Generousity

Any character trait, if taken to extremes, can be negative, even the good ones. Life is all about balance not being perfect.

I currently have some one in my life who is overwhelmingly generous, particularly with food. I have found this a little difficult to take at times, even though I appreciate the underlying thought. This has set me to thinking about generousity.

Excessive generosity from one person within a group does not allow others in a group the space to be generous - oh shall I bring in some treats today - hmm no, such and such will have some and some will be wasted.

It devalues the acts of generousity by those with fewer means within a group. I bring in things every day, why can't you bring in something more than once a month? Because I have no money and bringing in this little is a real sacrifice.

Generosity is in some ways also a way of making others make the same choices as the giver has. I think these clothes look great and now you look exactly like me. I do lots of exercise and deserve a little treat every so often, why don't you have a cream cake, even though you don't want or need it?

In some cases, people are generous out of fear, it is an appeasing gift, saying hey! I want to be one of you! Please, can I? But in other cases it is about control. In still others it is a cultural expectation - but how exactly do the receivers deal with it in those cultures? What rights do the receivers have without being seen rude? Now this I would like to know because then I wouldn't have to worry about giving offence!

I want to be more generous. We have received so very much. The F M-I-L is always trying to send over food parcels (we have packets of cakes stacked up) and if ever she hears we are in need of something then she whirrs her social circle in to action - new sofa - here, new fridge - here for a tenner. This has been great for us at times, the second bit anyway.

But in what way do I want to be generous? and what do I wish to be generous with?

I think my things need exactly the right home - one which I have thought about a little and where they won't be a burden to the new owner - something to keep in a cupboard to get out whenever we visit so as not to give offence. A lot of stuff should be recycled or reused in some way.... The old coat with the stains from the time the food in the back of the car all fell over - who would want that? (and why can't we get rid of it?)

So. generousity, as a giver we have a duty not to be a burden.....