Killing the Rabbit

So having decided I needed the shawl.... and the clary sage.... and the rabbit... I returned to the shop on Sinday - closed. I left work and hurried there monday, closed and Tuesday, closed. Literally only just, but closed is closed.

So yesterday I left work early and I got in, just in time. I whirled around and grabbed the three things I had to get. As I was paying a song came on, Midnight City by M83. This is a song I heard once on MTV Rocks and fell in love with. It is definately a song that I have connected with. And here it was on in the shop as I brought three things I felt I had been drawn too buy.

I felt reaffirmed.

I left and went to the supermarket. Phoned F to see if he knew of anything we needed. He called me back after a few minutes and then I went in and did my shopping. I returned to my car and started to pull out. A lady was walking to the car next to me. I saw her, pulled back into my space and called her name.

She is someone I have known for years but lost contact with for some time. I used to go to a spiritual church with her. I stopped going because I struggled with the religious aspect of it, and because the spirits never ever wanted to visit me. It was lovely to reconnect. Things have moved on for her, now a spiritual healer and a Medium she told me of a meditation circle she goes to and another church she visits which is smaller than the one we used to go to.

I knew I was supposed to be there right then to talk and to make connections to other things. maybe it is time to explore some of those things again.

I said about my previous troubles with it and she told me in no uncertain terms that I had always blocked the spirits from visiting me. And I knwo she is right. My fear of opening myself up while sat in a graveyard for instance. Dealing with the ghost of JD was a challenge and his ability to visit my dreams speaks of a possible something within me, not just about his singular strength of character.... It terrifies me and I think it always has. There are hints around this and I know the things that scare us the most are often the things we have to look at most closely. I don't know where this will take me, what I will find, or if I will like it very much.

Connecting with my Ancestral Spirit Guide at a drumming circle a couple of months back helped. We spoke about JD and I think this guide has helped me deal with him somewhat. Either that or JD is a little less impatient now he has seen me read books and start the laborious task of putting together his story. Maybe both.

Anyway, there is things here to look at, to deal with. TOmorrow's Pagan Blog Project post will be on ghosts I htink so enough of them here for now.

This morning I arrived at work and there was two Crows eating something in the grass. I walked over to see what and there was the small corpse of a baby Rabbit.

Throughout the day the corpse became less Rabbit and more skin and bone.

As I left work, I saw three healthy adult Rabbits run off into the long grass. One passed and looked back at me.

The Rabbit is dead, long live the Rabbit!