Guardian Dog Angel

When I was about twelve, we had one dog, an old Welsh Border Collie who lived in the garden, got too hot if you brought him in and was not a people dog. We had lost another dog a while back. She was a sweetie....

So one day we were driving from school to my Gran's and we were going down a tiny country lane. We saw the car in front slow and then drive on and as we reached where it had sloed, we saw why. There was a dog. A fawn and white skeleton of a greyhound. She was sniffing cars as they passed.

She sniffed our car as we slowed and then stopped. She was so ... gentle. She was cut and bleeding in places and really needed a good meal, well a lot of good meals. She quietly got in the back of the car and sat next to me.

We visited a friend with a kennels on the way home and she knew of no missing dogs in the area. We took her home and fed her and later on took her to the police kennels. I remember leaving her there. She howled as we left her.

She had impressed us all with her gentleness. She was a beautiful spirit and it was clear to see.

No one came forward to claim her, so after her week, she was going to be put down. My parents stepped in and arranged to pick her up and mys sister and I were delighted.

Except my mum got lost on the way to the kennels and was unable to pick her up. I remember being terrified that she would be put down as we had not got there in time. She was kept alive as they knew she was wanted and the day after she came home.

I have a really, really bad memory so i don't remember all the details of how it all came about but she became my friend. She was mine. If I called her, she always came, no matter what was going on, unless it involved food.

If she knew I was awake she would whine and howl at the bottom of the stairs till the door opened and she could get to me. She always knew when I was unhappy, even before I got home. She loved me unconditionally.

When I became ill with glandular fever, she was my companion. I was not up to a lot at that time, I saw few people. I slept. And she slept with me. I would walk up the nearby hill and she would accompany me. Those walks and her company kept me sane.

When she eventually died, i felt her spirit visit me later that same day. She was not a simple dog,s he was something much more and I still believe that. I think she was a guardian sent to help me through tough times. How much worse would my loneliness and all that fed the growth of the Outsider have been without her?

Little Dog and Big Dog, for all their love and everything else and all that I love(d) them and adore(d) them, that something that she had is missing. She was more than a dog. I thank spirit or whatever you wish to call it for sending her to me when I needed her.

I could tell you more stories about her, how she used to raid bins, could jump the highest of fences, grinned, and turned out to be pregnant when we got her....

I am not sure how far and where exactly to dig to release the hold of the Outsider on my Inner Child, so i will keep writing till I feel it.... And it does not hurt to share a little gratitude for the good things on the way.