Well this moon has been characterized by a general downward slide in energy levels. I didn't go down as far as I had sunk after our honeymoon but I did go down. The weekends became more and more about sleeping and life settled in to a pattern of energy conserving and getting through the working week and then crashing at the weekend.
The big thing during this week was the arrival of my Sister and her kids and it was lovely to see them but really, I was too tired to cope well. I was good and held it together mostly with them but my frustrations clearly show on this blog. I slept whenever I could, sometimes even in just a few minutes while I was alone in a room.
In large ways this holiday was not about my sister and I spending time together though and my sister clearly showed that this was not her prime aim. The children were, and this included S. The bit that really upset me was that Thursday was to be our last evening together, she was to have already eaten before she came over and after this we would only see her briefly before she left Saturday. Anyway, I brought dessert and borrowed a film I thought everyone would like, but they did not show. At 7.30 I had a call telling me that she had decided to treat S to a meal as it was their last night together and they had just ordered. I was very hurt. I told her that I go to bed at 10 and the closer it gets to that time the more difficulty I have with things. I also pointed out that as she did not want S to stay the night she needed to remember that F was on an early shift and would then have to drive S elsewhere. There was no question of us joining them, we had already eaten and it would have taken a while to get where they were. i was very, very hurt.
I know my Sister feels bad. I know she just packed too much in to the day and it was too late and everyone was hungry. I even got a sorry from her later. But she turned up here at 9.30 and after a full on week and working, it was just too much. F and I still have quite a bit of Vienetta to eat though *laugh*
The thing is, we did not lose it at each other but I expressed enough for her to kow how hurt I was and she said enough so I knew where her head had been. I can not remember the last time she said sorry to me. Believe me, this is some progress between us....
And that was it for the Moon really. Sleeping and dealing with what life brought to me.
So this was my song for the Moon. It literally jumped out at me. I was at work with one colleague and we had the radio on and this came on and Boom! The more I read the words too..... And then I found the words Dream On for my Dreamboard that night. And after years of neither of us ever hearing this song, it was on the radio all the time.
My totem for this Moon turned out to be Horse, which was not a huge surprise, I was very strongly drawn to them about this time. My dream though took me back to younger days and tending to the needs of Horse. Not about riding them and the wild freedom but literally shoveling s***. I guess this true right now for me, I am tending the energy, nurturing it, conserving it, definately not using it! This dream went on though into another one all about my Dragon totem for Breaking Masks the next moon. However Breaking Masks will be skipped in this sequence because the next moon is a Blue Moon. Breaking Masks is my current moon of the year however and this too comes to an end soon, and then I start my year of Reason. I shall do posts for both....
My picture is this one....
http://www.flickr.com/photos/delartful/5409690936/
And I love it, it sums it up beautifully. Surrendering to the Dreaming, to the tides of what will be, Sleeping. Those could even be Dandelion seeds carrying wishes....
She sat on the top of the cliff, her back to the sea.
She sat in a field full of Dandelions and their seed.
She sat as her Dreaming self took flight into the sea.
She sat as she was carried away, as she was freed.
She danced on the Waves and explored undersea Caves
She flew through the air and left behind all her cares
She went everywhere and nowhere
She grew wings and she grew fins
She never wanted to return to all that made her blue
She searched coral gardens and rainbows
She hunted for a door her body could step through
She moved through stars and dark matter
She could not find a gate anywhere
and then she remembered, the one place she had not searched
a field where a sleeping girl sat dreaming amongst the dandelion faeries
and a gate glowing within her body
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