Dream Catch Me

Soooo.... Last night I had some more dreams and I realised that I have a third type of dream.

The first is the normal, random sortings of a brain at rest, processing the detritus of the day.

The second is the dream with weight, with symbolism. The messages my brain sends me.

The third type are the dreams my brain sends to give me a fun nights sleep. My brain sends me stories. Dramatic rollicking thrillers. Unhampered by the requirement of a plot that scans from start to finish, these stories are epic. I can never remember the nuance of it all, the twists, the turns. I wish I could capture them but as soon as I wake, they float away. Poof!

I very occasionally wonder if there is a fourth type or if these other occasions fit in to one of the categories. Sometimes, very occasionally, I awake, knowing I have had a dream, of which I can remember nothing at all. But the feeling the dream leaves is so strong, so powerful. I wake up so happy, like someone has been telling me the most wonderful things, like my life is incredible and everything is alright. It is an amazing feeling as I wake.

But then, I am awake and I realise that I am in this life, this body and nothing feels particularly perfect at all. And in that moment it hurts.

I have not had this dream in a long time, but then the memory of it passes quickly, thankfully. The dream and the feelings have no reference to anchor them in time, so the memory of feeling remains but loose in my memory. Maybe that feeling is supposed to give me hope. Maybe it is all the happy neurons in my brain firing randomly as I wake up.

I feel kinda sad just talking about those dreams.

And the title of this post is from a song

Dream catch me when I fall, or else I won't come back at all....

And if you like that, go look up his version of Teardrops...

I was supposed to go and see him last year when I had my bad illness. F went without me and a friend who had been desperate, but unable to, get a ticket went instead...... Next time....