The Moment

January is a long month financially - being paid before Christmas and the financial demands of Christmas can make it tough. I did fine, but by the end of January I had committed to a few financial things before I remembered my car tax... All this meant that I have had to be super duper organised this month and, if I carry on like this, I may get to do everything I want, pay for much beauty in my life, keep the Man happy and the wolf from my door and even have some money left over. A lesson there, in not squandering things I feel..... Thought....

So the last couple of days since pay hit the bank, I have been busy sending it straight back out again, which is good! But, I got a bit behind on everything else I do online. Mostly because I was only logging on before work, doing money things and not coming back on in the evenings because I started re-reading the Sookie Stackhouse books and my I just looove Eric... but anyway....

I got up this morning and looked at my email - over a hundred, mostly notifications, but all sorts. I started to look at them but quickly realised I had not got time to do these threads of discussions any justice. So i turned away, vowing to come back tonight (which I have and now I am all caught up). I decided to nip on to Blogger and catch up there.

This was not a good idea - time was short by then. I opened all the blogs I wanted to read and worked my way through. i think the comments I left were too brief, they did not show the care I should show to my friends, and whats more, they made me late leaving the house. Or rather, my determination to squeeze them in did.

I did them no justice and I was thinking about work when I was reading them so I did not enjoy them so much either. I was not in the now.

Recently I have found that the nice voices that occasionally say things to me have been saying mroe things... Like don't go that way to work today - good advice since it turned out a car had broken down and was causing tail backs. Trusting in these things and being in the moment had meant that some days I could push time more and still be relaxed and not late. But today was not a day when I should have pushed, because I was not there....

So I put my foot down on the way to work on the dual carriageway. People were avoiding the fast late, so I zipped in and did some overtaking. Some way back, a white car pulled back in to the slow lane, leaving a white four by four some way back. A voice in my head said Police but I couldn't see anything that looked like Police, so I carried on going.

At my junction I pulled in to the slow lane and the white four by four caught me up.... It may have been white from the front, but it had lots of pretty markings on it including some nice flourescent ones. I was lucky today but it was a warning, of that I have no doubt. i already knew I had fallen out of the moment and pushed things too far, but putting my foot down was not the right way to correct that mistake, it just took me further out of the moment.

I was only one minute late clocking in and my Boss was already in a meeting. I was lucky and I won't try to cram things in like that again. I will do my friends the blessing of my undivided attention - or no attention at all until I have time..... At least on the web we can do it right....