Life Balance

So F got home just as I was finishing my last post and I told him I was going to drum for a bit.  My drum is amazing...  It may not have the loudest 'sound' in the audible sense.  In a group, it definately does not shout the loudest.  But those lower sounds the ones you hear as much as you feel, there it really, really packs a punch.  And she sang last night.

Ok so I find it hard right now to maintain the drumming but I am sure I will get better and my journey last night din' require me to be that deep or focused.  There was no words I might miss if I wavered a little.

From my tree all this black stuff flowed from me and it turned into a river and carried me away and then into an ocean or lake, covering the land as far as I could see.  It was sticky and thick as tar and I was held fast.  Crows came and landed on me and pecked at me, particularly my umbilical cord.

It was a journey where I needed to figure out what to do.  First I tried diving down in to the tar which failed.  Then I called on the tiny dragon who lives inside me to burn it away.  I ended up back on top and it was all burning and drying out but not diminishing.  So I called on the rain to put the fire out and the tar rehydrated too.  I knew I could not fly away for the tar held me tight and would have made my wings horrid.

I was stuck, so I thought about what I was, what gifts I have in the dreaming and I remembered weaving.  So I took a ball of black that was my angst at my colleague and blew a bird spirit into it and it flew away.  I did this for my feelings towards my Boss and any other pieces of negativity I could think of.

When I was done the black was gone and I could see land around me, bare and naked.  So I breathed some of the good things about me and my life through and made plants.  Some fo them were little trees straight away and the birds came back to live there.

I guess what I worked through was that you can change how your emotions look and feel but unless you transform what they are actually made of into something else, then you are still stuck.  I tried thinking my way through, avoidance, anger and cleansing in effect.  You can also see it as calling on the four elements...  but only the fifth could help.  I feel much better today and I felt much better straight away.

I think these techniques are incredibly powerful, dreaming, journeying, visualization, anything that takes you to where ever it is we go, where ever you think that might be.