Wednesday 8 September 2010

Guilt

I feel guilt...

I drift in the breeze.

I leave things behind.

I find new things.

I get blown back towards some things.

What do you do if you get blown back towards things you left abruptly?

I did kind of explain my vanishing but I have felt too much guilt to announce my return. I don't feel i deserve my blog friends back. I left a lot of things half done.

I never finished my Wreck This Journal. Even worse, I still have a fellow Wreckers page. Even worse, I have finished with it and just needed to post it back.

I never did all my blog candy. Some is half done, some not started. They have waited a loooong time now.

I never paid it forward....

Commitments failed that I still want to finish. I guess I feel I need to finish the things I said I would all that time ago, before I deserve to possibly reopen that lovely bloggy friendy dialogue....

Is that reasonable or am I just being mean to myself?

4 comments:

teri said...

You only have a commitment to yourself, Rose. That's all. I started three blogs that I never finished before I started one that I didn't commit to. That's the one I've been writing in for 18 months because it didn't feel like a commitment or something I had to do and the minute it does feel like that, I'll stop doing it. There is something in me that refuses to do the things people expect of me. Maybe you're like that too. Thanks for visiting my blog. xo-teri

Rose said...

I guess I just don't like feeling like I have let people down. I did really, really need the time out though...

mel said...

Sister -- just let the effing things go!! I did. I"m all about shoving things off the damn cliff of Too-Damn-Bad-Life-Is-Short (i'm evidently cursing alot too..lol).

seriously though.

i'm just glad you're back. i missed you. so did Savannah. she asks about you often. she still has the clay name you made for her hanging on her bedroom door. that's the stuff that matters -- the things that were done and the connections that were made -- not the unfinished stuff. it never was.

i can't believe i never found this blog....

Rose said...

I loved that clay name! Those paints are so lovely.... I am still working onsome of the unfinished stuff though. Just some of it. Some it was so close to being finished it would be tragic to leave it that way...