Digging

Last night, I pulled two cards before bed and got otter and squirrel, both contrary. So this is what they said....

I am running from one idea to another, lacking focus. Maybe because I am avoiding a gift from the Universe. Fear of being rejected. I need to play and not be scared! I am hoarding, scared of the worst and stuck waiting. Waiting for something to happen is a trap. More erratic energy....

So erratic focus, hoarding, fear... hmmmm

maybe

I want to sort our bedroom and make things for in there, including a rag rug or two. The floor needs painting and so does everything else....

I want to learn crochet more... so I can actually start granny squares by myself.

I want to complete Sparkles

I want to complete all 21 workshops in 21 Secrets.

I want to read.... Dancing the Dream, Art is a Spiritual Path, The Magpies, Supernatural along with all sorts of light fiction....

I want to cook more and learn about kitchen witchery more

I want to plan my wedding

I want to do some more Happy Book

I want to get fitter....

I want to walk and visit all sorts of places.

A lot to do..... So what have I been avoiding? Two things - planning a wedding (only taken me five years to get to this point) and dreaming.

I got a bit over.... something... by my dreaming. I was spending so much of each night dreaming, and remembering. Analysing was getting quite heavy. I am not sure how much I really wish to know sometimes about my life. How much can one person handle downloading at one time? I am not that brave. I got scared. I got over-awed. I got flustered by the demands on time it was making....

And the wedding.... much the same. I have been so overawed and scared of it, I just have not done anything. Hello.... I organised conferences with exhibitions in the past..... For hundreds of people. A little wedding..... Why is that so scary?

And then earlier, I was sat at work, happily day dreaming the details of the preparations to be and then I start thinking about not being Miss Me any more and being Mrs Him. Ouch.

So not much that I am being erratic about. Not much I am being feaful of.

and yes I am hoarding..... I have a house full of stuff I need to let go of - including every single piece of furniture currently in my bedroom except for the trunk a great great uncle took to India. I collected my teaching books together to get rid of, but they are still there....

So here I am....