Lots going on, underneath the surface. Although I am making progress, sometimes I feel a bit stuck right now. I am not sure where my path is headed or what I can do to help things. Somethings my teacher, Lisa, said, helped me understand that some of what I am feeling is universal right now, following the meteorite. What is not universal though is my feeling of fear of the future or my feeling of being a bit stuck.
I think I need to go back to writing a journal, day to day.
I think, when the dreaming next gives me a gift, I need to grab it with both hands and not um and ah till the door closes again.
Since the shamanic weekend we attended three weeks ago, we have been trying to eat better. Buying decent quality meat from a local award winning butcher. Eating lots of veg. Cooking from scratch. I have been enjoying it but as always, when I start being good with food I notice that some foods do not really agree with me. I have had to reduce my wheat intake considerably.
F has been monopolising the computers which was alright to begin with but over the course of a few weeks has become increasingly irritating. He could not play the game he wished to play on his so he started using mine. He moved his monitor over and his keyboard. Moved a lot of the things on my desk off and his things on. He started to live on my computer, taking up a lot of the available space in the room, in more ways than one. He left the other computer keyboardless. To add to this, while playing his game, he would often be chatting to friends. The software for that is on the other computer, so he would be sat here using both computers and taking up all the space.
One day I came up to use the spare computer and he made me feel pretty uncomfortable. There had to be much sortingout of keyboards before I could even begin. It just generally felt like I could not be in here. Today I got up before him and I am still here even though he is awake. I know the second I leave the computer, he will be on it like a Hawk! It is frustrating... It has made it less natural to do my things online and I miss them. No easy days of Ancestral research. No blogging, for I find it hard to write a post when I am a bit cross!
I have created a new blog. Mostly because I had to have a wordpress account in order to read some blogs I wanted to. It felt wrong to create a blog and write nothing on it, so I have. It feels like a different sort of space to here. Here things have developed into a fairly concrete sort of a blog. There is little whimsy and magic, for this is a place of thought and striving for understanding.
You can visit it at http://magpieblues.wordpress.com/