F and I have a very good relationship but sometimes things simmer under the surface, refusing to go away, for a while at least. We have different styles of doing things and sometimes this causes conflict.

I appear lacksidaiscal sometimes, with things appearing at the lastish moment, fully completed, but chances are I have put a lot of thought in to them and given myself exactly enough time. Doing my degree, I never missed an assignment and I never worked past ten at night, not even before an exam.

F does not like to think about things, he likes to do them, nut only if they interest him. If they don't interest him, he will ignore them and leave them until the very last moment, sometimes beyond the last moment. In my opinion he often leaves himself too little time. He is often late... He often had to pop home to pick things up when he was on a series of shifts. This does not stress him out. It stresses me out a lot.

So we made a deal, i would organise the wedding and he would make our house habitable.

I set to thinking and doing. Often gluing or painting of an evening after work if I could face it. Giving myself a little time off to read etc, but not much. My Games of Thrones reading has dribbled to a halt. My personal art is zilch right now.

F set to playing computer games as normal. Sometimes he would do a few things to keep me happy. The task was too big for him to be able to split it down into bite size chunks, and it was boring and there were lots of very good reasons why things could not be done and when they were going to be done. Many of the tasks have been underestimated. Un-necessary tasks have been done (like painting the hall, very nice added bonus but somewhere for my parents to sleep is a higher priority). Some tasks were done badly and then had to be redone (the coat rack put up with short screws, no rawl plugs and lots of glue....).

So here we are with less than a week till my family descend and F is now working like a trooper to get it all done. I am too exhausted to help having just pulled a 12 day stretch of work, 99 hours in total and having a hen night tonight and having my own wedding related things to do. And yet, I still feel guilty.... Even though I did everything I could to persuade him to start earlier. I tried every tactic I could think of, nagging, leaving him alone, writing lists, crying..... I will do some stuff to help, I have to and a part of me resents that, that I have had to help because he could not get his act into gear.... He has had a couple of days of my time already plus help for many two person jobs. I just want it all done now, I want to be at the wedding. I want everything to turn out right. I am stressed but not about my side of the deal, he knows that he is the one who has made me stressed and he feels bad.... He has promised never to leave things like this again.

There is a fine line between having faith in someone and being honest and knowing them. He will do this again, he will push it but hopefully next time he will listen to me sooner maybe... But then I don't love him for his organisational abilities, I love him for the way he is with people, the way he is with me. He is a trier, so utterly genuine and so charming and cheeky. He adores me and I adore him and it is not very often our differences make me stressed.

We will be fine.... He may be exhausted by next weekend, but we will be fine.... And the wedding will be beautiful and not many people will see the house..... Hopefully...