Spider Gate

I was gutted I could not go  to the Gathering but, I did go to a Blue Moon chat online.  During this chat, an invite popped up on my Facebook to go to a Firewalk on the 1st of September, the day after the full moon.  F was sat right next to me at the time and to my surprise he said yes, he wanted to go too.  I couldn't figure out which gates I was supposed to be thinking of trying to cross so I decided to leave it to the Dreaming and trust.

The Firewalk began with an afternoon led my MJ of Chants and Drums who took us on a journey through sacred and healing music.  It was a beautiful experience and words fail me in trying to describe both giving and receiving sound healing.  We ate and then moved on to the Firewalk.

We began by preparing the fire, moving the logs, pouring on oil, all the while setting intentions.  We stood in a circle round the fire as twilight began and then something very strange happened.  There was a buzzing, as if a really, really huge insect was there, and it would have been the biggest insect I had ever seen.  It started really close to me and then in moved around the circle several times.  And not one person could see it.  It came really close, so close it should have been right in my face.  Even stranger, F thought we were all looking at something, he does not remember hearing it at all.  I think we were visited by something, blessed, but I have no idea what, except it had wings and was pretty big...

we carried on and we confronted our fears by breaking an arrow against our necks, with the point in the soft part of our throat.  I have yet to wind wool round mine and make it into a prayer arrow, but I shall....

And then it was time and we went into the dark to walk fire.

under the light of the blue moon.

and again words fail.

and yes I was scared but you have admit your fear, be realistic about your obstacle and then do it anyway, picturing yourself on the other side....

I wondered whether this would count as passing the Spider Gate and Lisa confirmed it did but I also had a dream.  In the Dream I was at my spirit home walking from the front to back garden.  Little Dog dashed through the Side gate before me and I turned to lose it behind us, only to realise that a huge spide was sat on it.  It was the size of a tarantula but spiky instead of hairy...  I quietly continued closing the gate and respectfully retreated and watched it.  unfortunately Little Dog saw it and began to bark at her.  She shot a bit of web at her at which Little Dog took off, dragging the Spider behind her.  I shouted for my Dad and because I started running through different scenarios of what to do with the Spider when we finally stopped the Dog, the dream ended.  I do know that despite such options as boot and stone that I had decided not to kill the Spider because it belonged in a zoo and not to leave it in the garden because it would die when the Winter came.

I woke up pumped...  and then I was upset because I thought maybe I had failed the test beause I had been scared.  But then I realised the lesson came after I had passed through the side gate, the gate with spider on it, the Spider Gate, the SpIDEr Gate.  And how cool is that?

I think the lesson was about how fear should be respected.  The things we should be afraid of are things that can hurt us and those we love and fear is what helps us survive.  It helps us to have to energy to fight or to run (it took me ages to come down and get back to sleep!).  We should respect fear but not let it rule our lives or our actions.  I guess in deciding not to kill the Spider maybe I did pass....

So I have bee initiated into one gate by the life and the Dreaming and it was not how I expected it to be at all.  It was also not the gate I was expecting either, not at all.  But it was an incredible experience from start to finish, and who knows what will come next as I walk with Spider.