Moon of Breaking Masks

I am exploring new beliefs and patterns of things at the moment. I may not get things right so it may be a good idea to go back to the source on stuff. My sources here are Wapeyit and Wheelkeeper as well as the facebook group set up by Wapeyit. This is a shamnistic group that tries to live and learn through the Medicine Wheel.

I am currently looking at moons and I found this post by Wheelkeeper. It seems this year for me, is the year of the Moon of Breaking Masks and as I look at the chart, I can see other years that have been also of this moon at ages 9 and 22. And immediately some things start to swing into place, about what this moon means for me and how my experiences with it have changed over the years. It ties in so very closely to the preceeding Moon too, the Moon of Surrender.

Just before I turned 8, I went to a new school. Things were very, very different for me there. I certainly did not surrender. I put up a fight. I resisted. I was deeply, deeply unhappy. I had accidentally been put up a year and no one realised so I was deemed as being behind and given extra tuition and tested for dyslexia. I was not behind and I was not below average. In an effort to impose grammar by stories were leached from me. I found it hard to go from being one of the oldest in the group to being the youngest and I was behind in physical development too, I was always the last picked for team sports. I also missed boys - I was a tomboy and now I was stuck with girls.

So yes, my First Moon of Surrender year was oh so hard. This lack of Surrender led to a great deal of Anger and this Anger came out, beyond my control. I used to lose it and see red. I used to hit out. I very definitely wanted to break all those masks around me. This was a hard year for me too. In fact my inability to learn Surrender caused me heartache for a few years to come. I don't think I ever surrendered to that school.

When I was 18 I was raped by an ex. This event rumbled through the next couple of years, until shortly before my 21st birthday. I didn't just surrender, I collapsed, my world view just couldn't hold together any more, everything I believed and everything I was just gave way. Days before my 21st birthday I returned to my family home a broken person. I guess having been forced to surrender like that, I had no resistance left. Over a few short months I managed to put myself back together enough to function, to return to the city and work. 21 was a hard year.

Although the events that caused my break happened years before, there was a girl meddling and pushing buttons who helped with the timing of my break some what. A nasty piece of work she was.

By the time I reached 22 I was working and functioning. For my 22nd birthday I bought an expensive dress, got my hair done and went with all my friends to a comedy club. A determinedly stark contrast to the year before where my parents took me to a pub where we knew no one, with just us, sat well away from everyone with me safely in a corner....

So my second year of Breaking Masks was proceeded by an avalance of a Surrender and this Breaking Masks year was no less huge. I believe from what I have read that it is about breaking down illusion and it's opposite is possession, holding on to things. The mask that had broken was me and this year, I picked up all the little pieces and found a way of putting them back together again. This time my world view was not informed by the rules of Chritianity I had been taught as a child - linear and black and white they had no flexibility at all. My new world view came from anywhere and everywhere.

As an academic and a lover of learning, this aspect of breaking masks appeals to me tremendously. I enjoy it. I feel growth and movement running through my mind. I already knew I was in one of these times again and it began around about my birthday. Live has connected me to new teachers and is endeavouring to take me further into other realities through dreaming and journeying. My view of the world is growing tremendously (thankfully this time without being shattered first). Illusions are definitely being broken.

So what of last years Surrender? Oh I surrended in so many ways, with much less trauma and without collapsing (although sometimes with a little griping!). There was another girl in my life at the time who was pushing buttons and testing me, the Little Princess. I did finally Surrender to the experience I had to go through with her, and this time I rode it out without caving and she moved out my life. I also surrended to marriage ( I was engaged a looong time!) although this was mostly about surrendering to the process of arranging a wedding....

I also surrendered some long held aspects of my world view. I read Supernatural by Graham Hancock and this veyr literally turned many thing upside down for me. Surrendering to that was what allowed the door to open so smoothly to the learning I am experiencing now in many ways.

I know there are many aspects of these moons, that the aspects I have looked at within my life are just a small part.... I also know that as well as a personal moon for a year, we collectively progress through the moons, changing each full moon....