My Aminals and I

Sooooo.....

My medicine cards came with a lovely book and the first thing in there is to find your 9 power animals. The first seven of these are each for a direction and the last two are personal power allies, which are not necessarily found by using the deck. I obviously know one of mine already, magpie, but the other is a mystery to me.....

So I did the layout and cringed.... because it was obvious I had not shuffled enough.

But.

It is a layout you are only supposed to once. ever.

So I thought about it and this was how I was moved and this is what I have.

Each totem animal helps with the lessons related to that direction, but also stands for talents or attributes we have or need to develop. It is a key and we can call on them to help us in our life. They are here to help and we should accept their blessings.....

Ant - guardian of my path and an aid in my greatest spiritual challenges. The ant is many things, aggressive, a builder, stamina, scrutiny and generousity but it is most strongly patient and trusting the Universe to provide. I know I am patient. I am able to complete painstaking beadwork, spend hours, weeks, years doing the same mundane tasks over and over again. I have patience for sure and I do slowly chip away at things but in terms of my spiritual path? Maybe not so sure..... I am always imploring the Universe to help move things on for me..... yes I am waiting, but perhaps not very gracefully..... I am laidback about things (wardrobes still not been ordered) but other times I despair about the state of my house and the long list of things that need doing to it. I can see this as a strength but also something I need more of....... oh yes.... I have always respected the ant, I sat on ant nests twice within a week as a kid and I have never ever forgotten.....

Turkey - The Turkey is the animal that guards my inner child and helps maintain my balance of innocence. The turkey represents the give-away, this is all very North American for me, not part of my heritage and the closest i can get easily is the theme of generousity. Apparently, having this medicine means I have many virtues and have transcended self.... I think this may be a goal, but I do not feel like i am there yet. I often feel I have to guard my energetic giving as I get very tired.... When I smoked, I was always the one giving away my cigarettes. At work, I am the one who always has sweets for others. I give heavily of my time in making gifts for my family. I sometimes get too ambitious in the things I want to give - packages have so many things I want to include they never gert sent. I have found myself becoming less generous, worrying about money. i recently decided that my teaching books would never make it on to Amazon to sell and that I should give them to the local library specialising in teaching, but they have not got there yet. I need to work on this. I need to work on not trying to give too much, because then sometimes I end up giving nothing at all or not leaving enough for myself.


Rabbit - This animal is my personal truth, my inner answers, the path to my goals. And I get the rabbit! The rabbit stands for fear. It is prey to everything. Apparently it became this way because it was scared of what might be and this ended up writing it's future. All the things I am most afraid of, I will call to me. What I resist will persist. I will become what I fear most. I have to learn not to constantly do the what if thing.... i do this. I do this a lot. I am a worrier. I think about possibilities, I run them through my head over and over again. I have had a tendancy to be very negative because of this. In my job my head has time to spin all over the place and this has been good for me. I have gotten a lot, lot better at making sure my head spins in happy circles and that i do not start on that nasty negative downward spiral. I have learnt to manage my mind better, in order to help myself be happier. Am I still scared of stuff happening? oh hell yes, there are still things that scare the beejesus out of me, that i pick at like a spot, for instance, it terrifies me that F might die and leave me alone. Apparently I need to release my fear..... To give it away. So I can see progress here, i can see where I have come from, but I have a long way to go.

Wolf - This one is all about when to speak and when to listen and to count my blessings. The wolf is the teacher, the knowledge within, psychic energy via it's ally the moon. It is it's own being but is fiercely devoted in relationships, it manages to retain it's identity within relationships. Not something I have always found easy but F is great and with him, I am myself, as I learn how to be me. I guess it is appropriate... i love to learn. I love learning more than anything else. I howl at that moon for sure. i even tried to train as a teacher but.... i did not suceed for I was unable to fit within the current school framework very well. It seems I should look for the lessons, no matter where I am. That walking in lonely places may help me hear the lessons within. Stuff to think about here for sure.....

Dog - and my second canid (I like dogs and am very closely bonded with mine, my family, always have been). This is all about honouring the powers that be, my guardian of the dreamtime. The dog is all about loyalty and we all know how true and loyal they can be, even when they are abused. They will destroy themselves before they lose their faith. Best friend and protector. It is all about service, but the trick of dog is to learn to be your own best friend, to face my fears, to look at y loyalty andhow it interacts with my need for approval. To be loyal to myself and my own purpose in life. Stop cowering in fear. I have had guardian dogs throughout my life and they have even featured in dreams.

Coyote - and my third canid, all about inner earth and how to stay grounded. Coyote often features in Charles de Lint's books so I am familiar with his character.... The great trickster, the fool. Always meddling and setting things in motion, that never work as they should, but he always survives, always gets by, even if he is beat up and hurting, he has to laugh at it all, because so often there is nothing else he can do. Cosmic humour, the great joke. All about doing things just because they are crazy and fun as well as the knots we tie ourselves in that ae just daft beyond reason. Oh so I need to lightne up, to let loose more, to play jokes and celebrate the whimsical.... Oh this is a hard one for me to get, which is exactly why I need it! I am a logical science type, I don't always get humour and I take a while to relax with people and let it go. Coyote is sacred though and I guess, having coyote in your life means it will never be dull. I need coyote badly. I can see instances where coyote has walked my path with me. I need to play pranks, to be more foolish, to meddle a little maybe? ouch ouch ouch! And yes, I can see some areas of my life where the joke is on me.

Porcupine - This is all about my inner self, my joy and personal truths, the protector of my sacred space and it stands for innocence. Trust and faith and becoming child like. Playfulness of spirit. As a scientist, I play. As an artist I play. I could perhaps do with a little more trust and faith but well... Although I am not innocent, i do have a innocent quality. I often take things as they appear, even though some other part of my head knows things may be otherwise, i go along with how they appear whole heartedly. I am not sure i can explain this very well, but I can see my innocence and I can also see it as something to work on.

Finally my two power allies, one for the right, one for left; one masculine, one feminine. The book suggests letting them come to you, but when they do, buying a book on them and learning more about them. My book on magpies arrived at the same time as my cards (do I believe in coincidences?). I do not yet know if they are left or right and I do not yet know what my ninth animal is, but I am very, very certain of my magpies.

I have enjoyed this immensely and writing has helped me take it deeper. i have a lot further to go with my animals, we shall walk together along aways. and i have much deeper to slow with them to. Any insights gratefully appreciated!

And I know I have things I am thinking on to write about, they are still coming....