Space

I am coming to realise just how important this is to me. Space.

In so many ways.

F works shifts. His shifts are all over the place but I get weekends to myself sometimes. Sometimes I get evenings and entire nights. F has been on holiday this last week and a bit and I have found myself missing my times of space. I don't miss it most of the time, just when things have built up inside a little somehow. Space. I so need it every so often. To be alone. Time.

F decided to tidy the spare room while he was off. He moved stuff to clear space for all the things we need to move out of the bedroom. He did a good job. But he violated my space during that time. Half of the spare room is my creative space and I walked out leaving things drying, drawers open, tissue papers unfolded. If I had known, I would have put things away. But I didn't so things ended up not quite as I wanted. And I realised that this is my space and it had been violated.

Creatively I think we need to have a place we can make a mess, leave them out, not pack away, just walk away and leave it mid-flow so we can come back and pick it right up. Our space and our creations are very important.

Some time ago I had been sorting papers from a course and F went to look for something. Instead of asking, he riffled through the papers I had sorted. Stuff ended up everywhere. I didn't use that space again for months. I couldn't bare to sort out the mess, not there....

I think as adults we need need a room of our own just as much as children do. It is why husbands have their attics, basements and garden sheds.... Why men often feel uncomfortable in their wife's kitchen. When you share a bedroom with someone that becomes a joint space.

I hope we always live somewhere big enough for us both to have our own rooms, but we probably won't if we have children. But space is very important and i will ensire I have it. I need it.