Monday 14 March 2011

Chains and Riches

Strange dreams last night.

But I guess I asked for them. Before I went to sleep some words drifted in to my head, and I spoke them inside my head in that way that has intention, half spell, half prayer. Words I can't remember now, about walking with the Goddess in my dreams.

So I guess I got what I asked for.

I dreamt I was a little girl, washed out to see, all alone in the ocean, floating on a mattress, clinging to a case full of money. I was rescued by a fishing vessel but refused to let go of that case....

I dreamt of a group of people, flitting from character to character. A man left a nightclub and discovered a girl chained underneath, sold into slavery. He tried to rescue her, to talk to her. Another of the group was with another woman and was confronted by the club owner. The other woman, who was not me, started chanting and so the group of two began chanting together. I don't remember the words but there was something about being free, freeing the woman. A spell cast in my sleep..... While the Goddess walked with me....

I woke with the Tears for Fears song, Woman in Chains in my head. Later came the thought that my inner child is a hoarder. I was a hoarder. I didn't want to ruin things so I often didn't use them, kept them pristine and unsullied.... Pretty pads unused so as not to ruin them. The things that lived under the bed - there was a household myth that if you lost something, then you should look under my bed....

I hoard. I collect. I want more. I want to keep. letting go of books..... wanting more music than I can ever listen to on my ipod. Throwing things away..... but at the same time I know I can live without things - I did for some time when all my posessions went in to storage, including the ones that were not supposed to, I had a couple of days clothes for a month....

I need to think on this more. I am not sure what it is I am hoarding exactly. What is it my inner child considers to be riches exactly? What could tempt her to let go? What can unlock that woman's chains, make her let go of her slavery?

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