.... F is on the wrong shift today for me to see him at all, but just the right one so I felt no guilt about not going home. He finished work as I started and then started again as I finished.

This meant I didn't need to worry about Little Dog. Although I did feel guilty but I couldn't have taken her as the dog beach ban is still active for a few more weeks.

I need to do things like this more. And now I have broken free from World of Warcraft again, I need to ensure F breaks free now and again....

On that note, I found a really fun event for Halloween and F is up for going to, maybe with S as well. The Eden Project's Skate and Scare... The Eden Project is an old gravel bit that got taken over and turned in to a tourist attraction. It contains environmental educational things with two biomes - one tropical and one hot and arid one. They have a funky artistic sort of style and collaborate with various charities. They regularly do new things - such as put up a skating rink each winter or host pop concerts.

The Skate and Scare is an evening event for over 12's involving the biomes in pitch dark.... (and maybe some ice skating as well) oh what fun that sounds... F agreed.... Yay!

Lounging About

I am sat here not doing an awful lot.... I want to do more but my body is crying out for a bit of a breather. Our holiday was so jam packed and while very enjoyable it was certainly not restful! I want to do more though...

I have done a bit... I cooked breakfast and sliced up a melon for future use and made smoothies. Then I finished off the herringbone bracelet I have been working on for my Mum. Part of me wants to go out and take photos for the TNC scavenger hunt but the other wants to crawl back in to bed and have a snooze...

i had an idea about the scavenger hunt - I missed photographing my mascot so why not combine the two? I could even find things from the point of view of my mascot....

It doesn't help me want to do things, knowing I have a full evening ahead of me. We are double booked (how does this happen when we don't actually go out that often?). So we have to go for a meal in one town and then out to the pub in another. I know I will have a lot of fun but I also know I will be tired tomorrow and perhaps have a headache.... *grin* oh and then S is coming over.

So is it a bad thing that I want to do nothing? Probably not....

Limp is the word.

Now do I have the courage to choose a mascot and embarass myself in the pub by taking a picture of it boozing? hmmm

Maybe I should go have a nap...

Happy Heart

My horoscope informed me I was either coming down with flu or thoroughly and completely disheartened.... hmmmm....

Being completely and utterly disheartened isn't a big shock. Being back at work is horrid really. Really, really depressing. One of my colleagues has admitted that he has not gotten back in to it since returning from his holiday - nearly three weeks ago. So this malaise infecting me isn't just about me.

I need perking up - I need to refocus from work to outside of work if I am to be happy any time around about now.

After work, Little Dog and I went for a walk on Big Hill. Although there was blue sky and sun, there was also haze. All the landmarks - towns, other hills, the far cliffs were hazy or invisible. I felt like I was up there all alone. I wasn't - I met two other dogs and their owners.

Little Dog and I also had an incident. As we approached the car, there was a van parked there as well, with the window open and a trace of chip paper sticking out. Little Dog in true unruly fashion raced up to the van, drawn by the smell and jumped up to look in the window. I called out to her and made the lady in the van jump.

It was a little embarassing but kind of funny... I apologised a lot and got a glimpse of a little boy and a man and ran for my car. Little Dog meanwhile was running around and being as fast as she is, I couldn't keep up with where she was... I opened the door and called her and then turned around to see if I could spot her, but before I had even turned around, I heard the sound of dog behind me leaping into the car. I could hear the little boy and the man talking about where she was... Oh there she is, no, she's there!

At least she helped me make a swift escape! The lady gave me a grin as I pulled out...

So I came home and was on the prowl in Bloglandia when I came across Jamie Ridler's The Next Chapter about The Happy Book this time. I have done previous book things in Bloglandia and all sorts of other things too... In fact I took on a little too much for some one who need slots of sleep and works full time. But maybe this little one would be good for me... Getting me to look for the happy in things...

I ordered my copy...

I need a lift at the mo. Work feels too hard to be entirely happy....

Oops.. forgot to add a link! Go here...