The Dreamer in Me

Some time ago, I wrote about the winds and how dreams and synchronicity had let me identify them and their positions.  Not that I was too happy with them and I still find some of them tricky, they are not comfortable roles for me because I am a pretty peace loving person and some of my roles are apt to cause the opposite!  The only wind I had not found was the one for my centre.  Although it seemed pretty obvious that the next wind to occur in the sequence would be the one that should sit there.

Well the next wind was the Dreamer wind.  I guess this was the one wind I really, really wanted.  I feel called to be a Dreamer and having it sit there in the middle is very cool.  Maybe it was obvious to others, I don't know, but because I wanted it, it would have been hard for me to accept it if it was obvious because I would have felt biaised.  but I had no control over which wind blew next.

So I sat with this a while and slowly other things began to slot together.  A visit to a special place where three birds flew overhead making a triangle with their flight paths,a Magpie, a Herring Gull and a Crow. A dream where I had a tatoo of a circle filled with Crow feathers on my arm.  Discovering I have a whole bunch of ancestors with the surname Crow ( I would so love to know the roots of that name!).  A journey where I met a Crow ancestor who told me that although Magpie may be the totem of my heart, I am a Crow.

So a Crow Dreamer is what I am.  The Centre reflects us as a whole and it's Totem is our spirit animal.  Maybe next time I journey and fly, I should have a close look at my feathers.  I had always assumed I was a Magpie but that seems pretty unlikely now.  Magpie often accompanies me because we get on pretty well and have a mutual respect.

I am still exploring what this means but I do know that this feels full of power.  I find the idea of power pretty scary really.  Skill is something I respect and like more.  So I must be careful to grow into this at the speed of my own skill, otherwise I think I would terrify myself.  Sometimes I find my dreams a little scary and daunting and I stop writing them all down for a while so only the really important ones remain with me.  I am learning to be a Dreamer while dreaming but sometimes it feels too much.  There is a lot of responsibility too.

Yesterday as I was about to tell Lisa about my Crow Dreamer I visted her latest post and her picture for the post was one I immediately loved.  And it reaffirmed me.  Crow recently left me a wing feather as one fed by my car.  I have a couple of Crow spirits who are guides and friends.  Crow walks with me.