Return to Welcoming

This is my second Moon of Welcoming that I am consciously traveling.  I wrote about the first one here.  I have learnt a lot about my process since then.  I write a post looking at the Moon and how it has been in my life up to that point and then, afterwards I review that Moon cycle and see what I have added.  When I first write about it, I tend to pretty quickly afterwards have a dream which gives me some indication of my totem for that Moon.

I never did look at the Moon of Wlecoming throughout my life though, which I think I need to cover a little.  I did however write another post about Wasp.  My intention for this cycle is to look more deeply at my totems for that Moon and how they relate to that Moon.

I have traveled through three years of this Moon and in a few years time I shall have my fourth.  My first was when I was one.  I remember very little!  My parents moved into our family home on my first birthday and this was such a special home for me.  The house was long and thin so you walked through one room to get to the next and there was two staircases to get upstairs.  My parents gave me the bedroom nearest theres and I loved it.  On one side, there was a tiny window tucked under the eaves and clematis used to grow in and on the other, a huge dormer window poking out of the roof that just sucked in light.  The floor sloped down to the sides, the walls were croaked and wobbly and as I lay in bed i would listen to the comforting sounds of the house adjusting as the wood frame expanded and contracted.

14 was a bad year however.  It is the year I first became ill with glandular fever, my first year of GCSE's and the year I first got my heart a little scratched up.

My sister had a birthday party at our house and invited all her cool friends from Sixth Form College.  I met a boy called Tim who was very, very cool.  He had the whole tortured artist thing going on as well.  he had second thoughts about my age afterwards but i managed to contact him via another friend of my sisters.  Afterwards we used to talk on the phone some and one time he sent me a mix tape, which really ecpanded my music taste n nea and appreciated directions.  He is the person that introduced me to the Pixies.

We arranged to meet at a pub and go on to a party and my sister and her boyfriend took me.  When we got to the pub however, Tim was off his trolley - not sure if it was just drink or more.  He was a bit off anyway and we never really even went into the pub before my sister and her boyfriend whisked me away.

My sister and Mum were really dismissive of the whole thing and tried to stop me from talking on the phone to him.  I am not sure how exctly this whole situation could have been handled differently but I was ill and feeling powerless anyway and I ended up pretty depressed.  I understand that my family did not want me getting into hot water and seeing a boy who looked pretty unsuitable, but...  it was hard.  Losing that battle soaked away some of my power and ability to rebel and make my own path.  I was ready to stand on my own two feet a little. 

My third time through was not too good either.   I started my third year at Uni and gave up smoking.  i think giving up smoking triggered my underactive thyroid, although it was not apparent, possibly, in blood tests at the time.  I suddenly started to gain weight and became depressed, I even tried Prozac, which I hated.  I worked way too hard and got a first, but it was an unpleasant and stressful year.  Luckily F was on the scene...

Not feeling too good seems to be a feature of this year!  I was ill last time we had this Moon in January with a bad ear infection and I have been feeling somewhat up and down ever since.  The opposite of Welcoming is Rejecting and the last two years I have certainly had rejection feature - rejection of a boyfriend, rejection fo cigarettes....

But back to Wasp.  Last Moon of Welcoming I had a dream that yellow bonnet was flying around my face.  When I was a baby ( I must have been one and in Welcoming because we were in the new house), a Wasp flew in my window and stung me on the face while I slept.  After the Moon of Weloming, I had a discussion about Wasp which I talked about in this post here which was very powerful and changed the way I related to Wasp.  I have no idea if Ted really understands how much he helped me with this....

Then during the Moon of Inter-Relations I had two Wasp dreams and what is really interesting, is it was at this time I was diagnosed with Underactive Thyroid.  my ill health stemmed from the Moon of Welcoming and when it was resolved in Inter-relations, it wa Wasp who came to visit.  In one My fore finger and thumb were seized up with a Wasp caught between them, struggling to be free and it broke in two leaving me holding the stinging end.  Ted pointed out that Wasps stings are as much medicine as poison.

In the second dream my Wasps were burrowing under my house and decided they needed more room and started burrowing outwards.

I take all this to mean that I have done some valuable work on my Moon of Welcoming, enough so that my health probelms have been brought to light and I have my medicine (which would be poison to some).  My Wasp is feeling healthy enough to expand it's horizons.  I think things are looking up for my Wasp.  Next I am going to delve further into Wasp as a totem, and try and relate it to Welcoming.