Journeying with Myself

Since the other day I have done another two card reading and it was a gentler thing than the last. Elk and Deer, stamina and gentleness. Again they go well, keep going but make sure you give yourself breaks.....

I had a dream yesterday afternoon (afternoon naps have ruled his weekend in helping myself catch up). In it I was in my parents back garden. There back garden is large and basically encloses the house on three sides. On one of these the back garden encloses the front garden and parking area too. The garden is much longer than it is wide, with the house perpendicular to the long side, sort of dividing the garden in two. One end is much more open than the other.

On one side the house is over shadowed by three huge lime or linden trees. In my dream there was a tree growing in the shadow of the giant trees, in Summer there leaf canopy is beautiful and creates huge amounts of shade... I was told to move the tree in the sun so I dug it up roots and all and huge amounts of earth and plonked it in the open in the other side of the garden. The tree was happy. Then I saw an amazing, huge yellow beautiful butterfly.

So, moving my tree will unleash my transformation....hmmmm..... what does moving my tree mean and how do I do it?

Anyway... my ninth totem animal is the otter. I was sort of denying it, invalidating the experience when i was gifted it and here is the story....

Once upon a time I was a gap year student on a placement and I couldn't drive and had had to move away from home. I was young and alone but there were other people around on the same scheme as me. One chap was a good friend (and that was very much all) and one. Friday night he called me straight after work and said come along lets go... so we did...

He had a van with a mattress in the back decked out with curtains and all. So sleeping bags in the back we set off for Avebury. We parked on the road and climbed up the mound in the dark before returning to the van and playing crib. In the morning we woke early and visited the barrow shortly after dawn. It was lovely.

We were a little surprised however to find a man there, who had slept in the barrow overnight. We chatted and gave him a lift into the village. Before he left, he took out a rag tag deck of cards. Blank white cards with the names of animals written on them, they were moth eaten and dirty. My card was the Otter. We left him and visited the stones while the village slept on.

The man himself was rough around the edges. Older than us, I doubt our parents would have been pleased to see us with him. The meeting was brief and no information given and none pursued but it was a gift none the less. Otters are not so very common sights in the UK, they are shy and hard too catch....

Every time I glimpsed the Otter page in my new book, my heart would jump. there are only so many times you can ignore that.....

So I have my nine animals and a varied bunch they are too! (well apart from my collection of canids).

Otters are all about balanced female energy. Otters are playful and don't start fights but will fight if attacked. they care for their young. They are welcoming and non-judgemental, they have joy for others. Envy has no place. Stop worrying and let the playful inner child out.... Play...

A good message for me. Something I am and something I am working on being. The way all my totems seem to be. It is odd that they are both things I am but things I struggle to be. Almost contradictory, but it works for me.