Lucky Man

I am up way to early.

I know I will crash and burn.

But for now, I am listening to my body and I am up.

Last night I persuaded F to drive, so I drank and now my body is in that post alcohol, post caffeine, post some sort of food that it is possibly intolerant of. This often happens after a Chinese take away because of the Monosodium Glutamate they use. My heart races and I get hot and I sleep badly.

Last night was good, not because of the food and the drink but because of people. We do not exist a lone. We make connections, form community. Some times those connections reach out and anchor us, like a wall of vines. For some they trap, but I choose to be me and I choose to be here, so why should they trap?

At the beginning of the year we faced redundancies. I stayed, some went. One man, who had become stressed and ineffectiv, went. He was a lovely man, we all adored him. We missed his presence. He anchored my Boss to, which is one reason I think she disliked him. He made it impossible for her games to reach the heights they have this year.

I often talked of F and his work and how much better this new job had been for him. I knew, before he left, that my colleague would apply to the same organisation if he was one of the unlucky ones.

Looking at him last night though, it is clear that that happening, has for him been a lucky one. A nice lump sum from the old stressful job, that left him tired and drained at the end of each day. A new job, which leaves him unstressed and revitalized at the end of each day. New tricks such as cooking, a vital part of his new job, have shifted things for him at home too....

But the irregular hours mean more time for other things.... Older, needy relatives. Golf. Whatever makes his heart sing and more.

It will give me great delight to go to work on Monday and tell everyone exactly how great he is doing. Exactly how good all this has been for him. Exactly how much better and richer it has made his life.

I think, every single one of us, will sit there and wonder, who exactly were the lucky ones...