The Joy of Solidarity

I have only a little time as I have tried to pack too much in to this evening.

Today there was another event with my Boss. She gave me a good telling off. I had not done something, something pretty insignificant. I had not been asked to do it by her or her deputy and I had no reason to adjust my priorities. She was not happy about it. Tough. I was not happy with her and I suspect she overheard some comment I made.

So she started on me. What was my problem with her. I responded by saying I actually felt she had a huge problem with me. I named a few situations where I had felt either that I had gained her negative feelings or gone to her with a problem and then felt it had gained her negative feelings. She denied these and suggested I be a little less sensitive, but we both knew that I was right, she had done things to give that distinct impression.

She said I needed to get off my backside more and helpout. I pointed out that normally I do but the last month has been a strange one because of the large amount of leave the person I share a job has had. Our main task is a desk based one, so in an effort to cover her, of course I have been very much desk based. I pointed out that at times of the month when this task has been un-neccessary, I have not been desk-based...

Then it turned out that her deputy was stressed and had felt unable to ask for assistance. i knew damn well that they were fine and would have asked if they needed it. She has been subtly undermining them for a while. Hinting at them being unable to deal with stress etc... The biggest stress is generally the Boss...

She stopped being so antagonisitc when she realised I was going to hold firm and stick to my guns without being rude. She was trying to batter me down. She failed. We ended this confidence with her informing me I was more senior than the person who shares my job and telling me I should give them a kick when they are slacking. (In the past if I had tried this, they would have gone to the Boss and then I would be the worst because we are equals - we are so wise to this game now). She then said she wanted me to step up towards the same level as the Deputy!

What a divisive conversation. When the telling off wouldn't stick she tried to set me above or equal to two other colleagues. Both of whom are friends. No change in my contract or pay and no telling the other team members or making it official in any way! Yeah right! And do I actually want to be in charge of anyone? Nope.

After lunch the group of us were alone without the Boss. Now we know each other and our situation well enough that we can talk about such things....

The Deputy described their chat with her and my colleague described how she had been grilled and during that conversation a comment had been made that made it clear my Boss did not like that the Deputy and I get on. We had a laugh and a joke about it all and got with the day and had a few more laughs too.

My Boss may congratulate herself on running her team so well. Truth is, we are all very capable and don't particularly need her most of the time. We get everything done with less stress when she isn't there. We make her look good because we believe in doing our jobs well, not because of anything she does.

For me, today was a triumph. I didn't win that argument, there was no way I could, but I held firm and I certainly did not lose. I feel happy. This is a real big thing for me. I hate confrontation and am often lacking confidence and assertiveness. I did not resort to being nasty. The decisions I had made were not made through laziness so I actually had logic to back me up. I expect for all the hug and shake of hands, my Boss probably hates me even more now. Do I care? Not one bit! *grin*